Redshirting consequences at Lafayette

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

Life is not a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

Life is not a competition.

And if you view life this way, it explains why you’re not one of the wealthy moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine how anyone on this thread thinks this is helping the Lafayette parents. I genuinely want to know if they actually want support because it seems either the parents themselves or people insinuating they're the involved parents are here accusing others of mental illness.

Eric Goulet's SBOE bill alone isn't going to do anything. They're going to need vocal community support for that and I have yet to see any indication that they want that versus just yelling at everyone and anyone who even tepidly disagrees until a rather rancid fight ensues a la above.

I mean given the person leading this charge publicly also ran to the press to complain about the principal back in the winter with regard to the playground I'm not shocked the principal isn't super eager to work with them, but if they want community support needed for any kind of legislative fix this does not seem like the way to accomplish it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

If it were that easy everyone would send their kids to kindergarten at 10 to make them geniuses. It doesn’t work like that.

People that are vocal opponents are quite irrational and the benefits are so vastly overstated, it’s more of a fear of missing out, totally unfounded. Maybe they wanted to redshirt and were denied, so now they value what they couldn’t have.

If parents care, let them hold back and avoid the drama year after year. Most school districts in US allow it and the sky is not falling over.

A lot of noise about nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many parents bring an extremely unhealthy competitive background. To the point of assuming everyone is in direct competition and everyone is scheming to get an unfair advantage however minute.

There is a broad ignorance about mental health issues and many of these posters exhibit troublesome paranoia traits that have little anchoring in reality.

I’m sympathetic to these people whom were active posters in this thread, but they end up hurting people around them including their own kids. It’s important to bring awareness and perspective.

Holding your kids back without good reason seems the height of entitlement and mental illness. They are the competitive parents trying to give their kids the edge.

I’m not mentally ill. I decided I would rather send my 18 almost 19 year old child to college than my not quite 18 year old. So he started kindergarten late. I am sorry if that offends you.

So, you are bullying others to do what you do to rationalize it. My kid will be a few week of 17 in college. Not a big deal. Far better than being 18 in hs.

I’m not a Lafayette parent or a DC resident and am not bullying anyone. I did what I thought was best for my child and you did what you felt was best for yours. The fact that I made a choice that you personally didn’t make for your kid doesn’t make it wrong and doesn’t make me a bad parent.

Yes you are. You are very hostile and nasty. There are rules for a reason. I hope your kids don’t resent you for holding them back.

Hostile and nasty how? Because I made a decision that you don’t agree with?

My kid is thriving. Good grades, good friends, and happy! I hope your child is as well…that is all any parent wants for their kids and hopefully drives your decision making.

Too bad they are not with true peers in the appropriate grade.

Oh yes..it’s just terrible that they are doing well and have friends…🙄🙄

Since they are doing great/no issues, there was no reason to hold them back except your ego. Zero reason. They would have done great in their age appropiate grade level and had friends too.

Ok, so it was the ego, what’s the problem with that? Maybe they would have done equally well sent earlier. Maybe not, you’ll know because you can’t turn back the time.

[Anonymous]

I think some of the none-DC people in the thread do not get how this works in DC.

DCPS, as an institution, does not permit redshirting and has not for a long time. There are a variety of policy reasons for this. It does not actually matter what they are for purposes of this conversation -- the rule is clear.

In 99% of the city, this rule is enforced except in cases of an IEP where doctors/therapists recommend holding back. That's it.

But there are a few schools in upper NW, which no coincidentally are the whitest and wealthiest in the city, where principals have been more loose with application of the law, because of the demands of parents. This was tolerated for a time, but is not anymore. To be clear, these schools were ALWAYS breaking the rules, both in letter and in spirit.

Politics have shifted, and most of those schools don't do it anymore. Except Lafayette. And now Lafayette doesn't do it anymore. And a tiny handful of parents who were hoping to squeak their kids under the old regime rolled the dice and lost.

That's it. If DC wants to have a city-wide conversation about cut off ages and dates, that would be interesting. There are some decent arguments for flexible cut offs, though DC would have to square universal PK with that and figure out how to avoid some families just getting an extra year if PK. The option would have to be made available to all parents. Yes, equity issues would be discussed, if that bothers you then DCPS is not a good fit for your family.

But this is not that conversation. This is a few wealthy, white families who expected a special allowance and didn't get it and are stomping their feet. No one is on their side. I'm white, UMC, my kids attend one of the better elementary schools in DC (where they started at age 5 with summer birthdays) and I'm embarrassed for them.

This is not a conversation about redshirting broadly or if DC should change the rules. It's about a few people who thought the rules didn't apply to them and got publicly ridiculously angry when they found out they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine how anyone on this thread thinks this is helping the Lafayette parents. I genuinely want to know if they actually want support because it seems either the parents themselves or people insinuating they're the involved parents are here accusing others of mental illness.

Eric Goulet's SBOE bill alone isn't going to do anything. They're going to need vocal community support for that and I have yet to see any indication that they want that versus just yelling at everyone and anyone who even tepidly disagrees until a rather rancid fight ensues a la above.

I mean given the person leading this charge publicly also ran to the press to complain about the principal back in the winter with regard to the playground I'm not shocked the principal isn't super eager to work with them, but if they want community support needed for any kind of legislative fix this does not seem like the way to accomplish it.

Yes, the weird complaint about this principal's handling of a previous unrelated situation in Eric's newsletter made it extremely obvious who really wrote it. Not a great look for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the none-DC people in the thread do not get how this works in DC.

DCPS, as an institution, does not permit redshirting and has not for a long time. There are a variety of policy reasons for this. It does not actually matter what they are for purposes of this conversation -- the rule is clear.

In 99% of the city, this rule is enforced except in cases of an IEP where doctors/therapists recommend holding back. That's it.

But there are a few schools in upper NW, which no coincidentally are the whitest and wealthiest in the city, where principals have been more loose with application of the law, because of the demands of parents. This was tolerated for a time, but is not anymore. To be clear, these schools were ALWAYS breaking the rules, both in letter and in spirit.

Politics have shifted, and most of those schools don't do it anymore. Except Lafayette. And now Lafayette doesn't do it anymore. And a tiny handful of parents who were hoping to squeak their kids under the old regime rolled the dice and lost.

That's it. If DC wants to have a city-wide conversation about cut off ages and dates, that would be interesting. There are some decent arguments for flexible cut offs, though DC would have to square universal PK with that and figure out how to avoid some families just getting an extra year if PK. The option would have to be made available to all parents. Yes, equity issues would be discussed, if that bothers you then DCPS is not a good fit for your family.

But this is not that conversation. This is a few wealthy, white families who expected a special allowance and didn't get it and are stomping their feet. No one is on their side. I'm white, UMC, my kids attend one of the better elementary schools in DC (where they started at age 5 with summer birthdays) and I'm embarrassed for them.

This is not a conversation about redshirting broadly or if DC should change the rules. It's about a few people who thought the rules didn't apply to them and got publicly ridiculously angry when they found out they did.

Why are you so invested in this? You come across as weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

The physical traits only matter in sports and those are by age. The intellectual abilities are not as connected to age and more with learning.

I don’t believe it’s an advantage, but if you believe those things, why didn’t you redshirt you kid? I still don’t understand what the issue is if some parents want to advantage their kids and send them later. We don’t blink an eye at tutors and expensive private schools.

If it were that easy everyone would send their kids to kindergarten at 10 to make them geniuses. It doesn’t work like that.

People that are vocal opponents are quite irrational and the benefits are so vastly overstated, it’s more of a fear of missing out, totally unfounded. Maybe they wanted to redshirt and were denied, so now they value what they couldn’t have.

If parents care, let them hold back and avoid the drama year after year. Most school districts in US allow it and the sky is not falling over.

A lot of noise about nothing.

I don't think this is true anymore? You can find multiple threads other places lamenting districts stopping the practice, including Westchester, NY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine how anyone on this thread thinks this is helping the Lafayette parents. I genuinely want to know if they actually want support because it seems either the parents themselves or people insinuating they're the involved parents are here accusing others of mental illness.

Eric Goulet's SBOE bill alone isn't going to do anything. They're going to need vocal community support for that and I have yet to see any indication that they want that versus just yelling at everyone and anyone who even tepidly disagrees until a rather rancid fight ensues a la above.

I mean given the person leading this charge publicly also ran to the press to complain about the principal back in the winter with regard to the playground I'm not shocked the principal isn't super eager to work with them, but if they want community support needed for any kind of legislative fix this does not seem like the way to accomplish it.

Yes, the weird complaint about this principal's handling of a previous unrelated situation in Eric's newsletter made it extremely obvious who really wrote it. Not a great look for him.

Oh wait, the same mom who wants to redshirt was also running to the press about the playground being slippery? What a nightmare. Hopefully DCPS will stand behind its admins here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the none-DC people in the thread do not get how this works in DC.

DCPS, as an institution, does not permit redshirting and has not for a long time. There are a variety of policy reasons for this. It does not actually matter what they are for purposes of this conversation -- the rule is clear.

In 99% of the city, this rule is enforced except in cases of an IEP where doctors/therapists recommend holding back. That's it.

But there are a few schools in upper NW, which no coincidentally are the whitest and wealthiest in the city, where principals have been more loose with application of the law, because of the demands of parents. This was tolerated for a time, but is not anymore. To be clear, these schools were ALWAYS breaking the rules, both in letter and in spirit.

Politics have shifted, and most of those schools don't do it anymore. Except Lafayette. And now Lafayette doesn't do it anymore. And a tiny handful of parents who were hoping to squeak their kids under the old regime rolled the dice and lost.

That's it. If DC wants to have a city-wide conversation about cut off ages and dates, that would be interesting. There are some decent arguments for flexible cut offs, though DC would have to square universal PK with that and figure out how to avoid some families just getting an extra year if PK. The option would have to be made available to all parents. Yes, equity issues would be discussed, if that bothers you then DCPS is not a good fit for your family.

But this is not that conversation. This is a few wealthy, white families who expected a special allowance and didn't get it and are stomping their feet. No one is on their side. I'm white, UMC, my kids attend one of the better elementary schools in DC (where they started at age 5 with summer birthdays) and I'm embarrassed for them.

This is not a conversation about redshirting broadly or if DC should change the rules. It's about a few people who thought the rules didn't apply to them and got publicly ridiculously angry when they found out they did.

This. This. This. A thousand times.

Also coming from a parent with a son with a late summer birthday, who started DCPS kindergarten at age 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

Life is not a competition.

You are making it one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that some of these posters show troubling mental health signs. Really surprised the lack of boundary awareness. We are talking about kids here and people are speculating wildly about special needs, IEP, what was approved, with absolutely no shred of evidence. Ultimately that’s a private matter, leave it to the school and parents.

The comments about taking pleasure in someone’s (a child, none the less!) misfortune were truly repugnant. You’ve got to have a massive chip on your shoulder to stoop so low.

The competition these parents imagine themselves to be in is truly disturbing. The kid starting kindergarten later won’t steal anyone spot at a coveted college or a job later on, life is not that deterministic.

Also the strident chest beating about how great of a mother a poster is for taking care of her special needs child, and judging everyone else by how they compare against how much she did for her kid. Are we competing on who sacrificed most for their kids now? That’s what it seems. The bragging and inquiring about whose kid is more advanced in math, that’s a whole next level of insane competitiveness.

Unfortunately these harpies are lost, there’s no relief in sight, because they think of themselves as heroine mothers and models to follow, the very voice of common sense.

Lol no. The issue is an entitled set of NW moms taking up ALL the air in the room to get their own way. That’s no way to run a school system and we have seen very recent examples of where catering to a coterie of “concerned moms” was disastrous.

Yes this. All of the opposition is because people who think rules don't apply to them are grating. But then the UNW moms create a bunch of straw man arguments and vehemently defend them. That feels like 50 percent of this thread now.

I know! The other 50% is “look how much I did for my child, why can’t you do the same?”

In short, striver mom gets her ivy (lol) hopes high when her kid is taking calculus in 10th grade, only to see them shattered by actual college admission results. Meanwhile, lower “stats” kid gets into UVA. Initially she can’t even comprehend it, but it finally dawn on her, the kid was redshirted, an unfair advantage that negated all her hard work throughout the years. All that kindergarten reading, the algebra in 6th, the tutoring, it was for nothing because her kid was the youngest in the grade, a massive handicap to those in the know.

So she does what any rational person would do, troll internet posting boards, seeking validation of her parenting skill and spewing venom on redshirted kids and their parents. It’s really cathartic at the end of the day, and much cheaper than therapy. Not as effective though, her rants are getting more and more unhinged.

This is a perfect example of a straw man argument . Thank you!

But you’ve been so forthcoming with sharing personal details in your life especially about giving parents advice on how to raise their kids.

For real though, what college did your kid go to? Because with all the advice you’re dishing out, forgive me, but I want to make sure you’re legit and the final outcome is worthy of paying attention to you. If it’s below William and Mary don’t say anything, we get it, I won’t push it further and you have my sympathy.

My kids are not in college yet but it’s clear you held back to game the system. You did it for your ego vs your kids. I could not care less the ranking and hope mine go to an affordable school so we can pay for college and grad school. Except in a few fields no one cares about rankings except someone like you.

You just proved the point we are making about people like you who are gaming the system. I feel for your kids given how competitive you are.

Why is it gaming the system to hold back a kid until he’s ready to enter kindergarten?

Don’t you want all the kids to do well?

Because they are bigger, stronger, taller, faster, start puberty early for their grade and have more developed brains than the age level kids in their grades. Those factors impact almost everything.

Life is not a competition.

You are making it one.

You are.