What secrets do most of your friends & family not know about you?

[Anonymous]

To clarify about the Janes:
During the pre-Roe days, they were an underground network of women in the Chicago area who helped women obtain abortions. There's a movie called The Janes about them.
As I wrote above, I was part of a small secret group of women in Ohio who organized in 1973, the year the Supreme Court handed down the Roe decision. Abortion was legal in CA and NY. I drove women from Ohio to NY to obtain safe legal abortions from a doctor whose office was on the Upper East Side of NYC. He was an excellent doctor and a wonderful man. Our network of women collectively raised the money for the women in need. It was not at all illegal to do what I did in 1973. The secrecy was to protect women's privacy.
These new laws in some states to make it illegal to do what I did in 1973 are inhumane. I haven't yet been asked to reinstate our old network but I probably will if called upon.

[Anonymous]

PS Women have been organizing like this since at least the 1600's. In New England, Alice Frost was jailed by the Puritan fathers for her activities as a midwife, which probably included C-section births and also abortions. The Puritan mothers petitioned for her release and eventually got it.
She was an ancestor of mine. I'll be happy to follow her example, if necessary.

[Anonymous]

https://ancestorbios.blogspot.com/2018/05/midwife-charged-with-malpractice-alice.html

[Anonymous]

Most people, not even DH of almost 30 years know the extent of my childhood trauma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the names of the major hotels and dollar amounts of the settlements paid out to female business travelers who have been raped in their rooms, sometimes by hotel employees. It almost happened to me in Chicago, twice. I wish I were kidding. When I told a friend of mine about it, she confided in me that her sister had signed an NDA in order to receive a settlement from the same major downtown business hotel in Chicago after she had been gang raped by 2 hotel employees.

How does it even happen?! Like, they randomly come into someone’s room?

My friend's sister (who was staying in the hotel on business and is a high powered attorney, in case anyone still believes this only happens to naive women) was cornered by 2 hotel employees when she went down the hall, in the daytime, to get ice from the ice machine. She was gang raped in that little room. They had lookouts posted. It was one of the Big 3 hotels in Chicago . She signed a NDA and got a settlement and has never been the same person. I found out about this after I stayed in the same hotel, on business, for a conference, and narrowly escaped being kidnapped by a "cab driver" parked out front. I told my friend about my experience and that's when she told me about her sister's experience.
Some rapists are organized.
The hotel industry blog Today's Hotelier writes that 40% of women traveling alone will experience sexual harassment or worse. Their conclusion - businesses should do more to protect their employees on the road. Hmm.

About 10 years ago I was staying by myself in a hotel. In the morning I went downstairs to grab some food from the breakfast bar, and quickly returned to my room with food. While I was quietly eating, I heard voices outside of my room. They didn't go away, and then I heard rustling noises, like they were beginning to mess with the door. I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. There was a cleaning lady, and a man standing behind her. The cleaning lady was opening the door, the man looked determined. The door opened, I was facing them with my arms crossed. They gaped for a moment, and the man began talking fast about being there for a repair. Sure, I believed him. Anyway, I sent them on their way. Now I'm super cautious about what I leave in a hotel room when I'm out.

While I suspect their intent was robbery, I can see how a rapist might get someone with keys to open the door for them. In my case, it sort of looked like the man had bullied a low level employee into opening the door. Obviously, they thought I was still downstairs at the breakfast bar.

So freakin scary!! Is one safe with the additional manual lock that is meant to prevent doors from opening? This is seriously creeping me out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people, not even DH of almost 30 years know the extent of my childhood trauma

May you be deeply loved and cherished in your life with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Between the ages of 9-11 I was a graffiti artist. I hung it up when we moved a few weeks before my 12 birthday. Was back at beginning if graffiti era. 1971 to 1973 in the Bronx.

My biggest I did a huge one on a big cement wall around 10 by 10 feet. I had my own tag.

I was respected enough people did not paint over my tag. I went back in 1982 and one of my big ones on Jerome Ave by 196st still there.

I did that at 330pm on a school day standing on milk crates with hundreds of people passing. Who would stop a 10 year old boy. I did the four train, broke into train yards, sometimes at midnight, was fun. I am amazed I was not abducted. Even more dangerous I stole all the paint!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sexually molested by an older neighborhood kid when I was like 8 or 9. Never have told a soul. It still messes up my sexuality to this day in middle age.

Thx for trusting us/the internet and may you find some healing it's still possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the names of the major hotels and dollar amounts of the settlements paid out to female business travelers who have been raped in their rooms, sometimes by hotel employees. It almost happened to me in Chicago, twice. I wish I were kidding. When I told a friend of mine about it, she confided in me that her sister had signed an NDA in order to receive a settlement from the same major downtown business hotel in Chicago after she had been gang raped by 2 hotel employees.

How does it even happen?! Like, they randomly come into someone’s room?

My friend's sister (who was staying in the hotel on business and is a high powered attorney, in case anyone still believes this only happens to naive women) was cornered by 2 hotel employees when she went down the hall, in the daytime, to get ice from the ice machine. She was gang raped in that little room. They had lookouts posted. It was one of the Big 3 hotels in Chicago . She signed a NDA and got a settlement and has never been the same person. I found out about this after I stayed in the same hotel, on business, for a conference, and narrowly escaped being kidnapped by a "cab driver" parked out front. I told my friend about my experience and that's when she told me about her sister's experience.
Some rapists are organized.
The hotel industry blog Today's Hotelier writes that 40% of women traveling alone will experience sexual harassment or worse. Their conclusion - businesses should do more to protect their employees on the road. Hmm.

About 10 years ago I was staying by myself in a hotel. In the morning I went downstairs to grab some food from the breakfast bar, and quickly returned to my room with food. While I was quietly eating, I heard voices outside of my room. They didn't go away, and then I heard rustling noises, like they were beginning to mess with the door. I walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. There was a cleaning lady, and a man standing behind her. The cleaning lady was opening the door, the man looked determined. The door opened, I was facing them with my arms crossed. They gaped for a moment, and the man began talking fast about being there for a repair. Sure, I believed him. Anyway, I sent them on their way. Now I'm super cautious about what I leave in a hotel room when I'm out.

While I suspect their intent was robbery, I can see how a rapist might get someone with keys to open the door for them. In my case, it sort of looked like the man had bullied a low level employee into opening the door. Obviously, they thought I was still downstairs at the breakfast bar.

I think they probably wanted to steal cash.
I always put a do not disturb sign on my door. For the night I chain lock it.

However nobody ever tried to mess with me, maybe I am just lucky.
Not even when I was younger and prettier.

[Anonymous]

Not many people know that a relative of mine died in horrible squalor, and let me just say no one was helping her with the hygiene. She was basically buried alive for many years and would not let anyone help her. It has traumatized her adult child who did not have the full picture until after she died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not many people know that a relative of mine died in horrible squalor, and let me just say no one was helping her with the hygiene. She was basically buried alive for many years and would not let anyone help her. It has traumatized her adult child who did not have the full picture until after she died.

this is truly an illness I can't comprehend. May those who suffer from it get the help they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 1973, when abortion was legal in only a couple of states (NY and CA if I recall correctly), I was a driver for women who needed to travel across country to obtain safe legal abortions in NYC. I picked them up in my car in Ohio on a Friday and we drove all night to NYC to a reputable doctor whose office was in the East 70's on the Upper East Side of NYC. (I still have the doctor's name, address and phone number written on the title page of my copy of the first edition of the book Our Bodies, Ourselves.) After the abortion, I stayed with them overnight in the apartment of a friend of mine who lived in the West Village, and then we drove back to Ohio all night so they could be be back in class Monday morning as if nothing had happened. It was safe and legal. It was a secret. I can't believe we are back to square one. I will do it again.

Wow. You were a Jane?

Yes.

Thank you for the risk you took. You’re a piece of living history.

Wut?

The risk of illegally helping someone terminate.

It wasn’t illegal, she drove them to a place it was legal. Still a cool thing to do, but not illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not many people know that a relative of mine died in horrible squalor, and let me just say no one was helping her with the hygiene. She was basically buried alive for many years and would not let anyone help her. It has traumatized her adult child who did not have the full picture until after she died.

I had a relative who died alone in his home. Apparently he had been dead for a few days before the police entered his home and found his body.

The last time I visited him I couldn't believe how he lived. He was a hoarder, and his home was filthy. It was very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP Oops here is my reply
You didn't sign an NDA; can you tell us more or go to a news source so everyone knows more? This is terrible and glad you are ok.

She's probably an attorney who knows this info through representing these hotels and would lose her law license if she went to the media.

BUT, those women may no longer be bound by those NDAs, as some states have made NDAs preventing disclosure of sexual assault non-binding against victiims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the names of the major hotels and dollar amounts of the settlements paid out to female business travelers who have been raped in their rooms, sometimes by hotel employees. It almost happened to me in Chicago, twice. I wish I were kidding. When I told a friend of mine about it, she confided in me that her sister had signed an NDA in order to receive a settlement from the same major downtown business hotel in Chicago after she had been gang raped by 2 hotel employees.

How does it even happen?! Like, they randomly come into someone’s room?!

My friend's sister (who was staying in the hotel on business and is a high powered attorney, in case anyone still believes this only happens to naive women) was cornered by 2 hotel employees when she went down the hall, in the daytime, to get ice from the ice machine. She was gang raped in that little room. They had lookouts posted. It was one of the Big 3 hotels in Chicago . She signed a NDA and got a settlement and has never been the same person. I found out about this after I stayed in the same hotel, on business, for a conference, and narrowly escaped being kidnapped by a "cab driver" parked out front. I told my friend about my experience and that's when she told me about her sister's experience.
Some rapists are organized.
The hotel industry blog Today's Hotelier writes that 40% of women traveling alone will experience sexual harassment or worse. Their conclusion - businesses should do more to protect their employees on the road. Hmm.

Like don't make us stay in the cheapest hotel, with sliding glass doors on the ground floor!

I wish such stats were public, that would make them clean up their act.

I know Trip Advisor got into trouble for deleting reviews that described rapes by employees, so now they leave them (google rape in some overseas hotels, like in Mexico).