Do you have to medicate ADHD?

[Anonymous]

My rising 3rd grade has been officially diagnosed (valid psycho education testing). The diagnosis feels right a long/time coming. Has anyone chosen not to medicate? Or to medicate, but wish you did it sooner? I am torn. I feel this is where we are heading and I am not opposed, just don't want to jump in so readily I don't ask questions and consider angles I should. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

For anything other than mild ADHD, the child is generally sufficiently impaired that it makes sense to medicate, but every situation is slightly different, so please think it through carefully.

Since DS was diagnosed when he was failing in school, the severe ADHD was already self-evident and we HAD to medicate him. He turned into a straight-A student 6 months later.

[Anonymous]

Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Of course you don't *have* medicate, but medication has made a world of difference, both academically and emotionally. Academically, he went from below grade level to on or above grade level when we started medicating (in 2nd grade). If we forgot to give a dose in the morning, his teachers notice right away because he's not able to complete his work, no matter how much he is trying. Emotionally, he's much better able to control his emotional impulsivity and able to use the strategies he's learning elsewhere to deal with frustration and inflexibility.

We started medicating soon after diagnosis, so I can't say that I wish we had started earlier. But for us, there would have been no advantage to starting later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

[Anonymous]

Everything I've read says medication and therapy together has the best outcome.

I started my son on meds right away, during the school year. I took him off this summer.

It's only my opinion, but being on the meds seems to calm his brain down enough that he is able to learn and maintain certain habits that he needs, particularly organizational habits. I've tried to teach some new habits/coping skills this summer, and he doesn't grasp them at all. I link that to being off the meds for the summer.

I'm starting him back on the meds this week, before school starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

My comment assumed the OP does not want to medicate if it is not really necessary. I find that many parents can be flexible enough at home to get by without medication if they decide the child is better off without it, like if they observe negative side effects, etc. However, to expect a child to succeed in a public school environment without medication is sometimes unreasonable. Negative side effects may still be observed but hopefully the doctor can tweak the dosage or type of medication until the most acceptable combination is reached.

[Anonymous]

Medication should come into play when the child is struggling academically, socially or emotionally.

Medication often allows the opportunity to develop and teach the skills and strategies your child will use after the meds wear off or once they are no longer as effective.

Medication should be considered f your child struggles to make or maintain friends, is down on themselves due to their perceived or actual deficits, is falling behind or underachieving academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

Even if a child can succeed in school without medication, there may still be major benefits to medicating him or her. I have inattentive AS HE & was not medicated growing up. I did very well in school but really suffered emotionally because of my symptoms & my self esteem took a major hit. Looking back, my childhood & teenage years would likely have been a lot happier & I almost certainly would have entered adulthood with a lot more self confidence had I been medicated. My day-to-day life is so much less frustrating now that I am taking Adderall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

My comment assumed the OP does not want to medicate if it is not really necessary. I find that many parents can be flexible enough at home to get by without medication if they decide the child is better off without it, like if they observe negative side effects, etc. However, to expect a child to succeed in a public school environment without medication is sometimes unreasonable. Negative side effects may still be observed but hopefully the doctor can tweak the dosage or type of medication until the most acceptable combination is reached.

I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's still an ignorant position for which no educated person should be advocating. ADHD does not just affect how a child does in school, it also affects their home life (even if the parents are "flexible"), their engagement in hobbies and extracurriculars, their socialization, etc., and all of those things can affect a child's wellbeing; a child who's on grade level at school but has no friends and doesn't develop their skills at things they enjoy probably isn't all that happy. Further, being "flexible" at home isn't necessarily a good choice for the long-run, because it doesn't set the child up with the tools and skills they will need to manage on their own as an adult, and especially not to have a functional relationship with a live-in partner. Yes, flexibility is important, but it needs to be flexibility in how your child takes care of their responsibilities, not whether they take care of their responsibilities, and even your child doesn't have the tools they need to take care of their responsibilities, all the flexibility in the world won't help. Finally, a child can be doing fine at school, not behind academically or having behavioral issues, but still not be working up to their potential. Kids are remarkably self-aware, they know when the work they're producing doesn't reflect what's in their head, and that inability to produce the work you feel you should be capable of doing can be damaging to self-esteem and educational engagement.

Whether to medicate or not is a decision parents have to make for their own child, and I will not presume to tell people what to do (although I will share our experience when asked). But parents need to have an informed basis for making that decision, including all of the considerations. Cursory treatment such as you advocated impairs good decision-making, and ultimately hurts kids.

[Anonymous]

Adult with ADHD here. I have posted before. I was diagnosed in the early '80's when it was pretty unusual. They tried Ritalin with me when I was 6 and it didn't work (not as many options then). I ended up going on different meds in high school, starting around 10th grade and for much of college. I was off for a while, then on at the end of grad school, then off, then on when I was struggling at work. I ended up stopping meds in 2010 when I started trying to get pregnant and have not been on again since. However, I have to work very hard at work and at home nad use mindfulness, exercise and recently supplements to help. That said I am probably still going to explore starting meds again soon. All of this is to say that meds are not always a one-time permanent decision (although they certainly can be). My daughter is in the process of being diagnosed (and I'm pretty sure she will be) with ADHD. If I see her struggling at school and socially and at home a lot, we will explore medication. I know that I probably could not have gotten through high school and a selective liberal arts college without it. That said, I think just as kids grow and change their need for medication (or lack of need) can change. I agree with a lot of what is said here, and I do think that the right meds can be life-changing. That does not mean they are ALWAYS needed all of the time--and the needs and situations will change at different life stages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

My comment assumed the OP does not want to medicate if it is not really necessary. I find that many parents can be flexible enough at home to get by without medication if they decide the child is better off without it, like if they observe negative side effects, etc. However, to expect a child to succeed in a public school environment without medication is sometimes unreasonable. Negative side effects may still be observed but hopefully the doctor can tweak the dosage or type of medication until the most acceptable combination is reached.

NP here. You need to step away from the keyboard. The first PP's post has triggered something in you that is causing you to read a lot more into her post than what's there and responding to what's not there. Feel free to post your own experience but stop trying to diminish her opinion.
I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's still an ignorant position for which no educated person should be advocating. ADHD does not just affect how a child does in school, it also affects their home life (even if the parents are "flexible"), their engagement in hobbies and extracurriculars, their socialization, etc., and all of those things can affect a child's wellbeing; a child who's on grade level at school but has no friends and doesn't develop their skills at things they enjoy probably isn't all that happy. Further, being "flexible" at home isn't necessarily a good choice for the long-run, because it doesn't set the child up with the tools and skills they will need to manage on their own as an adult, and especially not to have a functional relationship with a live-in partner. Yes, flexibility is important, but it needs to be flexibility in how your child takes care of their responsibilities, not whether they take care of their responsibilities, and even your child doesn't have the tools they need to take care of their responsibilities, all the flexibility in the world won't help. Finally, a child can be doing fine at school, not behind academically or having behavioral issues, but still not be working up to their potential. Kids are remarkably self-aware, they know when the work they're producing doesn't reflect what's in their head, and that inability to produce the work you feel you should be capable of doing can be damaging to self-esteem and educational engagement.

Whether to medicate or not is a decision parents have to make for their own child, and I will not presume to tell people what to do (although I will share our experience when asked). But parents need to have an informed basis for making that decision, including all of the considerations. Cursory treatment such as you advocated impairs good decision-making, and ultimately hurts kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

My comment assumed the OP does not want to medicate if it is not really necessary. I find that many parents can be flexible enough at home to get by without medication if they decide the child is better off without it, like if they observe negative side effects, etc. However, to expect a child to succeed in a public school environment without medication is sometimes unreasonable. Negative side effects may still be observed but hopefully the doctor can tweak the dosage or type of medication until the most acceptable combination is reached.

I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's still an ignorant position for which no educated person should be advocating. ADHD does not just affect how a child does in school, it also affects their home life (even if the parents are "flexible"), their engagement in hobbies and extracurriculars, their socialization, etc., and all of those things can affect a child's wellbeing; a child who's on grade level at school but has no friends and doesn't develop their skills at things they enjoy probably isn't all that happy. Further, being "flexible" at home isn't necessarily a good choice for the long-run, because it doesn't set the child up with the tools and skills they will need to manage on their own as an adult, and especially not to have a functional relationship with a live-in partner. Yes, flexibility is important, but it needs to be flexibility in how your child takes care of their responsibilities, not whether they take care of their responsibilities, and even your child doesn't have the tools they need to take care of their responsibilities, all the flexibility in the world won't help. Finally, a child can be doing fine at school, not behind academically or having behavioral issues, but still not be working up to their potential. Kids are remarkably self-aware, they know when the work they're producing doesn't reflect what's in their head, and that inability to produce the work you feel you should be capable of doing can be damaging to self-esteem and educational engagement.

Whether to medicate or not is a decision parents have to make for their own child, and I will not presume to tell people what to do (although I will share our experience when asked). But parents need to have an informed basis for making that decision, including all of the considerations. Cursory treatment such as you advocated impairs good decision-making, and ultimately hurts kids.

NP here. You need to step away from the keyboard. The first PP's post has triggered something in you that is causing you to read a lot more into her post than what's there and responding to what's not there. Feel free to post your own experience but stop trying to diminish her opinion.

[Anonymous]

We medicated our child starting in middle school, when ADHD started affecting DCs self esteem.

On the one hand, I wish we'd started a bit earlier. My DC spent much of middle school having to learn social and academic skills (already harder for DC) while also adjusting to middle school.

On the other hand, I'm glad we waited. DC didn't want to be medicated, but agreed it was worth trying when we started. DC does not want to take medication forever, and is working hard to learn how to function better both with and without medication. DC took this summer off of medication and did quite well, though intends to begin taking it again when High School begins.

I think it's easier to medicate a cooperative child. DC was not receptive to the idea of medication when first diagnosed. Waiting worked better for this.
I think the skill gap where ADHD kids are not learning things other kids are is larger than we anticipated. Fortunately, DC is catching up, but it's a bigger load than we anticipated and I wish DC weren't heading into High School with me still concerned about some areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working with sp ed students, I would say if your child can be successful in school without medication then by all means do not medicate. However, if they cannot be successful, or struggle a whole lot, then trying medication is a good idea.

School is not the be-all and end-all of a child's life, and school performance should not be the only factor considered in deciding how to treat ADHD.

When our child was diagnosed, I was reluctant to jump right into medication despite the fact that I have it as well and take medication that's highly effective for me. It wasn't a rational decision to wait, it was all anxiety/emotion. We made it almost a month after diagnosis, starting OT and making other recommended changes to help him develop new habits. It was awful for him, we were basically asking even more of him than we were before with all of the new habits and routines, but giving him no better tools to actually do any of it. He would try so hard all day, and then just break down in a sobbing inconsolable mess because his brain was so tired and he was so frustrated. Starting medication was amazing for him, he didn't become a different kid, but all of the good in him that had previously been obscured by the ADHD came through. He was so much happier, he actually thanked me one evening for taking him to the doctor to start medication because, as he put it, "Now I can do everything I want to do and have fun without my behavior getting in the way."

My comment assumed the OP does not want to medicate if it is not really necessary. I find that many parents can be flexible enough at home to get by without medication if they decide the child is better off without it, like if they observe negative side effects, etc. However, to expect a child to succeed in a public school environment without medication is sometimes unreasonable. Negative side effects may still be observed but hopefully the doctor can tweak the dosage or type of medication until the most acceptable combination is reached.

I know exactly where you're coming from, and it's still an ignorant position for which no educated person should be advocating. ADHD does not just affect how a child does in school, it also affects their home life (even if the parents are "flexible"), their engagement in hobbies and extracurriculars, their socialization, etc., and all of those things can affect a child's wellbeing; a child who's on grade level at school but has no friends and doesn't develop their skills at things they enjoy probably isn't all that happy. Further, being "flexible" at home isn't necessarily a good choice for the long-run, because it doesn't set the child up with the tools and skills they will need to manage on their own as an adult, and especially not to have a functional relationship with a live-in partner. Yes, flexibility is important, but it needs to be flexibility in how your child takes care of their responsibilities, not whether they take care of their responsibilities, and even your child doesn't have the tools they need to take care of their responsibilities, all the flexibility in the world won't help. Finally, a child can be doing fine at school, not behind academically or having behavioral issues, but still not be working up to their potential. Kids are remarkably self-aware, they know when the work they're producing doesn't reflect what's in their head, and that inability to produce the work you feel you should be capable of doing can be damaging to self-esteem and educational engagement.

Whether to medicate or not is a decision parents have to make for their own child, and I will not presume to tell people what to do (although I will share our experience when asked). But parents need to have an informed basis for making that decision, including all of the considerations. Cursory treatment such as you advocated impairs good decision-making, and ultimately hurts kids.

NP here. You need to step away from the keyboard. The first PP's post has triggered something in you that is causing you to read a lot more into her post than what's there and responding to what's not there. Feel free to post your own experience but stop trying to diminish her opinion.

You put your opinion out there, you open it up for disagreement. That it is your opinion does not inherently make it right, and providing additional facts considerations and analysis shouldn't be threatening. If the person I'm responding to would like to come back and respond to me in detail, I'd be happy to consider their position and have a discussion.