How to help- dying BIL
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Anonymous
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My sister lives half way across the country and her husband had an unexpected medical problem with a very bad prognosis. There is a very real chance he will not make it through the next few days. They have 2 children (8 and 13)
What can I possibly do to help support them emotionally? Now and if he passes away? Are there any book suggestions for them? My kids? My sister? If you have any concrete advise please share. |
Anonymous
| Go there. Make sure your sister eats. Love the kids. Be with them. |
Anonymous
| Agree with pp. Can you get out there to help? |
Anonymous
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Agree with PP, go there. do everything around the house, with the kids, lift all the burdens.
Books will come way later if this is a few days of an issue. I am so sorry. |
Anonymous
| So sorry OP. Agree with advice to go there if there is any way at all to do so |
Anonymous
| Go there and take care of the kids and house. Sending books and things isn't helpful right now. |
Anonymous
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What is his medical condition? There are organizations that can help, too.
Sorry, OP. |
Anonymous
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If you can, get there. Stay nearby, maybe not with them?
I'd need help with laundry, shopping, errands. I'd really appreciate it if you could help with the kids and keeping their schedule - driving them to appointments, friend's houses, even taking them swimming or something else fun. Could you help secure hospice care? Arrange a cleaning service? Figure out meals? Cook? Initiate a meal train? |
Anonymous
| I would help with the funeral arrangements. |
Anonymous
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I agree about going if you can.
You could help with communication. Contacting friends, former classmates, former colleagues, extended family, etc. with news is a huge job. Your sister will be emotionally exhausted and it'll be hard for her to keep up - either to let people know what she needs or to spread the word about BIL's sickness or (if he doesn't survive and there is a funeral or other gathering/ceremony) the details of the service. |
Anonymous
| I recommend "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner. |
Anonymous
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Being there to sit with her in the hospital would be great, as would helping out with housework, pets, kids.
Not much you can do from here other than calls and texts. She's not going to read anything right now. |
Anonymous
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Shorty of a 100% chance of being fired from your job, you need to go there. Be there for her and the kids. Okay interference for unnecessary contacts. Keep the house going.
I'm sorry, op. This sounds devastatingly sad. |
Anonymous
Even with a 100% chance of being fired, you go. Who wants to work for a company that would fire you for that? When my dad was dying I made that choice and they did fire me. I was actually thankful to not have anything pulling me back home while dealing with the immediate situation. |
Anonymous
Hes not dead yet. |