Should I force DC to spend time with MIL?

[Anonymous]

MIL wants to babysit DC who is 8. DC doesn't want to be sit with MIL. DH wants his mother to spend time with DC while he doesn't have much of a relationship with her himself.

Should I make DC do it against her will?

P.S. MIL is not terrible, just doesn't know how to connect with people.

[Anonymous]

P.S. We have childcare options so that is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

How will he get a relationship with her if you won't let her spend time with him?

[Anonymous]

Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will he get a relationship with her if you won't let her spend time with him?

She has babysat DC before on many occasions, week at a time, but not regularly, not every month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

[Anonymous]

You should encourage them to spend time together, but it doesn't have to be babysitting. Have DH plan an outing for the whole family, or just he, DD and MIL. I wouldn't force a child to be alone with or supervised by someone they dont like if it isn't necessary. Not to imply that your MIL is an unfit caregiver, just that there are lots of ways to spend time together without it having to be MIL babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Babysit NO. Seeing her grandchild YES

No one is obligated to allow another person to babysit without the parent there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babysit NO. Seeing her grandchild YES

No one is obligated to allow another person to babysit without the parent there.

x100000

I have heard of really (really) obnoxious MILs saying "I am here to see the baby, not you!" to an exhausted new mom friend who said nothing to the MIL. Your child, your rules, OP.

[Anonymous]

I'd never force my child to spend time with my MIL if the child didn't want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

Um, fostering a relationship with a grandparent? Are you that dim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

Um, fostering a relationship with a grandparent? Are you that dim?

Forcing a relationship. It doesn't work unless you're aiming for Stokholm syndrom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids often don't want to eat their vegetables but we make them do it because it's good for them.

Same concept here.

how is this good for them? DC is 8

Um, fostering a relationship with a grandparent? Are you that dim?

Forcing a relationship. It doesn't work unless you're aiming for Stokholm syndrom

I will take your input seriously when you learn how to spell that of which you speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL wants to babysit DC who is 8. DC doesn't want to be sit with MIL. DH wants his mother to spend time with DC while he doesn't have much of a relationship with her himself.

Should I make DC do it against her will?

P.S. MIL is not terrible, just doesn't know how to connect with people.

She should spend time with her grandmother, but children shouldn't be left alone with adults they're not comfortable with. I'm surprised your DH would push this given his lack of relationship with her, unless this is a selfish way to give his mom access to your child without having to spend time with her himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should encourage them to spend time together, but it doesn't have to be babysitting. Have DH plan an outing for the whole family, or just he, DD and MIL. I wouldn't force a child to be alone with or supervised by someone they dont like if it isn't necessary. Not to imply that your MIL is an unfit caregiver, just that there are lots of ways to spend time together without it having to be MIL babysitting.

+1