Mom has dementia, her sister moved into town to take advantage of her
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Anonymous
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My mom and her sister - Aunt B- have been estranged for years.
My mom and our family have provided Aunt B financial support over the years (paid rents for months, dental work, other surgeries, lump sums for whatever). 7 years ago, Aunt B told my mom that she hated her, always had, and was just around to get what she could from her. This was very painful for my mom. Now, Mom is in a nice assisted living facility in the same town as me. Mom has frontal temporal dementia and her decision making skills are very compromised. Aunt B moved from across the country to be with her "sister." My mom and Aunt B are car shopping, shopping for homes, beach property, talking about buying Aunt B a trailer, paying for Aunt B's dog's vet care, etc. I have POA, guardianship, so no property or car transactions have taken place (but I think there is a secret bank account which I am researching). I believe Aunt B may be trying to assert she is some kind of caretaker, even though mom is in assisted living (Sunrise) and we have also hired a caregiver for the weekdays from 10 to 5. Mom was integrating into her community and pretty happy before Aunt B arrived. Now she is scheming about purchases and waiting around for Aunt B (who sleeps a lot), and now she feels the facility is no up to her standards. She is no longer doing the facility activities and seems much more anxious. How do we protect mom from Aunt B? |
Anonymous
| Wow. figure out this bank account ASAP and make sure your POP and guardianship is lock tight! |
Anonymous
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Honestly your situation doesn't sound as dire as some families where no POA or guardianship exists. If there was a secret bank account, and Aunt B drained it, would it be that big of a deal? You would still have control over the rest, correct? |
Anonymous
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Do you have 100% control of your mom's money? How can your mom pay for the dog's bills?
Can't you run a credit report on your mom? |
Anonymous
| You can take on order of protection out against your aunt. |
Anonymous
| Op here: how does the order of protection work and how long does it take? Is it a restraining order? |
Anonymous
| Do you have legal guardianship through the court? If not, that is what you need to do. A POA makes no sense. I'd do a credit check but it would be very hard to find accounts in less you go through your mom's stuff and she has paper statements. |
Anonymous
| If aunt B and mom were estranged for years, why was your mom giving her money (you cited rent, dental)? |
Anonymous
Did you miss the part about the mom having dementia?? |
Anonymous
| The AS staff can be helpful. Talk to them. But don't sound like the crazy one. They will not want your aunt around too often - it's more work, more craziness for them. |
Anonymous
| Are you sure your mom has frontal temporal dementia. This does not sound like it. |
Anonymous
| Frontal temporal dementia goes very very quickly and first thing to go is emotions. Very flat expressions. Would not care about aunt B or anyone buying things-not in their disease state. Make sure she has correct diagnosis. Johns Hopkins has a great diagnostic facility. |
Anonymous
| She add that my mom was misdiagnosed. She has bipolar disorder with psychosis. She is now on medication that has been life changing. Elderly with violating will still need help and can benefit from assisted living but have way more hope. We had no idea as a lot of doctors throw out the FTD diagnosis when they are stumped. Now I realize there are differences. People with FTD get very heavy because of manic eating including attempting to eat non food things. They also spiral quickly some in a matter of two years pass. Later stages have more in common with Alzheimer's with memory issues. They also have a very flat affect and can come across as insensitive with feelings. If I am to lslistrn to your description of your mom this does not sound like FTD. Finally how old is your mom as this hits early. |
Anonymous
| With bi polar (sorry autocorrect) |
Anonymous
| Talk to the assisted living heads. Maybe they have experience with this and can give you instances on what others have done. |