Dating 101
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Anonymous
| From a different culture, so please bear with this question, if I sound like being from another planet altogether. I have read here and elsewhere that the going trend is to be in bed with your dating partner by the third or so date, or there's something wrong you. Similarly, it seems to be fashionable to have APs and ONSs during business trips and other opportunities. The question in all this is how do you ensure safe intimacy with a 3-date-old or less stranger, without a worry about STDs etc.? Seems too early to ask for your partner's test results. I get that condoms are the way to go for the final act, but what's a safe way to fulfill the high expectations of oral preludes so as not risk being dumped for not being good in bed? Enquiring minds want to know. |
Anonymous
| Please ignore what you read on this site, this does not represent the dating norm at all. It's just a bunch of losers who live in their mom's basements giving horrible advice. You're better off on Reddit. |
Anonymous
I agree with this completely. Please do not listen to the advice from here. You will know what to do. You are not from another planet. You are a human being and we are not that different. The first rule I have is to know who I am as a person. Not silly little rules like I like dark hair or buff men, but like I will not compromise on unkind, rude, etc. behavior. Some things are deal breakers. If you know who you are at your core, it's much easier to recognize that in a potential partner. Then you have to know if you are just looking for fun, a fling or are you looking for a serious relationship. At one point or another in my life I was looking for any one of those. Then just be genuine, be who you are and enjoy the experience. That's all. Don't make it a chore. I still laugh about the horrendous dates I had. |
Anonymous
I too agree with this advice. Just go with what you think is appropriate and ignore what appear to be "rules". Plenty of nice people out there that will understand what's normal to you (and if they don't, dump them!) |
Anonymous
| There are no rules, just do what you feel comfortable with. It's your body, no one else's. |
Anonymous
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I dated my last boyfriend (who became my husband) for about six MONTHS before being with him.
And I travel all the time for work and have never had a ONS. |
Anonymous
| There is no "3 date rule." Most people don't have specific timelines like that. |
Anonymous
| This country is very diverse and the Washington DC Metropolitan Area is among the most diverse areas in the country, so even if you are from a different culture there is a very strong likelihood that there is a nice sized population of men in the local area who share the same cultural traditions and practices with regard to courtship as you. You don't HAVE to date someone with high expectations you don't HAVE to adjust your values and preferences to accommodate the guy you're dating you can instead date someone who has reasonable expectations and respects your values and preferences. Don't just date a guy you like, date a guy you like that likes you for you. |
Anonymous
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I think if 3 dates is too early to ask someone to take a blood test, then it's too early to have sex with them. No test, no action, after 3 dates or 12 dates or 20 dates.
Just do what is comfortable for you, OP. Other people's standards, including mine, don't have to be right for you. |