if you find out something about your friend's child ...

[Anonymous]

I heard through a secondhand source that the teen child of a dear friend is involved in something dangerous to said child (think along the lines of regular, not occasional, drug use). Would you tell your friend what you heard? I do not want to stick my nose where it does not belong, and I fully admit I heard this secondhand, BUT if true it is serious enough that I feel that I should let me friend know. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes. Tell her!

[Anonymous]

If my child was abusing drugs and my dear friend knew (or heard) about it and didn't tell me, she would no longer be my dear friend. Address with tact per above, don't keep it from his mother.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know!!

I'd want to get the kid help asap.

[Anonymous]

Send an anonymous typed letter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

Absolute perfection.

Due to the stigma of drugs, there's always a concern that other parents will judge them as being bad or negligent parents when their children are using drugs, so they can sometimes be defensive to "the messenger".

The above statement makes absolutely no judgements, it comes across as empathetic, caring & genuine.

I hope all works out with your friends child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

I like this approach.

OP, the only thing I will add is if parents know it and are either in denial or struggling helplessly with if, their response may not be great. However, do this because it's the right thing to do. If a kid is struggling or trapped, we all need to help, and that means letting the parents know.

[Anonymous]

Unless you have some corroborating information, I would not say anything. If it is not true, you may look like a noseybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have some corroborating information, I would not say anything. If it is not true, you may look like a noseybody.

-100 . If this were your child in question, would you not want to know, if only to follow up and keep a sharper eye on things? Parents can be utterly clueless about what their very own children are doing, and sometimes only find out when a other parent lets them know. Use of illicit drugs is a very big, potentially deadly, issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have some corroborating information, I would not say anything. If it is not true, you may look like a noseybody.

-100 . If this were your child in question, would you not want to know, if only to follow up and keep a sharper eye on things? Parents can be utterly clueless about what their very own children are doing, and sometimes only find out when a other parent lets them know. Use of illicit drugs is a very big, potentially deadly, issue.

Right. I would much rather be wrong than have my friend's kid get hurt or end up dead from an overdose. This is *not* even debatable. Be tactful, but say something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have some corroborating information, I would not say anything. If it is not true, you may look like a noseybody.

-100 . If this were your child in question, would you not want to know, if only to follow up and keep a sharper eye on things? Parents can be utterly clueless about what their very own children are doing, and sometimes only find out when a other parent lets them know. Use of illicit drugs is a very big, potentially deadly, issue.

Not to mention, if this is untrue and being spread about her child, she probably would want to know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

My kids are still young, but I kind of want to save this somewhere until they're older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. You can address this with tact and grace.

"Sarah, I know that sometimes the grapevine is not reliable, but I heard something that related to Beth's safety and well-being. I heard that she may [insert details here.] I hope this is not true, and of course I would never repeat this to anyone, but in the interest of her safety, I wanted you to know."

I like this approach.

OP, the only thing I will add is if parents know it and are either in denial or struggling helplessly with if, their response may not be great. However, do this because it's the right thing to do. If a kid is struggling or trapped, we all need to help, and that means letting the parents know.

This.