Alarm bells?

[Anonymous]

If a guy had been married once and had three kids then divorced. Then 3 years later remarried and had another kid and left that woman (No marriage), now he is onto relationship number 3 with my friend who is 14 years his junior and who I know wants kids. They just got engaged after knowing each other less than a year.

[Anonymous]

sounds like he knows how to bed a woman quite well

[Anonymous]

Red flags, alarms bells and hair on fire.

[Anonymous]

The alarm bell that's ringing is "why do you care since this is none of your business?"

[Anonymous]

As she is my best friend and I think she is rushing into it. She seems to have got swept up in the romance of it all. I know it is her life and her decision to make but I worry for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The alarm bell that's ringing is "why do you care since this is none of your business?"

NP. Because giving perspective is sometimes what friends are for.

[Anonymous]

She'll likely get at least get one kid out of the relationship before he leaves her. You say she wants kids.

Some women can't be helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a guy had been married once and had three kids then divorced. Then 3 years later remarried and had another kid and left that woman (No marriage), now he is onto relationship number 3 with my friend who is 14 years his junior and who I know wants kids. They just got engaged after knowing each other less than a year.

I’m confused. For woman no. 2 you said he remarried and then you said there was no marriage?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I was getting confused with it all. To clarify-

1st woman-Married, 3 children
2nd woman-Not married, 1 child.
3rd woman-(My friend) About to be married, no kids as yet but both want one.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's really good at romancing women and bad at staying with them. If your friend is ok ending up a single mother, then she's on the right path.

[Anonymous]

How responsible has he been with maintaining relationships with all the kids and helping to support them financially? Will there be financial and/or logistical strains after he marries your friend and has a child with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's really good at romancing women and bad at staying with them. If your friend is ok ending up a single mother, then she's on the right path.

+1 Sounds awful. Have never understood the women who believe they can "change" such men. Good luck to her. She'll need it.

[Anonymous]

Is he fully supporting the previous children and participating in their life? That would be the deciding factor IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he fully supporting the previous children and participating in their life? That would be the deciding factor IMO.

He does seem to but this is one of the few consolations right now. I know it is her choice but she just seems blinded by love and I don't think she is thinking it through properly, it all seems so rushed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he fully supporting the previous children and participating in their life? That would be the deciding factor IMO.

He does seem to but this is one of the few consolations right now. I know it is her choice but she just seems blinded by love and I don't think she is thinking it through properly, it all seems so rushed

A year is not rushing it. Your friend is an adult and has to make her own decisions. She obviously knows his track record so all you can do as a friend is express your reservations and wish her well.