Did you buy a house you didn't love?

[Anonymous]

DH and I are close to buying a house that we both only "like" a lot and because it fits almost all of our criteria and our price range. Granted, our price range isn't so high that we really will find something that suits our tastes to a T, but there's always wishful thinking.

So scary to sign on the dotted line.

Did you buy a house you didn't love? Did you learn to love it? Or do you live in regret?

[Anonymous]

Every house I have ever walked into and fallen in love with my DH has hated. Every house we bought has been a compromise (we are on our third). Over time, you make changes to make it fit you. In our starter house, that was changing some paint colors, landscaping and minor upgrades to the kitchen. In our current house, we changed everything and added on. Now we both love our house. A friend of mine who built his last two houses new said even that doesn't get you everything you want. You are happy with it when it is first done, but then you see something else you wish you had thought of so you slowly get unhappy with it over time!

[Anonymous]

I didn't love the first house we bought, but my husband did. I wouldn't say that I ever grew to LOVE it. I liked it well enough and we did a lot of work on it so it felt like home and I was proud of it.

[Anonymous]

We bought a house we didn't love in 1999, when the market was in a buying frenzy. We knew we wouldn't stay long and in that market, it turned out to be a great investment. We had lots of appreciation in the 3 yrs we owned it and that equity enabled us to afford our "real" house where we plan to raise our family. I never loved that first house, but I got used to it and I have many happy memories of our time there.

The factors I mentioned above (not staying long + ridiculously high appreciation) would play out very differently in the current market. How long have you been looking -- are you sure this is the best there is in your price range, or is there a chance that you will fall in love with something in your price range if you keep looking? Will you be in this house for a long time, or do you think there's a chance you'll be able to upgrade in a few years? If so, what would be the resale prospects for this house in a few years? Can you do some cost-effective improvements that would give you a good return when you sell? What is it about the house that you don't love? Some things about a house can be changed - easily or expensively - and others can't be changed at all.

Buying a house is a little scary even if you do love the house, so part of your fear I think is just normal homebuyers' fear.

[Anonymous]

I didn't love our house, exactly, but I loved its location (for its neighborhood, our commute, access to green space, shopping) and its school zone. We knew we would have been priced out of the houses we would really love in terms of architecture and size of yard. So far we've been very happy in it.

[Anonymous]

Depends on what it is you didn't love, and where you are in your homebuying career. Paint, countertops and ugly bathroom tile can be easily changed, as can scraggly yards and some storage space issues. But you can't improve your way off a busy street or change the fact that the house is too fancy for an otherwise run-down neighborhood. And those things will matter not just to you, but also to prospective buyers when it comes time to sell.

How long will you be there? No one gets their dream home the first time around -- as you've discovered, you can't buy Champagne on a Pabst Blue Ribbon budget. But I also wouldn't want to step up to a forever home I felt just "meh" about.

[Anonymous]

Yes but we have competely flipped in our opinion. We didn't love the house but loved the neighborhood (quiet, private, very big lots, no busy streets or through streets) and the big yard. I really like the house and after having to clean it would not want a bigger house.

One thing to look at with caution though is assuming you will or could do big renovations. DH and I used to talk about building out the garage to make a larger kitchen and building out the second floor over the garage to make larger bedrooms and a larger bath for the kids. Now it just does not seem worth the expense. I'm not a gourmet cook and the kids can cope with not have huge rooms IMO. If the market goes way up again and the trend continues to be bigger houses so it could help with resale down the road maybe but if not we'll just deal. The trend seems to be now for smaller houses which will help those in houses built pre 90s that do not have soaring great rooms and big open floor plans.

[Anonymous]

We love our house, but definitely had to compromise on some things. It was our first home purchase, and we were in our late 20s, so we were not expecting this house to be the one we would end up in forever, ideally.

The thing we decided we absolutely would not compromise on is location. I know too many people who commute 90 minutes each way to work. There is nothing wrong with that if you don't mind it, but having a good commute was absolutely my top priority. So, we were able to find something in our preferred location range, in a great neighborhood, within walking distance to a metro (we are still a one car family because of that).

We were also able to do a single family home, and not a townhouse, which was our next priority (though we did look at a townhouse and would have considered one, it was not our first choice.)

Finally, we were able to find a 3 bedroom that didn't need work - had a new kitchen and a finished basement. Also beautiful wood floors, as I'm not a big carpet lover.

We did compromise on: no master bathroom, very outdated bathroom decor from the 1940s (think pink and black tiles), and our kitchen is a decent size but it's not the big, open kitchen of my dreams. Our first major renovation - which we hope to do this spring, is extend/double the size of our kitchen. Also, we have a screened in porch but I would love a deck one day.

For us, we would have been happy to stay in the house for 5 years - that was as long as we were willing to plan. Again, this was pre-kids so were more carefree!

[Anonymous]

I love our location.

There are days I love my house and there are days, I am tempted to call someone with a bulldozer to tear the freaking house down. Overall you have to figure out what are "wishes" and what are "cannot live withouts".

For example, I'd love bigger closets, nicer bathrooms and a large finished walk-out basement. Oh - and a larger kitchen.

But I could not live without location, a decent sized yard, and two full bathrooms.

Also look for things you cannot change and put your priority into finding the "Right" things for those things. For example, you can upgrade many things in a house. But You can't change location, or the neighborhood (pedestrian friendly, safe or not). If you have a small lot, you can only expand a house so far (our kitchen will never be larger unless I can live without a living room).

[Anonymous]

I only "like" the townhouse we live in, but I LOVE the location and the price we paid for it so that is the tradeoff.

[Anonymous]

I really don't like our small house with a crappy yard at all. But I appreciate the fact that we bought within our price range and do not have the feeling of being pinched at the end of each month. And the location is fantastic.

[Anonymous]

We have loved all three of our houses before buying (and afterwards). We are glad we never compromised, but we have spent some time in furnished rentals with stuff in storage, waiting for that "aha" moment. Glad we did.

[Anonymous]

You are in a better negotiating position if you don't love the house. You won't feel invested in it and can walk away. So that's a plus.

[Anonymous]

We didn't love our house, but we love the appreciation in market value. It was one of our best investments.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't at all thrilled with our first home. It was really small (1,000 sq. ft.), built in the 1950's, needed lots of updating, in a older, somewhat crappy and run down neighborhood.

After doing a ton of work to the house - new siding, windows, roof, bathroom, refinished basement, front porch, landscaping - I ended up loving that house and it felt like an extension of our family.

However, I never, ever, ever liked that neighborhood. We never fit in -- there were only a handful of families with young children and of those, none of them had duel incomes (to be honest, I used to feel weird driving my German sports car through the neighborhood.) We were both embarrassed by the houses on our street and in the 5 years we lived there, we never had one party or had anyone other than immediate family and close friends over.

We are now in a beautiful and large home and I can tell you that in retrospect, I miss that tiny little house with it's tiny little mortgage. There is a lot to be said about affordability, especially in this current financial environment.