Are sisters entitled to share clothes?

[Anonymous]

I have 3 DDs. One is 20 the other two are 18 and 16. The younger two share clothes and makeup with each other. They're upset at the oldest one for not wanting to share her things with them and call her selfish and mean. Should she be expected to loan her clothes to her sisters?

[Anonymous]

I would think that, at those ages, they can and should figure this out for themselves without your intervention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 DDs. One is 20 the other two are 18 and 16. The younger two share clothes and makeup with each other. They're upset at the oldest one for not wanting to share her things with them and call her selfish and mean. Should she be expected to loan her clothes to her sisters?

No she shouldn't. Its hers to use as she sees fit. On the other hand, if she expects the younger siblings to share their clothes when she doesn't share hers - that's mean.

[Anonymous]

Does the older sister have a job and purchase her own clothes?

Or do you give each child a budget to purchase clothes?

Or do you just give them free access to credit card?

[Anonymous]

Of course they're not entitled to share clothes. I'm surprised you even had to ask this and didn't immediately sit the younger two down to tell them they were acting like entitled brats.

[Anonymous]

No. Is everything each of them has something another can just take because they want it?

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

It is great that the young ones have that relationship.

[Anonymous]

If you have bought her formal dresses and the younger ones want to borrow, then yes, they should be able to. Unless you want to buy the younger ones brand new everything, which is fine too. Source: youngest of three girls who would have loved all new stuff.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely force her to share. That will really solidify a strong bond with her sisters.
Ask me how I know this.

[Anonymous]

1. The clothes owner gets to choose. If you bought them clothes, you have to say in advance that they are meant to be shared. Otherwise it's a gift to that particular child.

2. You must never force someone to share, even though it's nice when they do.

[Anonymous]

At 20, she's an adult and moving forward in her independence. Even if she lives with you, she needs that separation.

[Anonymous]

Yes she should share. But her sisters should replace something if they ruin it.

They should ask 1st, not just take it.

It's okay for her to have some things she doesn't share but not in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes she should share. But her sisters should replace something if they ruin it.

They should ask 1st, not just take it.

It's okay for her to have some things she doesn't share but not in general.

What? That's crazy. It's nice that the other two share, but no one should feel obliged. Especially if she's purchased things with her own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have bought her formal dresses and the younger ones want to borrow, then yes, they should be able to. Unless you want to buy the younger ones brand new everything, which is fine too. Source: youngest of three girls who would have loved all new stuff.

Then it should be clear that OP isn't buying the formal dress just for her oldest, that it's for everyone to use.

[Anonymous]

No, they are her clothes. If the other two want to share that's great. They are old enough to make their own decisions as well as respect the decisions of others.