Grieving my prebaby life and it's been 17 months since birth

[Anonymous]

I used to travel a lot for work before the baby came. We moved from dc to a college town while I was pregnant and I catch myself grieving my old life. I'm a stay at home mom now. I miss being able to jump on the train and go wherever I want or lazy weekend afternoons . I know this post is kind of stupid but does anyone else feel this way? It doesn't help me being in a college town. I do check out some of the young hot guys as they run by the house sometimes haha

[Anonymous]

Can you get a job and put the baby in day care?

[Anonymous]

You sound bored. Have an affair with one of the hot college guys.

That will liven things up.

You'll probably end up divorced, but then you can split custody with your now ex DH and have some you time.

Get your life girl!

[Anonymous]

I still miss my old life six years and two kids later. I've just accepted it.

[Anonymous]

Tradeoffs. That's life. You can't have it all. Some unease is OK. If you didn't have your child you'd be grieving not having a baby.

[Anonymous]

Go back to work. Being a SAHM can be boring and it can suck the life out of you.

[Anonymous]

I'm 17 months pp and it's now getting to be fun with a good routine. I did go back to work at 5 month pp. And now got promoted so I'm happy busy all day and come home early and play with a very happy dd. Helps that she's an early riser so I get 1.5 hrs of play time in the am before the annny comes and then about 3 before bedtime most days. If I was sahm I don't think I'd be as content. However I don't relish traveling for work which will pick back up in 4 months as it was never to fun places anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone feels that way to some extent. Your situation sounds more about your move than being a parent to be honest. I miss out on a lot of cool stuff now, mostly by choice, because I'd rather spend time with my kids. I always remind myself that this is a relatively short season in my life and soon enough I'll be able to do whatever I want again. And I bet when that day comes I'll miss seeing my kids every day!

[Anonymous]

As my kids get older I can do more stuff with them. That's fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound bored. Have an affair with one of the hot college guys.

That will liven things up.

You'll probably end up divorced, but then you can split custody with your now ex DH and have some you time.

Get your life girl!

Op here: Bad advice but maybe you're right about being bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to travel a lot for work before the baby came. We moved from dc to a college town while I was pregnant and I catch myself grieving my old life. I'm a stay at home mom now. I miss being able to jump on the train and go wherever I want or lazy weekend afternoons . I know this post is kind of stupid but does anyone else feel this way? It doesn't help me being in a college town. I do check out some of the young hot guys as they run by the house sometimes haha

I don't see why you can't give the 17month old to his father and jump on a train for an afternoon? Here sweetie, bubba is down for a nap, see you at dinner time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to travel a lot for work before the baby came. We moved from dc to a college town while I was pregnant and I catch myself grieving my old life. I'm a stay at home mom now. I miss being able to jump on the train and go wherever I want or lazy weekend afternoons . I know this post is kind of stupid but does anyone else feel this way? It doesn't help me being in a college town. I do check out some of the young hot guys as they run by the house sometimes haha

I don't see why you can't give the 17month old to his father and jump on a train for an afternoon? Here sweetie, bubba is down for a nap, see you at dinner time

This. I do that with my parents who are habitually local and dh is on an overseas assignment. They take dd from morning until after so and I can do whatever. They'd take her for longer if I needed it and I run errands etc or do something to recharge.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP. So many of us have been there. There are the people who knew they were giving it all up, and those of us who didn't know what they were giving up. This is a short list of what made it better, but I'm not able to do all these things now:

I drove 25 min to a gym almost every day with awesome classes and amazing childcare.

I swapped childcare with another mom, so we both got 3 free hours every week.

Last year, I said I wanted out of my unsupportive marriage, and I went back to work and just put her in daycare.

I scheduled playdates with moms I liked. I got a pool membership. We did adult things that could handle kids. Our neighborhood has lots of kid-friendly things.

I eat out too much. We're going to get brunch now. Because I am exhausted and hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to travel a lot for work before the baby came. We moved from dc to a college town while I was pregnant and I catch myself grieving my old life. I'm a stay at home mom now. I miss being able to jump on the train and go wherever I want or lazy weekend afternoons . I know this post is kind of stupid but does anyone else feel this way? It doesn't help me being in a college town. I do check out some of the young hot guys as they run by the house sometimes haha

I don't see why you can't give the 17month old to his father and jump on a train for an afternoon? Here sweetie, bubba is down for a nap, see you at dinner time

I moved out of state. We don't have public transportation here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to work. Being a SAHM can be boring and it can suck the life out of you.

Meh, only if you let it. When I SAH, I was more interesting because I could use nap time to pursue my interests and hang out with new and old friends who were also int he young baby phase. I was less stressed. Now that I'm back at work, I only have time to take care of office crap and take care of home crap. I feel less like I have a life now.