To pay or not to pay?

[Anonymous]

Someone asks you to co-host an event. They do all of the work and ask you for no input during the entire planning process. The event happens and it's obvious to everyone there that they are the host. They put your name on the invite as a co host but it's painfully obviously that they simply want you to pay for it. You receive an itemized bill from them after the event of your portion to pay. Do you pay it?

[Anonymous]

Yes because I would have agreed to do so in advance. If I were bothered by their taking over the event I would address it with them beforehand.

[Anonymous]

What kind of ass would think that's ok? Did you agree to be the financier of the event?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes because I would have agreed to do so in advance. If I were bothered by their taking over the event I would address it with them beforehand.

This. Once I realized that I wasn't getting any involvement, I'd have spoken to the other people and said hey, if I'm contributing X amount of money, I want some input. And then, if they continued on without me, I'd make it clear I was not paying long before they'd send me a bill. If you just let it go and never spoke up, but agreed beforehand, I'd say you're stuck.

[Anonymous]

I would love that kind of arrangement because I absolutely suck at planning events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone asks you to co-host an event. They do all of the work and ask you for no input during the entire planning process. The event happens and it's obvious to everyone there that they are the host. They put your name on the invite as a co host but it's painfully obviously that they simply want you to pay for it. You receive an itemized bill from them after the event of your portion to pay. Do you pay it?

Did you speak up between the time you agreed to co-host and the time you were sent a bill? If yes, and you continually sent suggestions and tried to give your input and were shot down, screw them, don't pay. If you sat by and waited for them to ask for your help, then suck it up and write a check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of ass would think that's ok? Did you agree to be the financier of the eventhj

This scenario actually happened to a friend. I think she agreed to it and then after she was excluded, she just assumed that she was no longer on the hook, until the incites went out Nd of course the bill later. Personally, I think this person is dead wrong but my friend said nothing. That's where she went wrong.

[Anonymous]

Of course you pay it, you agreed to pay for your share of it when you agreed to cohost. If you were concerned about the money or the direction of he planning, you should have spoken up during planning when changes could be made, not after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone asks you to co-host an event. They do all of the work and ask you for no input during the entire planning process. The event happens and it's obvious to everyone there that they are the host. They put your name on the invite as a co host but it's painfully obviously that they simply want you to pay for it. You receive an itemized bill from them after the event of your portion to pay. Do you pay it?

Did you speak up between the time you agreed to co-host and the time you were sent a bill? If yes, and you continually sent suggestions and tried to give your input and were shot down, screw them, don't pay. If you sat by and waited for them to ask for your help, then suck it up and write a check.

No, my friend didn't say anything the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Presuming you are an adult, you knew your friend WAS planning the party- and you didn't reach out?

Of course you owe her!

[Anonymous]

Op here, I responded to a few pp's but thought it best I add it here. This actually happened to a close friend. I've advised her that she needs to pay because although she didn't have any say in the planning process, she knew for months and allowed it to go on. Now she's upset that she's stuck with the bill as if she magically thought her silence and lack of being asked her opinion matters in the end. It doesnt. This person went all out in her decor/food in my opinion because she thought she was going to be help. It was rude of this person to use her in the way she did but my friend allowed it to happen. And who doesn't talk budget, vendor and menu with your co host. The host did what she wanted, how she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I responded to a few pp's but thought it best I add it here. This actually happened to a close friend. I've advised her that she needs to pay because although she didn't have any say in the planning process, she knew for months and allowed it to go on. Now she's upset that she's stuck with the bill as if she magically thought her silence and lack of being asked her opinion matters in the end. It doesnt. This person went all out in her decor/food in my opinion because she thought she was going to be help. It was rude of this person to use her in the way she did but my friend allowed it to happen. And who doesn't talk budget, vendor and menu with your co host. The host did what she wanted, how she wanted.

Well, if the other host didn't let her know how much anything was costing, I'd say she's off the hook for anything that was beyond her (actual, set in advance) budget. And it would matter whether your friend tried to offer input or just sat around and waited to be consulted.

[Anonymous]

Your friend allowed herself to be railroaded but being so passive and meek. Sure it was rude of the other host, but your friend let it happen despite having ample time to speak up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you pay. The time to speak up was before the party. But after paying you walk away knowing that it was a lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

You pay, unless the bill was really high and it was known your friend was on a tight budget.

But that sucks. She was clearly used.