How Did you Look at Beginning of Week 12?

[Anonymous]

I am not skinny but I'm not fat. 5'8 and 145 before the pregnancy - a size 8 most of the time. I have a belly, but it's not huge by any means. 130 is my prime hotness weight - that usually makes me loose in a size 6. But I am beginning week 12 tomorrow and... uhh... I look fat! I keep seeing all these women with their cute teensy bumps and they are all saying things like "oh, I'm in my 23rd week." I mean GACK! I have only gained 4 pounds, but I swear it is ALL right on top of my uterus. I have this enormous pooch and no waist anymore. And I SWEAR I've gained more than 4 pounds. I think I'm losing muscle and it's all becoming FAT on my ABDOMEN.

Everything says I shouldn't be showing but I really am struggling with the way I'm looking right now. I mean... I don't get it. How did you look at the end of week 11/beginning of week 12? Like normal but with a teeny change? Gigantor with a FUPA? Somewhere in between?

I think this freakout is stemming from the fact that I have to go to a pool party tomorrow. In a pool. With, presumably, a bathing suit. In front of PEOPLE. And, to top it all off, I'm still heavy duty in the nausea department. Which means the heat and bbq smells are gonna rock my socks. And my pooch/gigantor pouch.

[Anonymous]

Who says you shouldn't be showing at 12 weeks? I'm only 9 weeks and I can definitely tell a difference. I'm naturally pretty small (5'3", 106 lb), so I could tell right away that my lower abdomen area was sticking out. No one else notices (except my husband) but I definitely can tell!!! I am not wearing any of my tighter shirts anymore, only looser things. I have gained almost 3 lbs. I can't believe some women are still tiny at 23 weeks! Crazy!!

[Anonymous]

Everyone is different. Don't worry about it. I could tell I had a little extra pudge at 12 weeks, but no one else thought I looked any different.

Use a sarongish thing at the pool party if it makes you feel better. I know I hated being in a bathing suit around that time. I definitely didn't look pregnant, I just looked fat.

[Anonymous]

Oooh a sarong! I have one of those - good call 15:45!!

Yeah, my big thing is that I don't really look pregnant, just fat. But oddly fat. Bulbous even. Grrr.

But yes, I am hearting the sarong idea.

[Anonymous]

Yes...the ambiguosly chubby phase. For me this lasted from about 12 weeks to 20 weeks. I am tall and pretty thin pre-pregnancy. But my middle was just thick for a long time...no cute bump. OP, you have my sympathy. This phase is tough on the ego. I'm a person that never spent a whole lot of time getting dressed. I would just put on an outfit and head out the door. During this phase, I would literally put on 5 different outfits (of my clothes that still fit...b/c I didn't really need maternity clothes yet) until I found something that I felt ok wearing. Not fun.

If it makes you feel any better, like the PP said, I don't think other people notice.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I sure hope you're right 16:20. I actually recently saw my ex boyfriend - we were together for 7 years - we went to dinner. And I REALLY felt like he kept sort of squinting at my midsection. I was college thin when I was with him of course, but it sure made me feel embarrassed.

And I SO hear you on the trying things on! I usually where kind of formfitting v-neck tops to work. I have.. I dunno.. 5 of them or something. But EVERY ONE OF THEM hugs my chubbo now - some even lift a bit to show a touch of incredibly UNsexy skin. 20 weeks seems so long from now. I can't wait to actually look pregnant!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who says you shouldn't be showing at 12 weeks? I'm only 9 weeks and I can definitely tell a difference. I'm naturally pretty small (5'3", 106 lb), so I could tell right away that my lower abdomen area was sticking out. No one else notices (except my husband) but I definitely can tell!!! I am not wearing any of my tighter shirts anymore, only looser things. I have gained almost 3 lbs. I can't believe some women are still tiny at 23 weeks! Crazy!!

I'm also petite. I am 5ft4 and 103lbs and when I was 7 weeks prego people were already asking me when I was due!? Ugh...No way I could hide it!!

[Anonymous]

Like you, I lost my waist before I gained a true preggo belly. In fact, when I announced my pregnancy at work, one of my colleagues said "I was wondering about you. I didn't know if you had some good news to share or if you had just overindulged during the holidays."

And this at a time when the scale showed an actual gain of maybe two pounds. Wow, thanks.

It sucks, but I promise that you'll be rocking the cute little bump very soon -- all of a sudden you'll just "pop." In the meantime, wear maternity tops when you can (not sure if you're out at work yet), even if you feel like an imposter while shopping. They'll telegraph to people in the know that your new shape isn't Big Mac-based.

[Anonymous]

i bet you look beautiful. it's a rough time -- don't beat yourself up. pool party be damned.

[Anonymous]

OP -- I was exact same height and weight pre-preg and gained the same amt in my first trimester. I felt the same way. I was uncomfortable with my new pudge and convinced everyone at work knew I was pregnant or thinking I ate way too much! You'll get used to it. Just remember there's a little one growing in there and that's the point of all of this.
You want a laugh? I announced to my coworkers that I was pregnant at 18 weeks and one of them was completely surprised. My first reaction was "do I look this fat to you all the time?", but of course I didn't say it...

[Anonymous]

I echo the point about wearing maternity shirts as soon as you are out - they completely highlight the bump and not the growing wideness which I still feel like at 20 weeks I still have.

I put on a regular t-shirt yesterday and said to my husband that you couldn't tell if I was pregnant or just chunky and he agreed (not in a mean way)

[Anonymous]

Hopefully, you'll learn to love your bump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully, you'll learn to love your bump.

For me, I think I'll love the bump, I'm just not loving the pre-bump thickness! I'm 15wks and look pregnant to family and friends -- bigger boobs, thicker waistline. But to strangers or people who don't know me well, I look chunky. Yes, I'm very self conscious about it right now and struggling with body image. I can't WAIT to "love my bump" since then the rest of the world will see me as pregnant woman not fat woman.

As someone who tries to stay fit but does struggle with weight, this is really hard for me right now.

[Anonymous]

I'm 5'9 and I've done this twice now. The first time, I just got thick all around in the beginning. Thank goodness for hip slung everything because I couldn't even keep maternity clothes on my body until 20 weeks. Until then, I didn't look pregnant, just fat.

The second time, I thought I was looking ok but then I ran into a friend at the dry cleaner when I was 12 weeks and she actually pointed to my belly and asked me what was going on!! She was the kind of friend who could do that, but still, it made me realize that I was looking large.

Your bump will come soon enough, and then you'll be annoyed because it will get in your way!!

[Anonymous]

OP here. So nice to hear that others have the same struggles! And teehee 10:05 I have been waiting for a friend to just go "uhh seriously maybe cut out the donuts." I know that a few people are giving me the sideways glances but I'm hoping it's more in my head than not.

Since I don't have a bump yet, just a lot of squishy, I have totally romanticized that pregnant belly look. I'm sure I'll be sick of it soon enough, but for now, it seems so wonderful!

P.S. I went to my pool party with lots of help from Senors Sarong and Towel and I think it went fine!