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I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but here goes.
I've been a loving cat mommy for 17 years. I also have a 2.5 year old, a 6 month old, and job that is currently very demanding. The cat is sick with mammary cancer. The vet gave her 1 year tops, and that was over 2 years ago. She shits on the floor for every bowel movement. She vomits all over the house on a daily basis. Both her stool and vomit often have pools of blood in them. She is losing a lot of weight. The vet doesn't think the above problems are related to the cancer, but who really knows. I really just want to have her put to sleep, but I love her and that just doesn't seem right. Something has to give. I am hanging on by a thread. |
| I was taught you look at whether your pet is enjoying life to decide if you should put them to sleep. Do they still get excited to see you, to eat? Do they still enjoy being pet? |
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Put her to sleep with no regrets. The cat has had a long and wonderful life with you, and her quality of life is now diminishing. You can say goodbye knowing that you did not wait until she was suffering horribly, which is a real blessing.
Take care of yourself and your children and let the cat go. Hugs to you. |
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OP I mean this kindly, but give her one last good day and put her to sleep. Feed her a nice salmon, catnip, back scratch or whatever. It doesn't sound like her quality of life is good.
I too had a dog who was hanging on by a thread recently. I had a romantic notion that she'd die in her sleep. Instead it ended in 3 of the worst days of my life. My dog was in SO much pain, howling, throwing up and moaning. I was stupid for thinking it could be a natural death. We didn't get a last good day either because we waited too long. |
| Yeah, time for her to go down. Sorry OP |
| Poor kitty. Yes, I don't think you would be in the wrong in giving her peace. |
| I'm so sorry, OP. It sounds like it is time. |
| If you had no kids and your full time job was watching this cat, I would still agree with others telling you it's time for you to end the cat's suffering. Good, long, life. Time for a peaceful goodbye. |
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OP here, the thing is, the vet thinks the vomit and poop issues could just be IBS, so treatable if we want to give daily steroids. So I feel like I would be putting her down for IBS and for overloading our already crowded plate.
Who knows what is going on with the cancer though. |
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No flaming. This is always a really difficult decision.
I felt the same feelings of obligation and guilt you may be feeling when we had to put my dog down. Like making that decision because he was "making messes" and really difficult for us was somehow unfair to him or me shirking my duty to him. But the reality is that your most important duty is to limit their suffering at the end - so actually the most selfless decision can be to say goodbye. That's not copping out - it's actually making the harder decision to spare them pain. Hugs to you - it is so hard. |
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I also had a vet like this - who seemed to want to give me hope and come up with solutions to my dog's problems. I mean, that's what vets do--they treat issues!
It helped me to meet with Lap of Love, which is a vet org locally that can do in home euthanasia if you choose. They came to the house and just helped us generally evaluate his quality of life to help us make the decision. Seeing him in his environment - how much we had to help him and how difficult life was for him - the Lap of Love vet helped us shift from "can we fix this problem" to "what is the kindest thing for our animal" It's not cheap, but that consultation gave us a lot of peace of mind. |
17 year old cat? I love, love, love my cats. But, in that situation - I dont' think you are doing anything wrong by putting her down. That said - have you tried steriods? They are a wonder drug. If they don't work then you'll feel less guilt. Steroids can also manage cancer pain so win-win. |
| OP again. The cat has a good appetite on most days, although it waxes and wanes. She plays occasionally. Probably sleeps more ham she used to, but she still fights for attention from us. |
| Seventeen years is a long, good life. Cats don't have the same perception of time as we do. She is not looking forward to Christmas or to seeing a new grandbaby, or hoping for reconciliation with a loved one. She is vomiting daily and unable to use her litterbox. Let her go. |