How long should you stay at your first "real" job?

[Anonymous]

I'm five months into my first job with benefits, PTO, etc. It's okay but there are things that I am having trouble dealing with. How do I know if it's the job and not me? Additionally, how long do you recommend one stay at a job before moving on to grad school or applying to other jobs?

[Anonymous]

Is there potential for advancement where you are?

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there potential for advancement where you are?

How old are you?

I'm 23. It's an entry level job but I can apply for other jobs within the company after working there for a year. However, my own department is pretty small, so I probably wouldn't be able to move up within my group until around at least two years there. There are other recent grads in my department on my level who have worked for the company for 2 years.

[Anonymous]

What are the thing that are troubling you?

[Anonymous]

You should stay at least two years - less than that looks like you can't commit.

But are you happy? Is there an opportunity for advancement? Are pay and benefits good? Then stay longer.

[Anonymous]

OP here responding to the two PP. I like one of my bosses and most of my co-workers and the hours are really good/flexible, pay is OK. However, the co-worker next to me (older woman on my level) is constantly giving me constructive criticism and I'm having a hard time listening to her constantly critique me. Additionally, the work isn't very stimulating. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable, I just very blah about work. It doesn't excite me and I don't dread it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here responding to the two PP. I like one of my bosses and most of my co-workers and the hours are really good/flexible, pay is OK. However, the co-worker next to me (older woman on my level) is constantly giving me constructive criticism and I'm having a hard time listening to her constantly critique me. Additionally, the work isn't very stimulating. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable, I just very blah about work. It doesn't excite me and I don't dread it.

This sounds pretty standard for your first job. Stick it out no less than a year for sure, two if you can. When I was your age I took advantage of the benefit of having flexible hours. I joined a kickball team (where I met my husband). I took a cake decorating class. I joined a couple meet up groups. Sure, my day job wasn't the greatest, but I always had evening and weekend activities that I could afford and had time for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here responding to the two PP. I like one of my bosses and most of my co-workers and the hours are really good/flexible, pay is OK. However, the co-worker next to me (older woman on my level) is constantly giving me constructive criticism and I'm having a hard time listening to her constantly critique me. Additionally, the work isn't very stimulating. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable, I just very blah about work. It doesn't excite me and I don't dread it.

This sounds pretty standard for your first job. Stick it out no less than a year for sure, two if you can. When I was your age I took advantage of the benefit of having flexible hours. I joined a kickball team (where I met my husband). I took a cake decorating class. I joined a couple meet up groups. Sure, my day job wasn't the greatest, but I always had evening and weekend activities that I could afford and had time for.

Thanks, this is kind of what I needed to hear.

[Anonymous]

OP, for some perspective. I am about 15 years older than you and on my 3rd "real job." I have stayed at each of them for 3-5 years. NONE of them have been super exciting, though there are definitely things I like about my work.

I would think about what your coworker is saying, constructive criticism-wise, and figure out what to do with that feedback. If you are often hearing the same things that you could be doing better, one consequence to ignoring those things and moving up without those skills is that you may find yourself in a higher level position without basic level skills that you need to do the job. Those things will not be taught to you in new positions. They will be things you will be assumed to have already mastered.

I used to have a boss who was really great at 30,000 foot stuff and really terrible at details. He was not able to keep up with his own administrative stuff (even with an assistant who deals with that, there is still stuff that has to be done personally and this guy could not deal with those things). He was totally unable to train anyone else on how to do those things, making him a pretty crappy one-sided mentor for entry-level people as well as an administrative pain in the ass for the rest of us, who had to do MORE work as a result of his failing to have basic skills.

If your colleague is telling you that you need to pay more attention to detail or proofread your work, that is likely because you are making errors that other people are having to correct. If your colleague is telling you that the tone you used with a client was not appropriate, it is likely because someone has had to speak to a client who was put off by your tone. If your colleague is telling you that you need to be more responsive to X or Y, that's likely because there have been times when X or Y has come up and other people have had to cover for you.

It's entirely possible that your colleague is a nitpicker who thinks her way is the only way to do things, but I would be very careful of dismissing her suggestions out of hand because you're sick of feeling criticized.

[Anonymous]

Stayed for couple of months, applied to grad school, changed careers. Luckily, pay was nothing, so was easy to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, for some perspective. I am about 15 years older than you and on my 3rd "real job." I have stayed at each of them for 3-5 years. NONE of them have been super exciting, though there are definitely things I like about my work.

I would think about what your coworker is saying, constructive criticism-wise, and figure out what to do with that feedback. If you are often hearing the same things that you could be doing better, one consequence to ignoring those things and moving up without those skills is that you may find yourself in a higher level position without basic level skills that you need to do the job. Those things will not be taught to you in new positions. They will be things you will be assumed to have already mastered.

I used to have a boss who was really great at 30,000 foot stuff and really terrible at details. He was not able to keep up with his own administrative stuff (even with an assistant who deals with that, there is still stuff that has to be done personally and this guy could not deal with those things). He was totally unable to train anyone else on how to do those things, making him a pretty crappy one-sided mentor for entry-level people as well as an administrative pain in the ass for the rest of us, who had to do MORE work as a result of his failing to have basic skills.

If your colleague is telling you that you need to pay more attention to detail or proofread your work, that is likely because you are making errors that other people are having to correct. If your colleague is telling you that the tone you used with a client was not appropriate, it is likely because someone has had to speak to a client who was put off by your tone. If your colleague is telling you that you need to be more responsive to X or Y, that's likely because there have been times when X or Y has come up and other people have had to cover for you.

It's entirely possible that your colleague is a nitpicker who thinks her way is the only way to do things, but I would be very careful of dismissing her suggestions out of hand because you're sick of feeling criticized.

OP here- I'm having difficulty seeing I'm overreacting to the critiques. She often critiques my methodology and I talked about it with my boss, and my boss reassured me that I was doing well in the task. But today my co-worker came over to me and told me I should not talk so loudly on the phone after I had a conversation with a remote worker. I have worked as a customer service rep, all my phone interviews have resulted in in-person interviews, and I have never once had someone comment on this before. Is it really crazy to not want to change your personality for the sake of your co-worker?

[Anonymous]

When she critiques your methodology, it's appropriate to say, "I've actually discussed this with Bossity Boss, and he's happy with the way I'm doing it." This is, of course, only rhe case if you've listened to thw ceitique and you are sure that tthe critique is invalid. It's possible that you could be doing "fine" and that your methodology could be improved.

Re: Loud phone conversations- being a customer service rep (where everbody is on the phine) and having phone interviews are torally different that taking a call in the office! Yes, maybe your coworker is way off-base, but it's also possible that your volume was out of norm for the office or actively distracting her work.

Is there another peer in the office you can check in with? You're framing everything from this coworker as negative and hostile, and it might be worth seeing how much that is the case, or how much you need to learn business norms.

[Anonymous]

So many things to consider.

Is your current job related to what you want to go to school for?

Will you be able to work and go to school at the same time?


Is it eh job itself you dislike or the coworker?

Unfortunately, the workplace is often a lot like middle school in that some people want to have sort of a clique or a pecking order.

It could be that this coworker just wants to see where they can get with you perceives you as weak.

Observe others in the setting who are having success, how do they talk? If you are in line with office norms ignore this coworker, if not make adjustments as you see fit.

[Anonymous]

The condescending older coworker giving unsolicited advice isn't something that goes away by switching jobs. If you leave this one, you'll just encounter the next office's busy body.

A few coping tips:
-Let her finish her sentence, then politely return to your work. Don't counter her points, argue back, or engage in a discussion. "Thanks for the tip Janice" in a pleasant tone, then back to your work.
-If she undermines you in front of others, have casual references to your accomplishments ready. "When I was at Penn. . . " or "Oh interesting! CEO actually loved our presentation on XYZ"
-Dress in a very polished, completely professional manner. Being a visibly young woman in the office can make people immediately dismissive of your ideas. Try to look older by wearing very professional clothes and only natural looking make up. Clean hair cut, tasteful jewelry. If you need ideas, think pencil skirt, blouse, low heels, simple pearl necklace, and stud earrings.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I am 24 and on my second 'real' job. Stayed at my first for 9 months and left due to a horrible boss. He would work from home for days at a time and was unresponsive to any attempts to contact him (and he only had three direct reports). He promised a raise/promotion then never addressed it again and dodged he subject when I brought it up. He never took responsibility and let HIS TEAM take the blame for things that were his fault. I decided to cut my losses and leave. Quitting was the most satisfying thing I've ever done!
Now I work for a much larger/more prestigious company with a great boss and coworker's. I feel like I appreciate it even more because of my bad first experience. It's becoming a lot more common to job hop these days. Have to do what's right for you.