Therapy for anxious 7yo?
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Anonymous
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My 7.5yo daughter has been showing signs of extreme anxiety for the past year and a half or so. Last year she started picking at her skin, causing sores that lasted for months. At first she hid them and once we discovered them we took a lot of steps to help her stop - lessening anxiety at home, stopping an activity that seemed to be stressing her, talking with the school counselor. We also motivated her to stop with something she really wanted and after a couple more months she had stopped.
Unfortunately, she is still showing moments of extreme anxiety like, for example today, freaking out about getting a flu shot in OCTOBER because her sister went to the doctor today and got her shots so the thought popped into her mind. She also gets extremely upset when thinking about other things that are in the future or aren't even an issue and if she stopped to think about them she'd realize they weren't - like an upcoming try out for a children's chorus (where everyone gets in). She LOVES to perform and is extremely outgoing and happy-go-lucky 98% of the time, so this kind of thing seems so incongruous to her usual personality. I want to help her learn to curb the impulse toward anxiety. My MIL has extreme anxiety that borders on crippling and I don't want my daughter to end up like that. Should I consider therapy for her at this point? CBT or another kind? Anyone btdt? Thanks! |
Anonymous
| You should have got her therapy a year ago. |
Anonymous
That's not helpful. We spoke at length with her teachers and others in the school including the school counselor. None of them felt she needed therapy at that time. |
Anonymous
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So she is self harming due to anxiety? What are you waiting for?
I got my kid help immediately. |
Anonymous
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You should really post this in the Kids with Special Needs forum. Whether you realize this or not, anxiety is a "special need" which makes your child "special needs". The Kids with Special Needs forum has not only a great wealth of knowledge, but more so We have such incredible warrior parents who are equipped with such amazing insight, resources, empathy & life experiences (having already been through this themselves) that will serve you far greater than posting in here. FYI, anxiety is one of the most talked about subjects posted in the KwSN forum... you can learn a great deal from just reading previous posts. Good luck! |
Anonymous
They are her teachers and yes one of them is a psychologist. It isn't airing dirty laundry it's discussing my child with the people who interact with her on a daily basis. She was picking for about 5 months altogether. It started because she was being bullied which was another issue that was addressed very careyand seriously with the school last year. She hasn't done it in a year and this year she's had a much easier class and time socially. The anxiety is, as I said, not all the time - far from it - it pops up occayand we deal with it. Obviously I'm looking into getting her into therapy at this point because I don't want it to continue. |
Anonymous
Thank you for the constructive response. |
Anonymous
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The longer her brain is left to operate in its anxious fashion, the more those ways of thinking are ingrained. Sorry for the truth but yes, she should have been in therapy at the first sign of all this. Just because she's not actively skin picking doesn't mean that the anxiety isn't manifesting itself in other ways that she is able to hide from you.
I suggest doing a lot of reading on the SN forum. You need to equip yourself to start advocating for your kid. |
Anonymous
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My oldest (now 14) started displaying signs of anxiety when was about 4.5. We did the usual thing of going to the pediatrician, meeting with a psychologist, etc. There was a period of 9 months when he was in 3rd grade that he was on generic Prozac because his anxiety was controlling him. The Prozac didn't eliminate the anxiety but brought it back down to where he could control it. The PP is right that the longer the anxiety is left untreated, the more it becomes ingrained and harder to address.
I would start by getting an appointment (or get on the waitlist) for an evaluation some place like the Keller Center or the Ross Center. I have found that many child psychologists really don't understand childhood anxiety. When my DS was not in an anxious state, he (seemingly) retained no knowledge of why he was so jacked up or what it felt like. He could also list out all the techniques he'd been taught to calm himself and control the anxiety. He was able to access none of those tools when in an anxious state which is why we went the medication route. Younger kids can learn the techniques of CBT but often lack the maturity to utilize them when needed. My DS would go from 0 to 100 on the anxious scale in the blink of an eye and once he was there, there was no reasoning with him. It's horrible. You also need to educate yourself on anxiety and what you should be doing when your DD is anxious. Her feelings should be acknowledged but not reinforced. There are a lot of good resources out there that I'm sure others will recommend. Our school psychologist has also been instrumental in helping our oldest and youngest with anxiety. I know you're already working with yours and encourage you to keep that relationship. It was especially important when I could see DS starting to spiral. Sometimes general ed teachers aren't the most receptive/knowledgeable about this (I had one tell me all pubescent boys are anxious, it's the hormones). Interrupting the cycle before it starts is important as is getting your kid to recognize when she's spiraling. Believe you me, it doesn't get easier as they get older. DS (my 14 yo), is more emotionally aware but puberty has also made his emotions more volatile and there are more situations for him to react to than when he was younger (he used to do the same freak out about vaccinations!). HTH http://www.inova.org/healthcare-services/inova-kellar-center/index.jsp http://www.rosscenter.com/ |
Anonymous
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Great suggestion from 7:13.
You may also want to educate yourself on anxiety disorder. A new book called On Edge, a Journey Through Anxiety is worth reading. Written by a Wall Street Journal health reporter who has suffered from anxiety since childhood, it's also full of information about the disorder, treatment and so forth. It's not a parenting your kid with anxiety book, but still helpful. |
Anonymous
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people behave differently at school. They may not have seen the extent of it. My son's school had no clue about his issues, kids can hide things at school.
I do think you were very naive. |
Anonymous
| Moving forward, 7:13 has great advice. We worked with a psychologist at the Ross Center (Abigail Romirowski) & it was very, very helpful for our then-7 or 8 year old child. Strongly recommend them. It takes a while to see change but having tools to cut through the anxiety changes the dynamic to one that feels (at times) more empowering for the child. |
Anonymous
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Thank you for the constructive advice, especially y7:13. We are actually not in DC so I can't use specific clinic or doctor referrals but I will definitely try to find something similar where we live.
Calling me naive and telling me I messed up by not getting her help earlier really isn't helpful. We did help her significantly over the past year and a half and she is not and never has been out of control with her behavior with the (granted large) exception of the skin picking. When she's anxious about something we calm her down and talk about it and she recognizes when she's anxious and is able to calm down quite quickly. I do realize that can change which is why I'm taking more steps to address it now. And I have been advocating and helping her her entire life. |
Anonymous
| Op - additionally, she is in a private school for gifted children with small classes and lots of fantastic, engaged teachers. Despite the gifted label it's very nurturing and relaxed in elementary and she's thriving there in every way (especially after last years class with some tough girl friendships). She does occasionally get anxious in school as well as at home, but as I wrote before 98% of the time in all locations she's extremely happy, cheerful, outgoing, typical etc. She in involved in children's theater and adores performing and being with other kids who are passionate about theater. She has tons of friends and is a true includer, she wants to play with everyone who is interested and always happy to add more to the group. She's the oldest of 3 and adores her younger siblings. I want to help her gain the skills to cope with her brief moments of anxiety and am just unclear what type of doctor we should see first to find those skills. Our pediatrician isn't super helpful, unfortunately. |
Anonymous
| I'd try a therapist who specializes in CBT, for a start. |