Social support for HFA in middle/high school- helpful?

[Anonymous]

We have recently learned that our 7th grader likely has high-functioning autism. The only realm it really shows up in is social. He has a very hard time interacting socially, and also exhibits some black-and-white thinking.
So far, he does very well at school. Straight As, went to an HGC for 4th and 5th. (I asked some questions here recently, but still have not heard input on the question below.)

I am inclined to get him diagnosed (we do not yet have that, and have not yet discussed it with him) and get him some help privately, but do not feel like telling the school about it, because I think it would make him very uncomfortable. I am also under the impression that they might not offer much in terms of help. Like they might pull him out for a social group, at best. I guess I want to ask if anyone has found that helpful, at the middle and high school level. Is it worth doing at school, if we sign him up for something like PEERS outside of school?

He does not seem to need any academic support.

So, if you are in Montgomery county and have a child like ours, what support did the school offer, and was it helpful? How did it compare to help you got outside of school?

[Anonymous]

There is no right answer. I feel like people often give the knee jerk reaction of "no" on here b/c there's still a lot of prejudice toward autism. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's how a brain is wired. It's not the defining characteristic either. I can understand why people don't want to share certain information. However, I've seen some people really do a disservice to their kids by not being upfront with their challenges.

If you don't already, I would start talking to your son here about his challenges. He may already have an inkling. He may also want some strategies. The diagnosis unto itself isn't the most important thing, however, I would definitely get him social skills help regardless of whether or not you pursue an official diagnosis.

Social Skill Groups:
http://hespclinic.umd.edu/peersreg-teen-program.html
http://ivymountoutreach.org/Programs/educational_programs/unstuck_and_on_target_

Summer camp:
https://www.theauburnschool.org/domain/51

Having an official diagnosis may open up opportunities on a college level in terms of support, e.g.,:
http://hespclinic.umd.edu/signa-social-group.html
https://www.rit.edu/~w-ssp/

The older kids get the more difficult it can be to get them proper support, especially socially. Again, there's no right answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no right answer. I feel like people often give the knee jerk reaction of "no" on here b/c there's still a lot of prejudice toward autism. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's how a brain is wired. It's not the defining characteristic either. I can understand why people don't want to share certain information. However, I've seen some people really do a disservice to their kids by not being upfront with their challenges.

If you don't already, I would start talking to your son here about his challenges. He may already have an inkling. He may also want some strategies. The diagnosis unto itself isn't the most important thing, however, I would definitely get him social skills help regardless of whether or not you pursue an official diagnosis.

Social Skill Groups:
http://hespclinic.umd.edu/peersreg-teen-program.html
http://ivymountoutreach.org/Programs/educational_programs/unstuck_and_on_target_

Summer camp:
https://www.theauburnschool.org/domain/51

Having an official diagnosis may open up opportunities on a college level in terms of support, e.g.,:
http://hespclinic.umd.edu/signa-social-group.html
https://www.rit.edu/~w-ssp/

The older kids get the more difficult it can be to get them proper support, especially socially. Again, there's no right answer.

Thank you! I had not yet heard about the UMD programs. I will look for more info about their teen PEERS program. It is further away, but perhaps it will be more affordable than the other local ones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We have recently learned that our 7th grader likely has high-functioning autism. The only realm it really shows up in is social. He has a very hard time interacting socially, and also exhibits some black-and-white thinking.
So far, he does very well at school. Straight As, went to an HGC for 4th and 5th. (I asked some questions here recently, but still have not heard input on the question below.)

I am inclined to get him diagnosed (we do not yet have that, and have not yet discussed it with him) and get him some help privately, but do not feel like telling the school about it, because I think it would make him very uncomfortable. I am also under the impression that they might not offer much in terms of help. Like they might pull him out for a social group, at best. I guess I want to ask if anyone has found that helpful, at the middle and high school level. Is it worth doing at school, if we sign him up for something like PEERS outside of school?

He does not seem to need any academic support.

So, if you are in Montgomery county and have a child like ours, what support did the school offer, and was it helpful? How did it compare to help you got outside of school?

None at all which is appropriate as long as there is no bullying or other serious issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have recently learned that our 7th grader likely has high-functioning autism. The only realm it really shows up in is social. He has a very hard time interacting socially, and also exhibits some black-and-white thinking.
So far, he does very well at school. Straight As, went to an HGC for 4th and 5th. (I asked some questions here recently, but still have not heard input on the question below.)

I am inclined to get him diagnosed (we do not yet have that, and have not yet discussed it with him) and get him some help privately, but do not feel like telling the school about it, because I think it would make him very uncomfortable. I am also under the impression that they might not offer much in terms of help. Like they might pull him out for a social group, at best. I guess I want to ask if anyone has found that helpful, at the middle and high school level. Is it worth doing at school, if we sign him up for something like PEERS outside of school?

He does not seem to need any academic support.

So, if you are in Montgomery county and have a child like ours, what support did the school offer, and was it helpful? How did it compare to help you got outside of school?

None at all which is appropriate as long as there is no bullying or other serious issue.

Err...no. Learning social skills and flexible thinking isn't just for kids who are getting bullied. It's learning problem solving, advocating for one's self, learning cooperation, and the basic niceties of greetings, how to carry a conversation, etc.

A lot of SN kids whether they are on the spectrum or not, could use help in these areas. In fact, most kids would benefit from a lot of what's in a social skills curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Dr. Black in Chevy Chase runs a PEER group.

Kingsbury School in DC (not hard to get to from MoCo has a summer program for older kids that basically is using activities to help build social skills:
http://www.kingsbury.org/day-school/summerprograms.cfm

Also in DC, Lab's summer program will reinforce academic skills but they will also reinforce social skills as well. (Not every kid who goes to Lab has dyslexia for example, so your kid won't be the only one not working on certain academic skills. Plus there are kids on the spectrum there, whether Lab or parents admit this.) The theme is Shakespeare, so there will be acting, set building as well: https://bbk12e1-cdn.myschoolcdn.com/ftpimages/541/misc/misc_146466.pdf

Also, call SN schools like Auburn, Lab, Kingsbury to see if they offer social skill groups to non-students or if they recommend groups that do.

[Anonymous]

The Ivymount Outreach program is expensive, but for us it was worth the money for the concurrent parent class. We did it a few years ago. Our kid actually has ADHD but as a parent, you still seen the dis-regulation and inflexibility. Very helpful in learning strategies to address these things at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have recently learned that our 7th grader likely has high-functioning autism. The only realm it really shows up in is social. He has a very hard time interacting socially, and also exhibits some black-and-white thinking.
So far, he does very well at school. Straight As, went to an HGC for 4th and 5th. (I asked some questions here recently, but still have not heard input on the question below.)

I am inclined to get him diagnosed (we do not yet have that, and have not yet discussed it with him) and get him some help privately, but do not feel like telling the school about it, because I think it would make him very uncomfortable. I am also under the impression that they might not offer much in terms of help. Like they might pull him out for a social group, at best. I guess I want to ask if anyone has found that helpful, at the middle and high school level. Is it worth doing at school, if we sign him up for something like PEERS outside of school?

He does not seem to need any academic support.

So, if you are in Montgomery county and have a child like ours, what support did the school offer, and was it helpful? How did it compare to help you got outside of school?

None at all which is appropriate as long as there is no bullying or other serious issue.

Err...no. Learning social skills and flexible thinking isn't just for kids who are getting bullied. It's learning problem solving, advocating for one's self, learning cooperation, and the basic niceties of greetings, how to carry a conversation, etc.

A lot of SN kids whether they are on the spectrum or not, could use help in these areas. In fact, most kids would benefit from a lot of what's in a social skills curriculum.

The question gets at what types of issues might qualify a child for services. School systems are overburdened with kids with serious issues and to me it makes sense that social skills deficits in many cases would not qualify as an educational impact especially for child is able to access the curriculum well as is evident in OP's child's success. The child has straight As. Unless his social issues are very severe it seems unlikely that the school will want to do anything and in this case, based on the information we have, I would have to agree.

[Anonymous]

Alvord baker runs some great groups for this age. I would suggest this over Ivymount based on your description of your child.

[Anonymous]

thank you all!

It's very helpful, but I'm getting more confused. I will be looking into some of these groups. B-Social also looked like it could be helpful, but we won't be in town in August.
I've been looking into Alvord Baker, because of the above suggestion. I am not sure if I think that or something more like PEERS will be more useful. It sounds like maybe PEERS is more geared towards the social skills ie, to learn why it's important to look at someone and answer them audibly. To learn how to tell when kids are being nice and when they are making fun of you. To learn why you don't just start reading a book without saying anything to your guest as soon as you are done with the game you find interesting. How to ask for help, how to apologize. I teach him all this stuff, but I think it'd help to learn it from someone else.

Alvord Baker sounds like it specializes in CBT, which I like and also am in search of for an issue of my own. But wouldn't that be better for things like managing anxiety or stress or anger etc than learning some of these skills? I think he needs help with emotional things too, but feel that if he understands the expectations of others and how to function socially, his anxiety and stress will go down. Or do they also do well with HFA, and social skills? (I will of course also call and talk to someone there)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We have recently learned that our 7th grader likely has high-functioning autism. The only realm it really shows up in is social. He has a very hard time interacting socially, and also exhibits some black-and-white thinking.
So far, he does very well at school. Straight As, went to an HGC for 4th and 5th. (I asked some questions here recently, but still have not heard input on the question below.)

I am inclined to get him diagnosed (we do not yet have that, and have not yet discussed it with him) and get him some help privately, but do not feel like telling the school about it, because I think it would make him very uncomfortable. I am also under the impression that they might not offer much in terms of help. Like they might pull him out for a social group, at best. I guess I want to ask if anyone has found that helpful, at the middle and high school level. Is it worth doing at school, if we sign him up for something like PEERS outside of school?

He does not seem to need any academic support.

So, if you are in Montgomery county and have a child like ours, what support did the school offer, and was it helpful? How did it compare to help you got outside of school?

None at all which is appropriate as long as there is no bullying or other serious issue.

Err...no. Learning social skills and flexible thinking isn't just for kids who are getting bullied. It's learning problem solving, advocating for one's self, learning cooperation, and the basic niceties of greetings, how to carry a conversation, etc.

A lot of SN kids whether they are on the spectrum or not, could use help in these areas. In fact, most kids would benefit from a lot of what's in a social skills curriculum.

The question gets at what types of issues might qualify a child for services. School systems are overburdened with kids with serious issues and to me it makes sense that social skills deficits in many cases would not qualify as an educational impact especially for child is able to access the curriculum well as is evident in OP's child's success. The child has straight As. Unless his social issues are very severe it seems unlikely that the school will want to do anything and in this case, based on the information we have, I would have to agree.

PP the OP's not planning to share any potential diagnosis with the school and not looking for any supports through the school.

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP. We're familiar with B-Social, Ivymount and Alvord Baker and now that you've told us more about what you're looking for I'd recommend starting with Ivymount's Unstuck and On Target program. I think it may run only during the school year. The curriculum really takes the HFA perspective and encompasses everything on your list and then some.

B-Social also addresses fundamental social skills including those on your list, but it tends to attract a mix of kids with different diagnoses. Since it's run by an SLP they focus more on the conversation side of things.

You're right that the Alvord Baker groups are probably better for kids looking to learn strategies to manage anxiety, stress and other big emotions. There is also an emphasis on self-esteem and positive thinking. This may be a group you may want to consider after doing something else first. DC has only been in the non-ASD groups which don't get into things like eye contact and speaking audibly, etc. but there are ASD-specific ones that may do that. You may want to talk to the intake coordinator about this.

Can't compare any of these to PEERs since DC hasn't done that but maybe someone else can compare and contrast it to one of the other programs above. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

PP here and I just looked up information on PEERs and it looks great. It looks like kind of a continuation of Ivymount's Unstuck and On Target program but geared more towards middle school and high school.
Sorry to go back and forth but I think you're right to focus on this one and Dr. Black specializes in HFA.

http://caatonline.com/peers/peers-for-teens/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here and I just looked up information on PEERs and it looks great. It looks like kind of a continuation of Ivymount's Unstuck and On Target program but geared more towards middle school and high school.
Sorry to go back and forth but I think you're right to focus on this one and Dr. Black specializes in HFA.

http://caatonline.com/peers/peers-for-teens/

Thank you PP. Your perspective is very helpful, and I think you are right that PEERS would be a good place to start. Now gearing ourselves up to face the expense, which is considerable.

[Anonymous]

My student with HFA did a social group every Friday lunch for 3 years in middle school. I think it was very helpful just to have that social outlet. They called it "Comic Book Club" and played games and talked about geeky stuff. Some NT kids joined voluntarily.