Networking for dummies (ok, just one dummy)

[Anonymous]

After being a SAHM for several years, then working part-time with DH to start and run his own firm for the last 5 years, it's time to try to get a "real" job again. I had a federal job before kids but where we live now that's not really an option, so I'm doubly starting over.

An acquaintance (our kids were at the same elementary, we've carpooled and belong to the same pool so we're friendly but have never socialized) works at a fairly high level for an organization that I'm interested in working for. DH thinks I should call her and take her to lunch to ask about job possibilities and general advice for getting into that type of employment. He says that most people like to help if they can, and she's a very warm and friendly person, but I feel weird doing this. To me it seems forced and I can't imagine the conversation being anything but awkward--although to be honest I'm very introverted and most of my conversations with people I don't know well are awkward.

Is this what people do? I got my pre-kids job by interning in grad school and then they hired me when I graduated, so I've never really had to network before.

[Anonymous]

Yes, this is what people do. Maybe suggest coffee rather than lunch (or coffee or lunch, and let her choose), to keep the time commitment on her part shorter. Make it first about asking for ideas in her field, rather than specifically about her company, so she does not feel put on the spot that you want a job with her. And assuming it goes well, hopefully she will give you some names of other people to talk to, and it will grow from there. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Your husband is mostly right. What you're looking to do is called an informational interview if you want to run some google searches for tips. You should absolutely NOT ask her about job opportunities at her company during this meeting. Assuming she's not an idiot and she likes you, she will connect those dots herself.

Instead, ask her about the industry, what skills you should work on or highlight on your resume for the types of positions you're pursuing, what industry groups you should join or conferences you should attend, etc. Ask her about her experience with her company and anything she knows about similar organizations, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would hate that OP! That's not how you network. You network by making real relationships with people (which you have done), and if a job is available in her organization, tell her you are applying and can she put in a good word/flag your resume to the right people. Networking is about building honest relationships with people. Doing coffee or lunch so she can help you is annoying.

[Anonymous]

I agree that most people like to be helpful if they can. However your approach should emphasize what you have to offer. If it's "I really have no clue what this field entails but I think I'm interested..." save that for someone you know better.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest deciding on the field you want to be in and attending a conference. There are always conferences in DC. Maybe even fly to one in another city if possible, and make a vacation out of it if it's a fun city.

I agree, just meeting someone you aren't close to for this purpose is awkward as she knows exactly what you're looking for. I personally find conferences much more useful because people are relaxed, usually sitting around a nice hotel lobby or at an outdoor bar at a resort. Most assume people are looking for new opportunities at conferences, too.