Does your kid hang out with kids on his sports teams?

[Anonymous]

When I talk to friends, they all seem to have it worked out where their son/daughter plays on a soccer/baseball/etc. team with one or two of their friends. After the games, they get together to eat/play/etc., or maybe they just carpool home together. My 5th grader doesn't hang with anyone on his team outside of the practices/games, mainly because none of them goes to his school and everyone is so busy. So, while my son has this extracurricular activity that he enjoys, it doesn't translate to additional friendships beyond the the field.

Is my thinking distorted on this? Do all kids socialize with their teammates outside the practices/games, or is there anyone like my unfortunate son who goes to practices/games and that's the extent of the interactions? I feel like we somehow missed the boat. Or, does this just start to happen more as kids get older and move around to different teams? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Nope, my kid attended private school so most of the kids on the sports teams knew each other from school. My kid became more friendly with a couple kids over multiple seasons but it never translated to anything beyond the games or practices.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes? Like on the day she has a track meet she does.

[Anonymous]

My 4th grader has some playdates with members of her travel soccer team and has attended a few of their birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

my older kid (15) does- some of her best friends are from her travel sports team.

[Anonymous]

My son does hang out with his teammates but he's only ever played rec soccer and is with kids who have been his friends since kindergarten.

He has recently become good friends with one little league teammate, which evolved from first playing videogames together online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I talk to friends, they all seem to have it worked out where their son/daughter plays on a soccer/baseball/etc. team with one or two of their friends. After the games, they get together to eat/play/etc., or maybe they just carpool home together. My 5th grader doesn't hang with anyone on his team outside of the practices/games, mainly because none of them goes to his school and everyone is so busy. So, while my son has this extracurricular activity that he enjoys, it doesn't translate to additional friendships beyond the the field.

Is my thinking distorted on this? Do all kids socialize with their teammates outside the practices/games, or is there anyone like my unfortunate son who goes to practices/games and that's the extent of the interactions? I feel like we somehow missed the boat. Or, does this just start to happen more as kids get older and move around to different teams? Thanks.

That's been our experience with sports teams too. Personally, I see sports at a younger age more as a stepping stone for middle/high school sports where they have a more realistic shot of making real friendships with their teammates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader has some playdates with members of her travel soccer team and has attended a few of their birthday parties.

Do they go to the same school? To me that seems key. If the kids are able to see each other enough outside of practice, being on a sports team can cause a friendship to bloom. But if they don't have the opportunity to see each other outside of that it really doesn't..

Op, this might change once your son gets into texting. At this point friendships tend to start even among kids who don't normally see each other on a regular basis. My 12 year old daughter attended theatre camp with kids who all attended different schools. And they actively communicated on a group chat for about 6 months after the camp ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader has some playdates with members of her travel soccer team and has attended a few of their birthday parties.

Do they go to the same school? To me that seems key. If the kids are able to see each other enough outside of practice, being on a sports team can cause a friendship to bloom. But if they don't have the opportunity to see each other outside of that it really doesn't..

Op, this might change once your son gets into texting. At this point friendships tend to start even among kids who don't normally see each other on a regular basis. My 12 year old daughter attended theatre camp with kids who all attended different schools. And they actively communicated on a group chat for about 6 months after the camp ended.

that has not been the case for my son. He has two friends he has become close with-sleepovers, parties, get togethers etc but all three are from different schools. They play for the same club and clicked from the minute they met. It does happen.

[Anonymous]

Yes but only if in the same school. My daughter's club teammates came from all over. Happy to hang a bit while on the road but not when home - no time and too far. School sports were more fun for this reason.

[Anonymous]

They hang out with one or two friends sometimes, if they are at the same school or if they've been together on a team for a while. They get closer over time.

My older child has a team texting group where they hash out all the team gossip (rain delays, rides, game issues, try-outs, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately not. I know what you mean though other parents talk about how close their teams are and everyone is like family but we have never experienced this.

[Anonymous]

not too old to intervene. host a party or do laser tag outing etc. for all players then hope for a few would reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader has some playdates with members of her travel soccer team and has attended a few of their birthday parties.

Do they go to the same school? To me that seems key. If the kids are able to see each other enough outside of practice, being on a sports team can cause a friendship to bloom. But if they don't have the opportunity to see each other outside of that it really doesn't..

Op, this might change once your son gets into texting. At this point friendships tend to start even among kids who don't normally see each other on a regular basis. My 12 year old daughter attended theatre camp with kids who all attended different schools. And they actively communicated on a group chat for about 6 months after the camp ended.

that has not been the case for my son. He has two friends he has become close with-sleepovers, parties, get togethers etc but all three are from different schools. They play for the same club and clicked from the minute they met. It does happen.

I wonder if this might be a difference between club/travel sports and rec. club sports are a big commitment and parents might try harder to encourage friendships off the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader has some playdates with members of her travel soccer team and has attended a few of their birthday parties.

Do they go to the same school? To me that seems key. If the kids are able to see each other enough outside of practice, being on a sports team can cause a friendship to bloom. But if they don't have the opportunity to see each other outside of that it really doesn't..

Op, this might change once your son gets into texting. At this point friendships tend to start even among kids who don't normally see each other on a regular basis. My 12 year old daughter attended theatre camp with kids who all attended different schools. And they actively communicated on a group chat for about 6 months after the camp ended.

I'm the parent above with the 4th grader...
They go to different schools in NW DC---both public and private. The kids just clicked and they spend a lot of time together each week at practice and games.