Daughter says she has failed at her job

[Anonymous]

For 10 years she supervised an out of school club on behalf of a company. They were never supportive and rarely visited DD to check all was okay. She didn't have much equipment or resources to lead sessions and was responsible for a large group of children. They had an inspection this time last year and DD was told she was a bad leader, had no leadership and failed in all areas. Her company were shamed in the report for not supporting her but DD was too. DD said the managers at the company lied a lot through the inspection about what they did to support her. She was also told that this inspector is known for being very harsh.
Since then, she is working in her other job in the mornings as a daycare supervisor and as a part time dance coach but she has no faith in her abilities and is not working as many hours as she did. She said she worked her finger to the bone just to be told she was useless and talks of how future employers will see the report online should they find it. This whole experience has hardened her. It doesn't matter how many positive comments she has had in the past or how much the children adore her, she is just on a huge downer. Has anyone experienced a major set back at work like this? Please don't suggest she change career, she has worked with kids since she was 16 and is now 32.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry she is going through this. I am positive this is a closed door and she will find another job with better support soon. No worries, but I am sure it stings not to be appreciated while working so hard.

All will be ok.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that your daughter was treated so shabbily by her employers. It sounds very unfair. If she has worked for so long with children, she must be very good with them. I hope she feels better soon.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. I just feel that she has lost her ambition and will stay in these two jobs she has now as she has lost her confidence and doesn't want to go through the same experience. She is in 'Safe' jobs now which I don't think are great for her.

[Anonymous]

There's been a spate of articles lately about how losing your job can be as traumatic as a divorce. Give her some time to heal and space to grow back into her confidence. This experience may leave her shaken for a long time. If you are close enough to her, you might suggest she meet with a therapist for a short time to process what happened, or with a career coach to rebuild her confidence and move upwards and beyond this.

[Anonymous]

It's been a year. She didn't lose her job either but felt she had no choice to leave as she had become the scapegoat. She is working but she could do a lot better.

[Anonymous]

I think she should work with a career coach or counselor to rethink this. Her mistake was to continue plugging away without 1. demanding more from her employers or 2. quit to look for something else.

At that age, she should have developed a general idea of the standard in her field, and should refuse to work in sub-par conditions.

[Anonymous]

As I said, she did quit. She just isn't in great jobs now and has no confidence in her abilities/seems really fed up and disillusioned too. I would be exactly the same, I get it and maybe it is enough that she is simply working without being in an amazing job but I feel she is just really sad at the moment and lost her spark.

[Anonymous]

Well, OP, She has 2 jobs as you said. Might not be up to your standards but she had the strength to carry on working so good on her. Maybe she has decided she is better off in a non pressured environment. She is obviously good with children so how about being a nanny or classroom aid if she wants to switch jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I said, she did quit. She just isn't in great jobs now and has no confidence in her abilities/seems really fed up and disillusioned too. I would be exactly the same, I get it and maybe it is enough that she is simply working without being in an amazing job but I feel she is just really sad at the moment and lost her spark.

10 years, you said. That's waaay to long to work for that type of employer. You both sound very non-combative and fatalistic, and that kind of personality gets squashed in the workplace nowadays. People will continue to take advantage of her if she doesn't advocate for herself and show some leadership skills.

[Anonymous]

The company was taken over by another one for the last 4 years so please don't judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's been a spate of articles lately about how losing your job can be as traumatic as a divorce. Give her some time to heal and space to grow back into her confidence. This experience may leave her shaken for a long time. If you are close enough to her, you might suggest she meet with a therapist for a short time to process what happened, or with a career coach to rebuild her confidence and move upwards and beyond this.

You kust have to get used to it. DH and I are voth in sales. Every job loss is an opportunity to learn and get better. In sales (at least my space, IT companies with high wall street visibility) its not a catastrophe if a job is lost. Stanf up, brush off, and move into bigger and better.

[Anonymous]

Again, it was not a job loss, She quit.