Men who are ready and dive happily into relationships

[Anonymous]

How do you spot/date these guys?

The experience that my friends and I have had is with guys who we have had to chase on some level. They either do not want to be boyfriends, or they are not ready to propose even though they tell you they love you more than anything etc. Don't text and call very often etc

I saw another girl I know whose courtship was completely dissimilar to the pattern I am familiar with.

Guy saw her, was interested but had a girlfriend. Guy breaks up with girlfriend. Guy pursues the girl for about a year until she says yes. He texts/calls all the time, initiates dates, showers her with presents, includes him with his family all without her having to say or do anything.

What alternate reality is this? I want a guy like that!!

[Anonymous]

Thigh gap.

[Anonymous]

You must not be worth pursuing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must not be worth pursuing.

[Anonymous]

Guys are not just blanket "ready to pursue" these things. They have to want these things WITH YOU.

[Anonymous]

They're out there. You're just giving your attention and your time to the wrong ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you spot/date these guys?

The experience that my friends and I have had is with guys who we have had to chase on some level. They either do not want to be boyfriends, or they are not ready to propose even though they tell you they love you more than anything etc. Don't text and call very often etc

I saw another girl I know whose courtship was completely dissimilar to the pattern I am familiar with.

Guy saw her, was interested but had a girlfriend. Guy breaks up with girlfriend. Guy pursues the girl for about a year until she says yes. He texts/calls all the time, initiates dates, showers her with presents, includes him with his family all without her having to say or do anything.

What alternate reality is this? I want a guy like that!!

u either a ho or ugly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you spot/date these guys?

The experience that my friends and I have had is with guys who we have had to chase on some level. They either do not want to be boyfriends, or they are not ready to propose even though they tell you they love you more than anything etc. Don't text and call very often etc

I saw another girl I know whose courtship was completely dissimilar to the pattern I am familiar with.

Guy saw her, was interested but had a girlfriend. Guy breaks up with girlfriend. Guy pursues the girl for about a year until she says yes. He texts/calls all the time, initiates dates, showers her with presents, includes him with his family all without her having to say or do anything.

What alternate reality is this? I want a guy like that!!

This is how guys respond to women who are out of their league. So yeah, you can get a guy like this but you end up settling.

[Anonymous]

You have to "next" every guy who doesn't show adequate interest. This is how you'll eventually come across that difficult-to-find person who you are interested in who also is really interested in you.

Don't give anyone more than 1-2 months of dating without having a pretty clear idea they are really into you and consistent about showing it.

Also, don't do any chasing or pursuing. Just be very responsive to the moves they make. If you do the chasing, you won't get to see for yourself whether they are very interested in you..

Finally, try to identify 1-2 qualities that are a big deal to most women but are not a big deal to you. I'll illustrate this with an example - My husband is really a great "catch" but he is "only" 5'10." A lot of women insist on someone quite tall and height was never a really big thing to me. So I didn't focus on tall guys. I focused on guys a little bit shorter so I didn't have to sell myself short (see what I did there? )on other things I cared about. I have another friend who likes both white guys and asian guys. Since asian guys are less in demand (no offense asian guys...) she decided to focus on them. She just married a wonderful asian guy who she is very attracted to and treats her like gold.

Those are my tips!

[Anonymous]

This is how it works in the world of men. You meet women:

- some are haughty and stuck on themselves or
- you like them and they don't like you, or vice versa

You give up on it for a while.

Then, almost by serendipity you meet someone. She seems genuine, honest, open, easy to talk to, has a career, etc. You see the potential and things roll from there.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs. If you have to chase, move on. The right guy will pursue you. Trust me, you'll know the difference as soon as you experience it.

[Anonymous]

If a guy breaks up with his girlfriend to pursue you, he can break up with you for the next love interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to "next" every guy who doesn't show adequate interest. This is how you'll eventually come across that difficult-to-find person who you are interested in who also is really interested in you.

Don't give anyone more than 1-2 months of dating without having a pretty clear idea they are really into you and consistent about showing it.

Also, don't do any chasing or pursuing. Just be very responsive to the moves they make. If you do the chasing, you won't get to see for yourself whether they are very interested in you..

Finally, try to identify 1-2 qualities that are a big deal to most women but are not a big deal to you. I'll illustrate this with an example - My husband is really a great "catch" but he is "only" 5'10." A lot of women insist on someone quite tall and height was never a really big thing to me. So I didn't focus on tall guys. I focused on guys a little bit shorter so I didn't have to sell myself short (see what I did there? )on other things I cared about. I have another friend who likes both white guys and asian guys. Since asian guys are less in demand (no offense asian guys...) she decided to focus on them. She just married a wonderful asian guy who she is very attracted to and treats her like gold.

Those are my tips!

I know a number of women who have tried this strategy to avoid "selling themselves short" (i.e. marrying a less successful man), but it rarely works. Very successful guys don't take a discount on market value just because they're short. I know a wealthy guy who's 5'5", divorced and with 2 adult kids he spends a lot of time with. Women pursue him endlessly.

Most women who are able to marry a guy above their league did some subtle pursuing along the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to "next" every guy who doesn't show adequate interest. This is how you'll eventually come across that difficult-to-find person who you are interested in who also is really interested in you.

Don't give anyone more than 1-2 months of dating without having a pretty clear idea they are really into you and consistent about showing it.

Also, don't do any chasing or pursuing. Just be very responsive to the moves they make. If you do the chasing, you won't get to see for yourself whether they are very interested in you..

Finally, try to identify 1-2 qualities that are a big deal to most women but are not a big deal to you. I'll illustrate this with an example - My husband is really a great "catch" but he is "only" 5'10." A lot of women insist on someone quite tall and height was never a really big thing to me. So I didn't focus on tall guys. I focused on guys a little bit shorter so I didn't have to sell myself short (see what I did there? )on other things I cared about. I have another friend who likes both white guys and asian guys. Since asian guys are less in demand (no offense asian guys...) she decided to focus on them. She just married a wonderful asian guy who she is very attracted to and treats her like gold.

Those are my tips!

I know a number of women who have tried this strategy to avoid "selling themselves short" (i.e. marrying a less successful man), but it rarely works. Very successful guys don't take a discount on market value just because they're short. I know a wealthy guy who's 5'5", divorced and with 2 adult kids he spends a lot of time with. Women pursue him endlessly.

Most women who are able to marry a guy above their league did some subtle pursuing along the way.

I am PP. It worked for me, and I didn't do any pursuing. I didn't say my husband was a CEO at 32 either, so maybe your definition of "very successful" is not what I meant by "catch." I am very pleased with my lot, though.

In any case I'll add that if you pursue your husband before marriage you'll be doing it afterwards, too... something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Women who are most successful at dating know how to subtly pursue while always making it seem like man's idea. Asian women are skilled at this, which is why they are able to marry better than their looks would usually allow.