Need advice on Prom
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Anonymous
| I am not familiar with all the Prom rituals, joys and dangers! As an immigrant mom, I am trying to make sure DD(who is not a senior, but going with a group of girlfriends), kind of a last minute invite by a friend, has a nice and safe fun time. DD is a very nice kid, but immature and not savvy of thinking anybody could set her up, sneak her a drink with alcohol, or even drugs and she is a very popular girl, but, naive. I am not saying this as a mom who has no clue, but she has ADHD and that causes her issues with interpreting people's intentions and appropriate responses. She thinks everybody is nice for the most part. Admirable trait, but sometimes a liability. She asked me why would anybody go to a hotel room during prom? So, please give a mom advice on how to advise her of what to watch out(I am clueless too). I want her to have a nice and safe time, but I want to warn her of what to pay ton of attention too, while at the same time me not being insane and following her around like a nut case and ruining the evening. Prom is in a hotel Downtown. Many, many thanks from well meaning, but possibly overreacting mom. |
Anonymous
|
1) She is probably not as naive as you think. I assume she goes to school with these same kids, right?
2) Give her a curfew and hold her to it. 3) Tell her she is to call you to pick her up if the party moves to a location you have not pre-approved, or if she sees any of the friends she is attending with using alcohol. |
Anonymous
| 4) Give her enough money to get herself home via Uber/cab if necessary. |
Anonymous
| Tell her the truth - you go to a hotel room for sex. Watch out for any open drinks - don't outright ban drinking but tell her she is never to drink from an open cup, she needs to open the bottles/cans and hold on to them as someone could spike them. I would tell her to call you and you will come get her no questions/consequences if she wants to come home. |
Anonymous
That is great advice. I didn't think of that. Only unopened cans. Yes, I will pick her up. I did tell her that 11 is when I will pick her up. She is a sophomore and only 15. |
Anonymous
And don't forget to tell her, if she does decide to drink, not to accept a drink from anyone. Say, "sure, show me where I can get one for myself." I've taught my kid the dangers of underage drinking and I've explained why I hope she chooses not to drink (alcoholism on my side of the family in several relatives), but I don't want to just be blind to the fact that she may and if that happens, I want to teach her the proper drinking rules. Also, mention that sometimes people go to hotel rooms during prom to party. It's harder to get alcohol in the prom than in the hotel. Our prom has a rule that once you leave the ballroom, you can't come back in. That stops the kids from going in and out drinking, but there have been issues in past years with parents renting hotel rooms and the kids leaving the prom early to just drink and party in the hotel room. And remind her that the police are extra vigilant on prom night and have more patrols out. They don't hesitate to issue underage drinking tickets when called to a loud, rowdy hotel room. I think the fact that you're picking her up at 11 is good. Most of the problems tend to happen later when the prom ends. |
Anonymous
|
1. If you put your drink down, get a fresh one.
2. Hold the drink with your palm covering the top of it. 3. If you go to the bathroom, get a fresh drink afterwards. 4. If anyone winks at you while handing you the drink, don't drink it. 5. Stay where there are adults. No hotels, motels, or someone's house during/after prom. 6. If anything seems like it might be wrong, get out. Send her with money to get home, and program the name and number of a cab company into her phone. Give her a curfew. |
Anonymous
| I would only allow her to attend the school sanctioned prom events and not attend any private parties. This should eliminate concerns with alcohol and potential assault that you are concerned about. It also allows her to test the waters, attend the event, but be more relaxed and just have fun with her friends, which at 15 should be more than enough! |
Anonymous
| I would definitely make sure she understands that kids get hotel rooms to have sex and drink/use drugs. She needs to know the facts to be able to make an informed decision. |
Anonymous
|
not sure how prom work's at your DD's school. back in the stone age when i was a student you needed to be a senior (or junior, if it was a JR prom or joint JR/SR) OR the +1 of the eligible student.
No groups of underclassmen were able to attend. Was your DD invited to prom or invited to the prom party? |
Anonymous
|
PP
edited: some schools (or clusters) have all-night, chaperoned activities, is that what she's been invited to? |
Anonymous
I didn't even know there was different party. I am clueless. There is a limo rented, that I know to hotel, which I would prefer to drive her. They are taking pictures around 5 and then going to the hotel where prom is being held. How would I find out this late(since she wasn't planning to go, but got invited 2 days ago for a girls only going party), who do I call at school? Thanks so much. |
Anonymous
When I was in high school, everyone went to prom, even though it was "Junior Prom". But it was a small town and the prom was in the school gym. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I found PTSA info on the website, and yes it states that orom is at the same hotel my DD told me about. So this is the prom. I assume there will be chaperones there? I am reading it all now. I know they buses to and from, PTA has an after prom party at the school. Thanks for all advice, if anybody can add more please do. Until now, I thought Proms were in high school gyms... |
Anonymous
| OP again, after Prom party is not at the school, it is somewhere else, but she is not going there. I think Prom on its own is plenty for a 15 year old. |