Ever been in love with a Peter Pan?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is kind, affectionate, loving, and so much fun. This has been the best year of my life.

He is also newly unemployed, obese, has significant debt, and doesn't seem motivated to change any of it.

Do people like this ever change?

[Anonymous]

People only change if there is an incentive. The way you describe this guy with the weight and debt and ndicates a lack of discipline.

[Anonymous]

Probably ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably ADHD.

Does treating the ADHD help with motivation?

[Anonymous]

OMG run in the other direction, OP.

[Anonymous]

Do not marry him. Do not move in together. Do not get pregnant.

Dating Peter Pan is fine, but you should marry and have children an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not marry him. Do not move in together. Do not get pregnant.

Dating Peter Pan is fine, but you should marry and have children an adult.

+1

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to these people. They are bitter. The strength of your love can change him and inspire him to become an entirely different person than he has been his entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to these people. They are bitter. The strength of your love can change him and inspire him to become an entirely different person than he has been his entire life.

But you are telling OP that wagering her whole life on this "what if" is okay. OP, there are other threads about red flags at the beginning. This is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't listen to these people. They are bitter. The strength of your love can change him and inspire him to become an entirely different person than he has been his entire life.

Maybe, but more likely you need to love the person you marry as is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend is kind, affectionate, loving, and so much fun. This has been the best year of my life.

He is also newly unemployed, obese, has significant debt, and doesn't seem motivated to change any of it.

Do people like this ever change?

Troll

Either turn into his mommy for a long term relative bishop or have fun and get the hell out.

[Anonymous]

Was he fired from his job? And is he disinterested in finding another? That would certainly concern me.

But the bottom line is - he is who he is. If you stay with him, expect that he won't change. Can you handle a lifetime of this? If so, stay and if not, go.

[Anonymous]

Op here, thanks for the comments/

Marriage would be far, far away, if ever. I already have kids so my current plan is not to commit unless he has been in therapy and appears to be able to make these changes, long-term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was he fired from his job? And is he disinterested in finding another? That would certainly concern me.

But the bottom line is - he is who he is. If you stay with him, expect that he won't change. Can you handle a lifetime of this? If so, stay and if not, go.

He was laid off, but performance may have been an issue.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't do it. A month after dating my ex, I was ready to call it quits. We took a weekend trip and he forgot his luggage at home and blamed it on me not reminding him to bring it. He said his favorite meal was anything his mom cooked and was upset that he couldn't fly home to Florida every month. Plus he was comfortable making a 50k salary. This guy is in his early 30s! Things are only going to get worse OP, I'd end it.