How Would You Feel?

[Anonymous]

So a friend announces on Facebook that sadly her Mother just passed away.

Many people express their sincere condolences to her.

One friend even added, "I am SO VERY sorry for your loss. God! I honestly
don't know what I would do without my Mom!!"

Your thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Meaning does this comment seem rude or insensitive to you guys?

[Anonymous]

I do think it seems insensitive, but hopefully the bereaved will take it in the spirit it was most likely intended. If someone posted that on my page, I would understand they were just trying to offer me condolences in their own way. My mom is 89 and I've wondered whether or not I would even post about her death on Facebook. To me, that just seems like something so personal that I'm not sure I would want to open it up for comments on social media.

[Anonymous]

It does seem insensitive. It reminds me of a thread on this forum- "What would you say to your deceased parent if you could speak one last time?" There are several responses along the lines of, "Gosh, I feel so bad for you all! I love my dad so much, I can't imagine life without him!"

They're sincere, but misplaced.

Don't dwell on it. The friend problem just didn't know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Insensitive, but people can be clueless idiots around death. Our culture seems to try to deny that natural part of the life cycle, leaving people like that to clumsily try to express some sort of sympathy only to fail miserably.

[Anonymous]

It places the thoughts and feelings of the person expressing condolences front and center -- which is egotistical. It's not a condolence, it's an expression of fear. It's an "How can I make this all about me?"

[Anonymous]

1. Facebook is not an appropriate place for messages of grief like this

2. the comment is a very young person's comment - self referential.

3. Getting bent out of shape about comments like this is just misdirected grief.

[Anonymous]

A well meaning but clueless person that I had never met before pretty much said the same thing to me an hour before I had to give the eulogy at my 38 year old sister's funeral. I was polite, quickly moved on, but inside I was like, "WTF?!?!"

I took it as a teachable moment in what NOT to say to a grieving person, but I didn't dwell on it.

A better way to express it would be, "I can only imagine the devastation of the loss of your beloved mother, and I hope you find comfort and strength in her memory."

[Anonymous]

Wow that's awful. She's obviously an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow that's awful. She's obviously an idiot.

+ 100

[Anonymous]

I will never understand why people can't take comments in the spirit they are meant. Obviously this person is sad for the woman who lost her mother. She is not expressing it well, but the intent is good.

I would not give it a second thought.

[Anonymous]

It's not the greatest way to express sympathy, but this person clearly meant well. She/he is trying to empathize. Some people are better at social interaction and tact than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Facebook is not an appropriate place for messages of grief like this

2. the comment is a very young person's comment - self referential.

3. Getting bent out of shape about comments like this is just misdirected grief.

Agree with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Many people post when someone dies.

I see nothing wrong with this.

At all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many people post when someone dies.

I see nothing wrong with this.

At all.

+1

The response was slightly off, but hopeful the responder meant well.

Many people post on FB as a way of covering many friends, and/or a large family. Many people have their community spread out (not just in their own neighborhood - how awful would that be?)