Making scouts, religious education, and similar groups socially successful

[Anonymous]

In the thread about social skills groups, there was a discussion about scouting and religious youth groups being more successful. Can you share your tips for making those groups successful? In our experience, they are run by unskilled adults and the social dynamics tend to be the same as at school -- my child not initiating any social connections and being largely ignored by the other kids.

I'd love ideas I can pass along to the leaders (especially religious education, where the teachers are motivated).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the thread about social skills groups, there was a discussion about scouting and religious youth groups being more successful. Can you share your tips for making those groups successful? In our experience, they are run by unskilled adults and the social dynamics tend to be the same as at school -- my child not initiating any social connections and being largely ignored by the other kids.

I'd love ideas I can pass along to the leaders (especially religious education, where the teachers are motivated).

With scouts, there is quite a bit of parental guidance. DH volunteered heavily. We switched troops when DC went from cub scouts to scouts. The troop we went to was more accommodating. Plus, if your child's issues are more severe, there are special needs troops. Scouts was particularly good for DC because he liked to check things off, so he was motivated to moved through the program. It also teaches kids to interact with adults on there own and builds leadership skills.

For our congregation, it was part of our semi-annual teacher training. Professional educators/child therapists in our congregation would do seminars on inclusion and give different ways to deal with different issues. Different ages had different examples and things to do. It was also part of a congregationwide mentality/ education to practice radical hospitality. Again, we heavily volunteered, but tried to not teach our DC as his behavior was worse if we taught ( which is common in the early years with most children).

I found it easier to find a congregation that practiced and taught inclusiveness, than to start from scratch at one that did not. It takes years of hard work to get it into the culture.

[Anonymous]

In our church we have volunteers that teach the sunday school, so we got congregants who are special ed teachers to give trainings on how to be more inclusive and help all types of kids be successful during 'class.'

A couple kids had more serious issues, and several teachers volunteered to basically be one-on-ones for those kids (rotating) so the child and the parents can be fully included in the community.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you mean by "socially successful?" Do you mean, make it socially cool to attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you mean by "socially successful?" Do you mean, make it socially cool to attend?

No, I mean make it so my child is socially included and makes friends.

Our Sunday school is taught by a lot of college students who don't always stick around for more than a few years. I wonder if I could get them more training somehow.

[Anonymous]

I've found martial arts to be good for my child. They like rules and earning the belts have helped with self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Scouts worked well for my DS, at least as far as inclusion. He enjoyed it, was included in-the-moment, and not ostracized. True friendships didn't come until later (much later). There's a lot of parent involvement in the early years, and my DH helped/navigated. I know that he raised the issue explicitly with a few other dads and was always on the lookout for small and understated ways to increase inclusion. A few other dads specifically talked with their boys and encouraged positive / inclusive behavior. When he went to boyscouts, two older boys buddied with him. We'd work with him between meetings about how to ask for help and how to leverage his buddies, and then stayed out of it. (At least as far as the meetings go. Those boys - now young men - have my unending gratitude and support in whatever ways I can.) There's no reason this couldn't happen with other activities, but I think part of why scouts and religious ed groups are a good target is that inclusiveness is fundamental to the activity, not just a tacked on bonus.

[Anonymous]

DS has ADHD and I haven't noticed any issues with being included in Scouts. The motto after all is "due your best". That applies to completing tasks and interacting with your peers. We are fortunate to have found the right pack that really holds true to the motto.