Any other onlies dislike being alone?

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child myself and I really dislike being alone. Always have, probably because I spent so much time alone in childhood (well my mother was always home but I always felt alone, emotionally and existentially).

Now at 40 for decades I have disliked being alone. I fill our weekends up with friends, get togethers and playdates because if I'm not around people I just feel awful.

Can anyone else relate?

[Anonymous]

You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only and I want to be alone! Except now I can't be because I have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an only child myself and I really dislike being alone. Always have, probably because I spent so much time alone in childhood (well my mother was always home but I always felt alone, emotionally and existentially).

Now at 40 for decades I have disliked being alone. I fill our weekends up with friends, get togethers and playdates because if I'm not around people I just feel awful.

Can anyone else relate?

I'm not sure it's a function of being an only.
I have a sibling, and I can't get enough alone time.
My DH has a sibling and he's like you. On the rare occasions we end up spending the weekend "just with family" he ends up making impromptu plans with friends on Sunday night just to be around more people.
Our DD is an only and is a mix. Some weekends she wants to pack with people from second to second, others she wants to hang out in the house and just be with us, and still others she'll declare the basement "hers" and spend hours by herself working on some project or another.

I think it's more personality driven, although I suspect if DD weren't an only she'd have fewer "must be around more people" times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

An introvert that fills weekends with play dates, get togethers and friends. Uh, that isn't introverted. Feeling drained would be a normal byproduct of all of that socializing!

[Anonymous]

Only here who has always loved it. It's hard for me to have a spouse and kid because my alone time has dried up.

[Anonymous]

Being an only sucked especially because I was raised by a single mom with a borderline personality disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only here who has always loved it. It's hard for me to have a spouse and kid because my alone time has dried up.

I second that!

My husband is out for the day and I've sent my child down into the playroom to watch a movie in the name of "mommy needs alone time".

I'm an only who's never minded being alone.

[Anonymous]

My kid is an only, and he likes being alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

OP - I don't think you know what an introvert is. If you are drained from contact, and unhappy alone, perhaps what you need is therapy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

OP - I don't think you know what an introvert is. If you are drained from contact, and unhappy alone, perhaps what you need is therapy?

There is such a thing as an introverted extrovert. I am one. I crave other people, but know I want alone time too. I'm always torn.

[Anonymous]

I'm an only child and am fine being alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

OP - I don't think you know what an introvert is. If you are drained from contact, and unhappy alone, perhaps what you need is therapy?

PP, you are incorrect .
I'm in only married to an introvert and he expresses the same feelings quite often. I know a number of other introvert who say the same thing.
It may not be true for everyone who identified as an introvert but it most certainly is common.
And by the way I am an only who when I was single was used to being alone knew how to enjoy my alone time but I've been married for number of years now and I've sort of lost my mojo in that regard and I'm trying to get it back .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you are extroverted, you are that way because you were born that way, not because of being an only.

OP here. Definitely more of an introvert. I prefer one on one time with friends, small groups versus large groups and I usually feel drained after socializing. But I just hate to be alone in general.

OP - I don't think you know what an introvert is. If you are drained from contact, and unhappy alone, perhaps what you need is therapy?

PP, you are incorrect .
I'm in only married to an introvert and he expresses the same feelings quite often. I know a number of other introvert who say the same thing.
It may not be true for everyone who identified as an introvert but it most certainly is common.
And by the way I am an only who when I was single was used to being alone knew how to enjoy my alone time but I've been married for number of years now and I've sort of lost my mojo in that regard and I'm trying to get it back .

NP, And I don't think PP is incorrect at all. Someone who identifies as an introvert but needs company is not truly an introvert, and honestly might need therapy to understand why they identify that way. Is it because she is naturally an extrovert, but due to opportunities growing up, often only had herself to socialize with? You can be an extrovert but only comfortable with small and intimate groups.

I agree OP, that therapy might be the way for you. It may be a function of how you grew up. I was an only and cherish my time alone, as few and far between those moments seem these days. I dread when I have long periods of time of mandatory fun in groups (let's say a family vacation).