I don't know what to wear on my date

[Anonymous]

If you were going to a bar to hear a band play, for a first date, what would you wear? Jeans? What kind of shoes? Where would you go to get them (Nova is best for me)

Also, I am trying to figure out what kind of top to wear. I am busty and it's best to cover my upper arms as well. Any suggestions as to where to find a summer top? I am usually all work clothes or t shirts, all work shoes or birkenstocks

I would like to be feminine but not over dressed. Need to walk the line between sexy and over the top. This is my first date in a very, very long time. Thank you for any help!

[Anonymous]

I'd go with jeans. The "sleeves" requirement is a little tough given that everyone seems to be showing sleeveless tops. But here's a few that I thought were cute and casual but not *too* casual. Beware of the tissue-thin tees at a lot of the stores - a bra built for a busty person is likely to be too obvious under a really thin knit.

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WomenBrowse/Women_Shop_By_Category/knitstees/texturedknits/PRDOVR~13621/13621.jsp

http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=20815&N=1200394&categoryId=183&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_183&loc=LN&showAll=Y&defaultColorNameFromCategory=Black&defaultSizeTypeFromCategory=Misses

http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=20021&N=1200260&categoryId=204&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_204&loc=LN&defaultColorNameFromCategory=Deep%20Rose&defaultSizeTypeFromCategory=Misses

As for shoes, it's a matter of personal preference. I'd suggest something comfortable if the night might involve a lot of standing, and/or dancing. There are some cute ballet flats out there right now, and with a black top and jeans, you could wear pretty much any color or pattern. I love this:

http://www.ninewest.com/Myles%2c-Take-Addl-30%25-Off/2973967,default,pd.html?cgid=2915398&itemNum=16

or a sandal, something kind of simple and comfortable:

http://www.ninewest.com/Zero/2974460,default,pd.html?cgid=1059&itemNum=93

Good luck! I haven't been on a date in ages (the single mom thing), so I'm rooting for you!

[Anonymous]

I'd wear a red top. As a general rule, I think guys dig color.

[Anonymous]

I'd definitely wear a nice pair of jeans.

I like the tops the PP suggested, esp the J Crew one. I also love this one: http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=397064&CategoryID=43328

The PP's peep-toe flats are adorable. Wedge-heel sandals would also be great with jeans and a nice top.

[Anonymous]

Wear red like the other pp suggested men love colour ! also try to dress sexy heels trendy jewelry gold would be great , mani pedi no pastels please ! blow dry your hair and have it coloured.

[Anonymous]

Wow you guys are great. 10:11 I REALLY appreciate your input.

I'm such a shmuck, I am really touched that you all helped a stranger like this. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Me, too. I've stopped posting questions on DCUM because there's always at least one snarky, mean-spirited response. But these thoughtful replies are helping restore my faith in a board where everyone is anonymous. Have a fantastic time, OP. I'm going to order the Ann Taylor top for myself.

Anonymous wrote:Wow you guys are great. 10:11 I REALLY appreciate your input.

I'm such a shmuck, I am really touched that you all helped a stranger like this. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Wow - you responders populate a new board here called "Personal Shopping." How fun to go kill some time online shopping for someone without spending any money!

[Anonymous]

10:11 PP here - I love the virtual personal shopping. I'm one of those people who watches a lot of "What Not to Wear" and likes to perform what I call "Metro Makeovers" in my head when I'm on the train or out in public places. Seriously - try it sometime - it's really entertaining to imagine people with different outfits, better haircuts, etc. I'm good at visualizing and picking out outfits, but I'm embarrassed to say that half the time when I go to work, I'm semi-frumped out. I blame the fact that I have a 9-mo old and usually have about 3 minutes to get myself ready in the morning! (luckily, nobody at work cares.)

so... the burning question is... how was the date? and what did you end up wearing?

[Anonymous]

It was great! I wore boot leg "Tummy Tuck" jeans, strappy high heels, and a shirt similar to the first one you picked out, but in another color.... I didn't have time to get the shirt. I did order it for our NEXt date however which we are planning now

He looked VERY happy to see me.

[Anonymous]

Oh, that is great!!

(I'm not 10:11, I'm 17:43, but I have been wondering how it went. Good for you - I'm sure you looked HOT!)

[Anonymous]

Op here,

Thanks again for all your support Do you want to help advise me, what to wear on date two - dinner and dancing? Not sure what kind of dancing yet, but it won't be overly formal/ballroom, more like a bar with a band.

I'm thinking:

Short cowboy boots and a knee length skirt or jeans
or, some kind of mid-heel dancing shoe and jeans. Anybody have recs for good dancing shoes? Something that won't fall off.

Issues of concern I can think of are: being able to keep my balance, and getting too hot and sweaty.

Thanks girls!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do cowboy boots with a skirt unless you're going to a country bar. cowboy boots with jeans (not tucked into the boots) are appropriate at most bars and good for dancing. (and a lot of the guys I know seem to find them sexy/cool.)

you could probably wear any cute shoe you have in which you walk easily - wouldn't go dancing in brand new shoes. (could be painful and slippery.) Smooth, not rubber sole, will move better on the dance floor.

on top, wear something that is (a) comfortable and has a bit of breathability, and (b) is in a color that won't show sweat. avoid light gray like the plague. (and silk can be difficult.) maybe something cotton with an empire waist and a loose, floaty peasant-style bottom?

http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=5438&vid=1&pid=662816
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=5438&vid=1&pid=675567&scid=675567012
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=382301&CategoryID=43328
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=387776&CategoryID=43328

you could also do a cute cotton dress, something casual, with ballet-type flats or sandals with a small-to-medium heel.

Glad your date went well! I'm excited for you! (and living vicariously.)

[Anonymous]

Thanks 10:18.

I got the first J Crew shirt in the mail today. It's quite nice; I think it's a keeper.

The problem I am having is I am seriously busty. I got measured for bras recently and I am an E cup! I couldn't believe it. I've been wearing C or D all these years.

Anyway, I have trouble finding something that isn't obscenely tight across the breasts but still falls against my belly to show that I am not terribly fat all over (curvy would describe it) ... Many shirts hang straight down from, the largest part of my breasts and so they look like maternity shirts.

I am going with tucked in, button down blouses a lot.

[Anonymous]

10:11/10:18 here: you should wear the J Crew shirt dancing - it seems like it would be nice and breezy so you wouldn't get too warm.
did you get it in black, or another color?

I have a friend who is in the same boat as you, except that she found out she was a size H! No sh*t. She may end up having a reduction at some point, due to frequent back pain. She ended up spending a fair amount of money on really good bras from a specialty lingerie store. (the one she likes is in Chicago.) They keep her measurements on file and she re-orders periodically. I'm a size A (after wearing B for years, then losing weight in the chest, argh), so I have the opposite problem as you. But like you, I have a hard time finding tops that look good. Some things flatten me out way too much and it seems like everybody is either naturally busty or has fake boobs these days, so a lot of shirts are made for that. I have to be really vigilant about bending over when I try stuff on - a lot of it totally gapes and then "free bra show!" Not a good thing.

My chestier friends tell me that button-down shirts are pretty much impossible - they either swim on you or gape. Button-downs are still tailored with guys in mind, I suspect. If you find a good button-down shirt that you like, buy several and take them to a tailor and see if they can be taken in so you're not tucking in as much material. (When you do tuck in shirts, start from the side seams and gather the material there so it doesn't create a front or back bulge under your pants/skirt. A photographer friend taught me that.) For winter, I would think that thick, stretchy knits are your friend - they'd cover the bust without straining, but also hug fairly close to the stomach so people could see you weren't heavy. v-necks are probably your best bet there, I would think. (oddly, they're flattering for the A-cup girls as well, go figure.)

The maternity-looking shirt has been in for a couple of years now, maybe because women are getting heavier and that's more flattering to the muffin-topped individual. It drove me crazy this past spring - I was done being pregnant and I'd gotten my body back, but all the stores were selling stuff that made me look pregnant again.

good luck on the date!