Do you have bank accounts/CCs that your partner doesn't know about?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I recently applied for, and received, a CC with a high balance. I also just opened a checking account. You? |
Anonymous
|
No.
What prompted you to do that, OP? Are you concerned about your marriage? |
Anonymous
|
No. We have our own credit cards, but know the balance of each other's credit cards even if we don't know all the purchases.
I have a paypal account with side hustle funds (usually hovers around $500) that I receive from doing online surveys / focus groups. I use it when I see facebook friends asking for donations for races or some such. That's about as secret as it gets. |
Anonymous
| No. And I would consider doing what you did on the same level of betrayal as cheating on me. Endangering the family via irresponsible spending is a GIANT betrayal of trust. |
Anonymous
I am. And to respond to the pp concerned with betrayal - my husband cheated on me. I consider this fair game. Having these accounts is a relief to me. |
Anonymous
| I may have a store credit card that I forgot to tell him about, but he knows about everything. He's not on my trusts because I'm not allowed to put a spouse on them. |
Anonymous
Agreed. It's exactly how I felt when I found out my husband had secret accounts. It shattered my trust, especially because we live paycheck to paycheck, so this wasn't a frivolous thing. I figured he was doing this because he was planning to leave me and the kids. So I was done with him. At this point he decided to tell me a bit about his double life of secret spending, his addictions, cheating, and pathological lying. Good times. |
Anonymous
| I do. My husband is financially irresponsible, and will blow through every last cent we have. I just tapped my secret bank account to pay our tax bill because he has spent our savings down to $60. |
Anonymous
PP here. This is despite having budget conversation after budget conversation, and me living within our agreed-upon budget. I consider what he is doing to be financial abuse. When I got a raise last year, I split my direct deposit. And when my parents send me money, it goes into the secret account. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP. So your OP is kind of misleading. You frame the question as if it is normal and not a sign of a collapsing relationship which is what it clearly is in your case. |
Anonymous
| yes and no. he knows I have an investment account that Icame into the marriage with but has never asked me about it. I actually haven't contributed to it at all because between paying our expenses and maxing out retirements and putting a little away for college there is no extra. I actually have access to all our finances and run things--he has his salary deposited to our account and has just one credit card, so I guess I could pull a fast one if I wanted to (or needed to). |
Anonymous
| We have a bunch of different accounts and CC's because we each have small businesses that we need to keep separate. We also have family accounts and CC's. It does get quite complicated but there is never an issue of trust. I'm very thrifty so my DH has never felt the need to discuss a budget. I manage all the day to day stuff and he manages our investments and we are both happy with the arrangement. At least twice a year he gives me a complete update on our investments so I'm not in the dark about them. On the other hand, he doesn't care who mows our lawn! |
Anonymous
| I don't, but if he cheated, I absolutely would. I'd start funneling money in there every chance I got. |
Anonymous
| Probably. Not because I am hiding anything, more because he doesn't care. He is the only one who works, so he could figure it out if he wanted. |
Anonymous
| Do you all not do joint taxes? |