Running inside the home - Reasonable expectations or not...

[Anonymous]

Let’s get the collective wisdom of DC Urban Parents.

Is it feasible / reasonable or not to expect a 4 yr old not to run inside the home? Note: much of the home has hard ceramic tiles.

If yes, what is an appropriate punishment?

If no, at what age is this a reasonable expectation?

[Anonymous]

i don't think it's reasonable to expect a 4 year old not to run in the house. if you're worried about the child falling and hurting him or herself you could have a rule about wearing shoes or socks with treads or something. or put down some areas rugs for a couple of years...

[Anonymous]

No. It is not reasonable. Obviously your child needs to expend a lot of energy. It probably isn't feasible for you to have your kid in a gym or a yard for all of that time, so running at home it is.

Banning it in a certain room or two is reasonable.

As for when this becomes appropriate to ban at home: not before your child is old enough to play outside without you. In my house, we just finished a mom-son wrestling match in the living room. It was fun. I wouldn't want to miss things like that.

[Anonymous]

I could not disagree more, I do not allow my son to run anywhere but the basement. That is the rule and he has followed it since he was 3. My daughter is nearly 2 and she "runs" and I won't enforce the rule until she is 3ish and really is "running" and can understand better the rules. I think it is totally appropriate. Children can lean boundaries and it is our job to teach them! Lots of outside time for a little one with high energy and basement if you have it for running seems reasonable. We do not have a punishment. It is the rule and repetition makes it a habit.

[Anonymous]

As a preschool teacher not running inside was always a rule for all of our children ages 2-5 and it was very quickly embraced and accepted by the children. I think it is totally acceptable to ask this of your child in your home as long as you do give him plenty of outside time. Young boys do need to get that energy out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a preschool teacher not running inside was always a rule for all of our children ages 2-5 and it was very quickly embraced and accepted by the children. I think it is totally acceptable to ask this of your child in your home as long as you do give him plenty of outside time. Young boys do need to get that energy out.

Beyond repeating the rule of no running inside, do you suggest any sort of punishment (e.g. time outs) when the running does occur?

[Anonymous]

When your child slips and hits his head on the corner of the coffee table and needs a trip the the ER, running in the house isn't going to be acceptable anymore. Trust me, we've been there. If you have a kid friendly basement room (one without coffee table) maybe let him run there. It's always hard on rainy days, but our house is not a gym and our kids know that. Tumble all you want in the playroom or backyard. We did time outs in the beginning when they didn't stop when we asked them now. Now it just takes a reminder.

[Anonymous]

I don't forbid it, but I restrict where it can occur - never in the kitchen which is all ceramic tile and never in the dining room which has lots of glass. As to punishment, my feeling is this. When they get wound up playing, they just forget they aren't allowed and you have to just repeat yourself over and over again. I would never punish for this unless I said stop running and one of my kids looked me in the face and defiantly continued.

[Anonymous]

My VERY ACTIVE 2 year old doesn't even need to be running to hit his head on the corner of something....already been to the ER for bumps on the head - he is so energetic - he cannot even walk in a straight line. I joke that we really need a house with nothing but beanbag chairs to sit on and padding on the walls!

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. I think of it as a house rule. Clear our plates, clean up messes, put away toys, don't slam doors, no food outside the kitchen, and no running in the house. I feel really strongly about a civil household (to the degree possible). Kind words, no hitting, and impulse control when possible. Sure kids should be able to burn off steam and run -- outside or in a basement. We made our basement a total kid friendly place.

[Anonymous]

Count me as another parent with a 'no running' rule. My peers, I have noticed, don't seem to have this rule. I really really notice this when their children come to my house for playdates.

Our only problems arise when it's evening and not at all practical to go outside and burn off energy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I agree. I think we are losing control to some extent of our kids sometimes! We are a shoes off, no running type of household. At the same time, I am a get messy outside, wrestle on the ground kind of mom as well. But I find myself really irritated with children (4 or over) who don't follow your house rules. I have had kids say on play dates, that they won't take off their shoes, etc. I really cannot imagine talking to adults like that as a child. I think we need some return to respect for adults, especially when a guest at someone's house. I guess I do feel really strongly about the whole manners thing. Hard work, but so worth it down the road!

[Anonymous]

OK, let's back up. We're talking about a couple of different issues here: Whether a no-running rule is reasonable and whether kids respect boundaries. I think we can agree that a no-running rule is a matter of parental preference and child personality. Not having such a rule is not indicative of a lack of discipline; it's indicative of different parenting priorities. So it's incumbent upon the parent with the no-running rule to make the rule clear to children visiting their home, and it's incumbent upon visiting children to obey that rule (and upon their parents to make clear that they are to obey other parents' rules). That other parents don't have this rule and their children come to a no-running home and start running is a problem only if you have made your rule clear and they disobey. Running in the home isn't a sign of incivility or poor impulse control -- visiting children's failure to follow house rules is.

[Anonymous]

We always remind the children there is no running in the house. I recently realized that I do not live by this rule, I wear socks so I can run a bit, and slide on the hardwood. I didn't even realize I was doing this until recently. No wonder my little ones keep running, I am setting a poor example.

[Anonymous]

Running in the house is a safety issue. My cousin's little girl is constantly running in the house and told her that if she hurts herself while doing it, she won't comfort her. As cruel as that may sound, she says she does it out of necessity. She did it recently when were over for dinner. She came running in the kitchen, slidding on her socks and bumped her head on the granite counter tops. The mom checked her for cuts, bruising, etc and then reminded her of the rule. The poor kid sat there rubbing her head, crying saying - I was running and now my mommy won't hug me. My husband and I looked at each other and felt really awkward. The mom defended herself by saying - I have 4 kids who are either crawling, climbing or running at all times, I can't spend all day comforting them when they've been breaking the rules. Not sure if I'll implement this issue with my kids, but this is how one family handles it.