Tell me about your more grown up kid that has ADHD, dyspraxia and a IQ a bit below the mean (95)?

[Anonymous]

This is what we are looking at now, and I am just feeling so fearful of the future at 5. Does anyone have a more grown up child with a similar profile? Everything is such a struggle right now. I can't even fathom high school. Let alone dating. I just can't imagine what life looks like for him.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has ADD (inattentive). She's 20. In high school during testing her IQ came back "low average"-- I do t recall specifically the number but I think it was high 90's.

High school was very tough. Lots of money on tutors.

Teenage years and even now in young adulthood, judgement and maturity is a few years behind.

She goes to community college and has a good part time job she's been able to keep for years. I do see big changes year to year in terms of better decision making. But it's still a struggle (things like money management are what we are dealing with now).

That said she really will be ok. It will take her longer to graduate but she will earn her bachelors. She has plans for the future. She's happy.

At five years old, you've got way too long of a journey ahead to stress now!
One thing I would suggest is saving money for tutors in high school. Don't count on the school to provide supports-not going to happen. We drained our 401k and savings getting my daughter through high school and that stings now....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADD (inattentive). She's 20. In high school during testing her IQ came back "low average"-- I do t recall specifically the number but I think it was high 90's.

High school was very tough. Lots of money on tutors.

Teenage years and even now in young adulthood, judgement and maturity is a few years behind.

She goes to community college and has a good part time job she's been able to keep for years. I do see big changes year to year in terms of better decision making. But it's still a struggle (things like money management are what we are dealing with now).

That said she really will be ok. It will take her longer to graduate but she will earn her bachelors. She has plans for the future. She's happy.

At five years old, you've got way too long of a journey ahead to stress now!
One thing I would suggest is saving money for tutors in high school. Don't count on the school to provide supports-not going to happen. We drained our 401k and savings getting my daughter through high school and that stings now....

This seriously makes me so happy. Thank you. She's doing wonderfully. You should be proud. That's a ton of hard work.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP... Im with you. Similar description for my 4 yr old and its hard not to worry about the future. I find myself mentally exhausted much of the time from just worrying and thinking about it all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP... Im with you. Similar description for my 4 yr old and its hard not to worry about the future. I find myself mentally exhausted much of the time from just worrying and thinking about it all!

So tiring. What are you guys doing for school?

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids who have struggled at various times. None are just like your child but I will share my experience. My MS son tested at an IQ of 98 and was diagnosed with LD and borderline ADHD in 3rd grade. Retested in late 5th after lots of remediation wirh an IQ of 123 and no ADHD. He was extremely upset and had shutdown when tested at 8. He was a very different child at 11. My youngest (9) has resolved apraxia/dyspraxia and has far exceeded any and all expectations. At 5, he couldn't communicate clearly and had significant motor planning issues that affected handwriting and coordination. He did years and years of ST and OT from age 2-7. Nobody who meets him today would ever guess. My oldest has ADHD and tested with an IQ of 100. She is now a HS student with a 3.7 in all honors classes in a highly regarded MCPS school. Clearly her IQ score was not valid.

Nobody can predict the future. I had so many sleepless nights worrying about each of my children. I wish I'd had a crystal ball.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 00:04. Can't predict the future and you have to be open to imagining a life and path for your child that isn't necessarily a 4-year college.

I worried and obsessed about my son's issues at that age. It got to where it was really out of control and proportion to the problems (which were severe). Therapy for me helped immensely, as did depression and anxiety medication.

The issues weren't any easier and my DC still had challenges, but I was able to better control my own thoughts and feelings.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids who have struggled at various times. None are just like your child but I will share my experience. My MS son tested at an IQ of 98 and was diagnosed with LD and borderline ADHD in 3rd grade. Retested in late 5th after lots of remediation wirh an IQ of 123 and no ADHD. He was extremely upset and had shutdown when tested at 8. He was a very different child at 11. My youngest (9) has resolved apraxia/dyspraxia and has far exceeded any and all expectations. At 5, he couldn't communicate clearly and had significant motor planning issues that affected handwriting and coordination. He did years and years of ST and OT from age 2-7. Nobody who meets him today would ever guess. My oldest has ADHD and tested with an IQ of 100. She is now a HS student with a 3.7 in all honors classes in a highly regarded MCPS school. Clearly her IQ score was not valid.

Nobody can predict the future. I had so many sleepless nights worrying about each of my children. I wish I'd had a crystal ball.

I am PP who said Im with OP and so emotionally exhausted...this is amazing to hear! My ds has motor planning issues and dyspraxia and this just gave me hope, so thank you for that!! Ive struggled finding the right speech therapist- any pointers on that? How many days per week did you do speech/ot during those years for your child with dyspraxia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP... Im with you. Similar description for my 4 yr old and its hard not to worry about the future. I find myself mentally exhausted much of the time from just worrying and thinking about it all!

So tiring. What are you guys doing for school?

Currently in an inclusion preschool class from public school system and I was told that when it comes time for K, mainstream with supports will be appropriate. Was told self contained would not be good for him because he so heavily relies on peer models, which I agree with. Just hope he will be able to keep up bc his processing time is slow. What are you doing for school?

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who recommended counseling. My DC (15, 10th grade) has resolved apraxia of speech and dyspraxia. Taking AP and honors classes now, does debate team and hates all sports. Has ADHD and anxiety which is treated with medication and therapy.

From age 20 months through 2nd grade ST was 3-5 times a week (private and school). Went down to 2x per week and ended in 5th grade.

OT started in K. 2x per week (1 private, 1 school). Dropped private in 4th. School OT for 5th taught keyboarding in anticipation of middle school.

[Anonymous]

HS senior who has ADHD and low 90s IQ. Also has anxiety. He is getting ready to graduate, but it's been a lot of work. We had one year of intense tutoring - like daily. It was due to reading comprehension issues which are essential from third grade on. Also have periodic medication issues - both getting the right thing and taking it because he hates it. Other difficult time was when the hormones kicked in - terrible depression on top of normal moodiness.

But, he is going to graduate. He has been working since he was 17 and saved enough money to buy his own car awhile ago. He got into the automotive program at MCPS Edison School of Technology, which was awesome. He will go full time at the garage where he works now as soon as school is done. He will continue his education in a certiffiecate program at MC and hopefully get at least one ASE certification. He's had an on again off again girlfriend since the summer before HS. He's also had some friends for the past few years, but not really before. Fortunately I have other kids and they all like each other.

The thing I've found is that I can never leave my guard down. I have to keep him moving to learn the skills he needs because it doesn't come naturally and no one else is going to teach him. For example, not too long ago he had been doing so well with money management that I let my guard down thinking he had the skills not to need me. After a few months, I found he had piddled away a few hundred dollars. He did very nice things with his money, but not things he could afford given that he will have school bills and he has a car so he needs emergency money. FWIW, I realized this when he was little so I started working with him in first grade and it really paid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS senior who has ADHD and low 90s IQ. Also has anxiety. He is getting ready to graduate, but it's been a lot of work. We had one year of intense tutoring - like daily. It was due to reading comprehension issues which are essential from third grade on. Also have periodic medication issues - both getting the right thing and taking it because he hates it. Other difficult time was when the hormones kicked in - terrible depression on top of normal moodiness.

But, he is going to graduate. He has been working since he was 17 and saved enough money to buy his own car awhile ago. He got into the automotive program at MCPS Edison School of Technology, which was awesome. He will go full time at the garage where he works now as soon as school is done. He will continue his education in a certiffiecate program at MC and hopefully get at least one ASE certification. He's had an on again off again girlfriend since the summer before HS. He's also had some friends for the past few years, but not really before. Fortunately I have other kids and they all like each other.

The thing I've found is that I can never leave my guard down. I have to keep him moving to learn the skills he needs because it doesn't come naturally and no one else is going to teach him. For example, not too long ago he had been doing so well with money management that I let my guard down thinking he had the skills not to need me. After a few months, I found he had piddled away a few hundred dollars. He did very nice things with his money, but not things he could afford given that he will have school bills and he has a car so he needs emergency money. FWIW, I realized this when he was little so I started working with him in first grade and it really paid off.

I am so inspired by posts like these. Damn. You are one awesome mom. You have literally carried that kid every step of the way and managed to set him up or success. I hope you are seriously, really, really proud and do something awesome for yourself to celebrate both of your achievements. You are amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the PP who recommended counseling. My DC (15, 10th grade) has resolved apraxia of speech and dyspraxia. Taking AP and honors classes now, does debate team and hates all sports. Has ADHD and anxiety which is treated with medication and therapy.

From age 20 months through 2nd grade ST was 3-5 times a week (private and school). Went down to 2x per week and ended in 5th grade.

OT started in K. 2x per week (1 private, 1 school). Dropped private in 4th. School OT for 5th taught keyboarding in anticipation of middle school.

Should have added - in early elementary IQ tests showed my son as below average. When he was tested with a nonverbal test, and later it was higher. I think the point of not getting ahead of yourself is still valid

[Anonymous]

Threads like these are why I read this forum. Thank you, posters, for sharing your experiences. It is more helpful than any OT or ST or IQ test data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has ADD (inattentive). She's 20. In high school during testing her IQ came back "low average"-- I do t recall specifically the number but I think it was high 90's.

High school was very tough. Lots of money on tutors.

Teenage years and even now in young adulthood, judgement and maturity is a few years behind.

She goes to community college and has a good part time job she's been able to keep for years. I do see big changes year to year in terms of better decision making. But it's still a struggle (things like money management are what we are dealing with now).

That said she really will be ok. It will take her longer to graduate but she will earn her bachelors. She has plans for the future. She's happy.

At five years old, you've got way too long of a journey ahead to stress now!
One thing I would suggest is saving money for tutors in high school. Don't count on the school to provide supports-not going to happen. We drained our 401k and savings getting my daughter through high school and that stings now....

High 90s is not "Low average"