Social anxiety and college

[Anonymous]

My college student is not enjoying the social aspect of the college experience due to severe social anxiety. No friends, no parties, no clubs or activities. We have done limited therapy but this student does not feel capable of changing. Does anyone have a success story for a student who coped with social anxiety at college or have any suggestions for nonthreatening activities an anxious student could feel comfortable participating in?

[Anonymous]

Does he/she have any hobbies at all? Try to make friends around shared interests. Even stuff like video games can be a way to bond with other people.

[Anonymous]

NP. I am worried that the same will happen to my DS. He has social anxiety and is starting college in the fall. He is refusing to tell this to the housing office and to the disability office, well, no surprise there about social anxiety kid not telling anything and especially this. He has turned 18 and I can't do much now. He will be playing on a team, but knows really only one kid on it. I would also appreciate all the advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, assuming that your kid is a freshman, maybe see if your DC can get into a second year living learning community? (My DD's school has four or five open to continuing students, not sure how common that is). Living in a freshman LLC helped my DD with social anxiety get off to a good start in school this year (and she was also very fortunate to become fast friends with her roommate and suite mate). The whole floor had two classes together the first semester, takes weekend trips, etc. I feel like she would have been lost without it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, assuming that your kid is a freshman, maybe see if your DC can get into a second year living learning community? (My DD's school has four or five open to continuing students, not sure how common that is). Living in a freshman LLC helped my DD with social anxiety get off to a good start in school this year (and she was also very fortunate to become fast friends with her roommate and suite mate). The whole floor had two classes together the first semester, takes weekend trips, etc. I feel like she would have been lost without it.

This is great advice! I have a shy/socially anxious DD and she got into a women in science/engineering LLC and loved it. It really helped her knowing people with common interests and that they all chose that community specifically.

She also made some close bonds on her alternative break service trip.

[Anonymous]

She needs to take anxiety medication. Then you have some hope of getting her into therapy.

Other suggestions are good but until her anxiety is treated she probably won't be able to do them.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. What medication? DC was prescribed something (I don't remember what) a year ago and was unhappy with the side effects and stopped taking it. Unfortunately DC is already a sophomore, and a living learning community is not an option. DC chose to live off campus next year, in large part to avoid the campus dining experience. DC feels everyone else's friend group is set, and it is too late to make friends. I keep encouraging DC to try a service group or church group or activities related to DC's interests (DC long ago gave up on all DC's extra curriculars from HS), but DC always has excuses for not doing so. I just feel so sad for DC because I know DC is sad. I want to encourage more therapy this summer but don't want to send a negative message ("there's something wrong with you"). Thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My college student is not enjoying the social aspect of the college experience due to severe social anxiety. No friends, no parties, no clubs or activities. We have done limited therapy but this student does not feel capable of changing. Does anyone have a success story for a student who coped with social anxiety at college or have any suggestions for nonthreatening activities an anxious student could feel comfortable participating in?

Yes, your child was me. It's time for medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the suggestions. What medication? DC was prescribed something (I don't remember what) a year ago and was unhappy with the side effects and stopped taking it. Unfortunately DC is already a sophomore, and a living learning community is not an option. DC chose to live off campus next year, in large part to avoid the campus dining experience. DC feels everyone else's friend group is set, and it is too late to make friends. I keep encouraging DC to try a service group or church group or activities related to DC's interests (DC long ago gave up on all DC's extra curriculars from HS), but DC always has excuses for not doing so. I just feel so sad for DC because I know DC is sad. I want to encourage more therapy this summer but don't want to send a negative message ("there's something wrong with you"). Thanks for listening.

The doctor will know what meds to try. It takes a while to get the right fit. I did well on Lexapro and Zoloft. Not on Wellbutrin. It varies. Just get the process started.

[Anonymous]

It's a small thing but my child had anxiety at sleep away camp and wet them a soulstone and it reallly helped. I think it was like a Linus blanket but who cares....it was a ositive little tool that helped.

[Anonymous]

cbt helps many. It is a life long issue.

[Anonymous]

Cbt meds and or DBT group

[Anonymous]

OP - does your child have a social anxiety diagnosis ? From whom? If not, she needs to see a psychoatrist or psychologist and get evaluated.

Sounds like she could be suffering from depression or anxiety. These are serious mental illnesses and left untreated only get worse. It isn't about whether she "thinks something is wrong with her," she is probably ill.

[Anonymous]

Yes on the diagnosis from a psychologist. As I said meds were prescribed (by a psychiatrist) awhile ago but DC didn't like them. How do I convince DC that it doent have to be this way and that regular therapy and/or meds could make life better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a small thing but my child had anxiety at sleep away camp and wet them a soulstone and it reallly helped. I think it was like a Linus blanket but who cares....it was a ositive little tool that helped.

Huh?