Best practices for good 2 year old behavior in Church

[Anonymous]

We are trying to help our daughter understand how to behave while at church. She is two. We go to mass once per week and it lasts for 45 minutes to one hour. I bring two small books, a couple of quiet toys and some cheerios with me each week so she has some distractions. We usually sit through the opening processional song, greeting and readings, then take a walk outside during the homily (15 minute long address from the priest in the middle of the mass) and re-enter mass for the communion, songs and final prayers. Do I keep this up or start scaling back with the diversions to increase her ability to sit through the service? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she's doing fine. At 2, I don't think you can expect much more - you're doing all the right things. I think my kids were 5 or older before they made it through without a hassle. Even now at 10 and 12 it's not always easy - lol!

[Anonymous]

We have kids ages 2, 4, 7 & 8, and I used to do what you are doing, sit near the back, bring plenty of distractions, leave when necessary. But Here is what a friend who is a father of five recommended to us, and it has worked for the last six months or so that we have been doing it: Sit in the front so the kids can see what is going on; don't bring any toys/food. Let them use the mass and church as the source of their entertainment. Then just let your child see you taking mass seriously instead of trying to entertain her. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I take my 18 mo and 3 yo to Catholic mass. I actually sit near the front where they can see what is going on. We only bring water, although I do bring some small toys - like a doll, a book, and a bracelet. I let the 3 yo give the offering, which she is super excited about.

Not sure how long you have been taking your DC, but I found it gets better when I am going regularly as they know what to expect and what is expected of them. It also helps when we go to the family mass because they like seeing other kids. Going to family mass, I also find myself feeling less stressed about the experience when I know other parents are going through the same thing.

My kids do ok until the last 10 min, then it gets hard. At that point, I usually bribe them by promising a treat if they behave until we get home - nothing big, but something they really like, like a granola bar or yogurt squeeze-pack or goldfish. The bribe works for the 3 yo, not so much for the 18 mo.

[Anonymous]

My almost 2 year old generally ends up rolling around the floor, trying to grab the hair of the person in front of us, and talking loudly during all quiet moments. Your daughter sounds awesome!

[Anonymous]

I agree she sounds like she is doing great for a 2 year old! I would scale back the distractions over the next year or so - by 3 or 4, she should be able to sit through the whole mass no problem.

[Anonymous]

I have taken DD to Church since she was an infant, she is now 4. Ive only had to take her out twice during that time.
The key in the toddler years was small books, stickers, cars she could roll on the floor, crayons and paper. and lots of snacks. Kind of like you would on a plane.
Now she is 4 we are down to one snack and one toy or activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree she sounds like she is doing great for a 2 year old! I would scale back the distractions over the next year or so - by 3 or 4, she should be able to sit through the whole mass no problem.

???? That would be unusual, actually, unless you mean sit through the service with the help of some books or stickers or something. That's a long time for a little kid to sit still and be quiet and listen to something that mostly makes no sense to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have taken DD to Church since she was an infant, she is now 4. Ive only had to take her out twice during that time.
The key in the toddler years was small books, stickers, cars she could roll on the floor, crayons and paper. and lots of snacks. Kind of like you would on a plane.
Now she is 4 we are down to one snack and one toy or activity.

I also suggest small quiet toys/stickers/coloring books.
They key for us is to get new ones as much as possible. The newer it is, the more engrossed he will be.

So our bag has a soft quiet book (with like Velcro and button and zipper activities), a coloring book and baggy of crayons, a couple little figurines that are quiet (a jaguar and a super girl ha ha), small bag of Lego duplo (I was nervous the first time, but actually he stacks them very quietly and it keeps him focused). At other times, we have had a mini doodle pad, an etch a sketch, borrowed a B. Toys little lap pad, and paw patrol stickers that he needs help with. Sometimes I just draw with him, and he colors whatever I have drawn.

Just switch up something every few weeks, and you're good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taken DD to Church since she was an infant, she is now 4. Ive only had to take her out twice during that time.
The key in the toddler years was small books, stickers, cars she could roll on the floor, crayons and paper. and lots of snacks. Kind of like you would on a plane.
Now she is 4 we are down to one snack and one toy or activity.

I also suggest small quiet toys/stickers/coloring books.
They key for us is to get new ones as much as possible. The newer it is, the more engrossed he will be.

So our bag has a soft quiet book (with like Velcro and button and zipper activities), a coloring book and baggy of crayons, a couple little figurines that are quiet (a jaguar and a super girl ha ha), small bag of Lego duplo (I was nervous the first time, but actually he stacks them very quietly and it keeps him focused). At other times, we have had a mini doodle pad, an etch a sketch, borrowed a B. Toys little lap pad, and paw patrol stickers that he needs help with. Sometimes I just draw with him, and he colors whatever I have drawn.

Just switch up something every few weeks, and you're good.

Me again. I have a 5yo and 2yo. All we need now for the 5yo is one favorite coloring book. And though we have gotten her color sticks, pencils, and smelly markers, the two year old can't handle it. Sojust crayons still.

I still have no expectation of her paying attention. During a song, I will sometimes tell her to listen to the pretty music, remark on the instrument.

The other key for us is that taking them into the hall is not the 'fun' place. So we don't bring the quiet toys out with us. If we need to go out, we try to make it back in ny the end. More of a thing as they get older for sure.

[j2415]

Hi, it sounds like your daughter is doing great.

In some churches, they offer Sunday school for young kids. The babies will be entertained with toys and the volunteers will read them story. It’s not just babysitting but foundation for kids to learn about God. This ministry provide spiritual nourishment for infants and toddlers.You may want to give it a try. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Our expectation is that the kids and we will stay in for the entire Mass. This works probably 75-80% of the time. My new 5 yo is generally fine with a coloring book and pen/crayon. We also usually send her out for the children's service now, which helps a lot. As a 3 year old, she was pretty challenging - but she was a challenging 3 year old in general. My 2 year old is actually pretty good. He's usually happy on my lap with a couple of books. Sometimes he's not, but we can usually distract and settle him before having to take him out. The biggest problems we have are the two of them squabbling. When separated, they're usually not bad.

We promise them treats specifically for good church behavior. Our church usually has donut holes afterwards but if not, they can pick something at the store along the lines of a cookie or pouch. I've also found that letting them put the money in the communion basket is a good distraction/incentive. I'm interested in the idea of sitting in front, my older has periodically complained that she can't see. But we usually duck out after communion (yes, we're those folks) so not sure how DH would feel about that.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter does sound like she's doing good. I bring a few books, a coloring book and crayons, and Cheerios for my 2 year old. She loves to sing during church and like others she really loves giving the offering.

I also bribe her with letting her light a candle after mass at one of the shrines to a saint. That is a big hit.

[Anonymous]

I found 1.5-2.5 the hardest years for this. We currently have a nearly 2 year old again and he's good for about 20 minutes, then starts to want to be free. I bring books and small quiet toys and can usually get another 10 minutes that way. Then one of us ends up walking around the perimeter with him for the rest of Mass.

By 3.5 my oldest was able to sit through mass without the quiet toys. She learned the Our Father that year and we've helped her learn other parts of the mass as we've gone along, these days at 6 she's mostly got the Nicene Creed down. She still likes to be the one to give the offering, but she'll have to take turns with the little guy soon.