Worried about my DD?
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Anonymous
| My DD is almsot thru her final stretch in highschool and she seems so unhappy. She has worked so hard for four years and got into her top choice college, which made her very happy. But now? Rather than savoring every "final" event in highschool, she appears to be over it all. Grumbles about friends, prefers to not go to school gatherings, and tells us repeatedly she can't wait to get out. It makes me sad as she seems to take no pleasure in traditional highschool activities anymore. Is it normal after being in the grind for four years to be ready to move on? She is at a very competitive highschool and I wonder if it's taken its toll? I also don't want to project on her what I think is the right way to enjoy her final HS days, but I admit that I worry as she doesn't go out much anymore and doesn't seem to care. She talks about how girls who were once friends annoy her now, and she prefers to spend time away from the crowd. Is this normal at the end of a very long road? |
Anonymous
| Same thing happened to my nephews. When to a very prestigious and competitive high school, did very well but hated it. I know many kids get burnt out in the competitive high schools. The kids in your class are competition, not friends. Top colleges only offer a few slots at each high school. |
Anonymous
| I was just like your DD during my last few months of high school. I hated high school from the beginning because I was bullied and taunted frequently, had no friends, and just never felt like I fit in. I was beside myself waiting to get out for all of senior year. I was accepted into my first choice college in December, so I checked out early. I refused to go to any of the senior events except graduation and thankfully my parents were supportive of that. Please don't force your daughter to go to senior events and to socialize. Instead, talk about how awesome college is going to be and go shopping for the dorm room. |
Anonymous
| Don't try to force your daughter to do high school things, if she's burnt out and ready to move on. Lots of kids feel like that. Take the time to do really different new things with her instead. |
Anonymous
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Maybe, op that she wants to spend more time with you and her family members since she is leaving for college soon? I would just enjoy her company and not push her to go out or do anything she doesn't want to do. How would you feel if someone did that to you? By asking her that implies that something is wrong with her and that maybe you don't want to spend time with her?
Just a thought. |
Anonymous
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I think it's very normal. It actually is a really good sign. It means she is geared up and ready to move on to the next level, which is really mature of her.
My DD is currently in high school and she was the exact same way the last few months of 5th grade (about to move on to middle school), and again the last few months of 8th grade. Middle school was also an extremely competitive program. She was just SO done and ready to get on with the next leg of her adventure. Being also with all the same kids all the time for years, honestly, they were all getting on one another's nerves by the end. I am so happy for her that she got in where she wanted to get in to college, and I would just let her focus on that for now and participate as much or as little she wants in HS right now. |
Anonymous
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It's totally normal. Leave her alone about it.
1. She's burnt out, and senioritis has begun. 2. She knows she's leaving, so she's emotionally distancing herself so it won't hurt so much when she's physically distant once she's begun college. 3. The kid needs a vacation. |
Anonymous
+1. My daughter is in 5th grade and is starting to separate from her school (which she's LOVED for 6 years) and her friends.I know this isn't an apples to apples comparison but the behavior you describe sounds like a defense mechanism that allows your daughter to prepare herself for the separation. Kind of like how i constantly fought with my mother (an unusual occurrence) the summer before i left for college. It sometimes makes change easier. I may be ay off but that's my two cents. Hugs, OP. |
Anonymous
| She's good. I'd say adults who couldn't wait to get out of high school seem to be much better off now than those who wished they could stay in high school forever. |
Anonymous
This was me. So "done" with high school, but so afraid of the unknown that lay ahead. Just be a good listener. She'll get through this tough transition. |
Anonymous
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DD is in same boat - but she also hated most of high school while loving her extracurricular. Is postponing college to pursue it for now. Eager to get going. Irritable toward us but just wants to hang around the house and watch Netflix. 3rd quarter grades low for her and she's bitter she still has a quarter left. Told her she needs to bring grades up since she will possibly apply to college again in a few years.
As others have indicated, this is normal for some kids. Ours in an introvert and I think this contributes to it. |