"Eloping" from class

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had success in preventing their child from "eloping" from class or other settings?

A brief tangent....I hear this term, 'eloped', so often from my son's school that I am growing to despise the word.

[Anonymous]

I hear you op. I commiserate. I love our aba therapist but I can't stand it when she talks about "preferred activit"!-'d "maladaptive behviors." Are you in public? I'd request a functional behavioral assessment if so.

[Anonymous]

Also - its important to try to figure out why they elope. My son has ADHD and some anxiety and would elope when overwhelmed or when things were hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you op. I commiserate. I love our aba therapist but I can't stand it when she talks about "preferred activit"!-'d "maladaptive behviors." Are you in public? I'd request a functional behavioral assessment if so.

OP here- I am in public. The school has said that they have had individuals in the "behavioral assessment" field observe him, I am wondering if a FBA ia much different that what has already been done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also - its important to try to figure out why they elope. My son has ADHD and some anxiety and would elope when overwhelmed or when things were hard.

OP here- He says that he elopes because "I get so mad and when I go to the safe space someone (one of the other students) bothers me." I am not there to know what actually happens, but his teacher(s) often go out of their way to say, "nobody was bothering him or near him" when his disruptive behaviors occur.

[Anonymous]

They need a written plan. He is either avoiding something or getting attention from running away. I would heavily reinforce him staying in his assigned location and have an immediate consequence for running away. I would ask for anecdotal notes of each episode including what happened just before and what happened after, and analyze that info. I would make him spend some of his free time discussing each incident that same evening so he pays a price and can't tell you someone did him wrong if the teacher gave you notes.

[Anonymous]

There is a problem if a school cannot manage this. You need to document every time this happens. This information could be used to demand a different placement or even a publicly funded private one.

[Anonymous]

If anything, you'd need to try Bridge before even thinking about private placement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need a written plan. He is either avoiding something or getting attention from running away. I would heavily reinforce him staying in his assigned location and have an immediate consequence for running away. I would ask for anecdotal notes of each episode including what happened just before and what happened after, and analyze that info. I would make him spend some of his free time discussing each incident that same evening so he pays a price and can't tell you someone did him wrong if the teacher gave you notes.

OP here - We have tried every consequence under the sun. nothing works. He literally has no toys in his room, no more use of the ipad, he doesn't watch tv, he doesn't play with friends (even though he really needs to socialize). The only thing he has are his books (which I won't take away) so I don't know what other consequence to try. By the time we talk with him at home, he is over it so we don't get the full understanding (in his point of view) of what happened. Last Thursday, we met with the principal and mentioned to her that we want to get the details of what occurred prior to certain behaviors, so that we can understand potential triggers, but that has not happened yet. Not sure if that is something that we can "require".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anything, you'd need to try Bridge before even thinking about private placement.

OP here - what is Bridge? Is this available in DCPS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also - its important to try to figure out why they elope. My son has ADHD and some anxiety and would elope when overwhelmed or when things were hard.

OP here- He says that he elopes because "I get so mad and when I go to the safe space someone (one of the other students) bothers me." I am not there to know what actually happens, but his teacher(s) often go out of their way to say, "nobody was bothering him or near him" when his disruptive behaviors occur.

I think he is telling you right here what he needs. The safe space isn't functioning for him because of the other student. See if he can get a different place to go.

The teachers saying nothing was going on is irrelevant -- it just means they can't tell what was bothering him, which is going to be the case a lot of the time. Something was bothering him or he wouldn't have left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They need a written plan. He is either avoiding something or getting attention from running away. I would heavily reinforce him staying in his assigned location and have an immediate consequence for running away. I would ask for anecdotal notes of each episode including what happened just before and what happened after, and analyze that info. I would make him spend some of his free time discussing each incident that same evening so he pays a price and can't tell you someone did him wrong if the teacher gave you notes.

OP here - We have tried every consequence under the sun. nothing works. He literally has no toys in his room, no more use of the ipad, he doesn't watch tv, he doesn't play with friends (even though he really needs to socialize). The only thing he has are his books (which I won't take away) so I don't know what other consequence to try. By the time we talk with him at home, he is over it so we don't get the full understanding (in his point of view) of what happened. Last Thursday, we met with the principal and mentioned to her that we want to get the details of what occurred prior to certain behaviors, so that we can understand potential triggers, but that has not happened yet. Not sure if that is something that we can "require".

Consequences after the fact are probably not going to influence him in a moment of intense frustration or anxiety at school. If it's not effective, I think it just ends up harming your connection to him and would be inclined to back off on the consequences a bit. He feels like he is in an intolerable situation and has to literally escape, right then, which is an extremely difficult thing to address by consequences.

[Anonymous]

I think the consequences would ideally be at school, and home would be where to decompress. Could you consider a completely solitary cool-down spot? then a one-to-one aide with permission to take him for a lap around the school or something? Then a behavioral support classroom? and then private placement?

[Anonymous]

One other thought on the school/home connection. It can be very effective, but i think it works better as positive reinforcement -- he is rewarded because he "earned" something at school. At first it should only be easily achievable goals and small rewards -- if it is too difficult then kids will give up. Then you can gradually work up to larger things (ideally rewards like extra iPad time, as opposed to "no iPad time at all if you don't earn this".). Another thing to watch out for is all-or-nothing rewards like "get x if you earn y every day this week, otherwise nothing." It's better if kids can't self-sabotage, like "get x if you earn y on five days" so the progress isn't wiped out if he loses it.

[Anonymous]

Does you child have an IEP? What grade?


Our school has a room for kids to go to when they are feeling overwhelmed/anxious. Or the Sp Ed teacher will take DS for a walk around the school grounds to decompress and/or talk.

There is no point in punishing kids for eloping bc they are doing it for a reason. The FBA will find what triggers the behavior and put in supports so the kid no longer feels like they have to escape the situation.