I want a dog so badly
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Anonymous
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Sigh. Just a vent, really. I grew up with dogs (Labs, mostly, but also a wonderful English pointer and a crazy but sweet Irish setter). Our last dog, a once-in-a-lifetime amazing dog, died when I was pregnant with my first kid, nearly 15 years ago. We have three kids now ranging from 14 to 9, and we have two cats (my husband is more of a cat person than I am). I like the cats (well, I like one more than the other), but it's just not the same as having a dog for me. Our family dogs were such a huge part of my life growing up, and I really miss that bond, plus my kids haven't had that experience at all.
My husband and I both work full time, he travels a lot and I travel some, and we have the normal level of insanity that comes with three kids in three schools. My husband really doesn't want to get a dog for logistical reasons (plus with two cats, there's that challenge), and I understand that logically. I know the financial and time investment it takes -- I have no illusions that my kids would do the work and I know it would mostly be on me, and I'm stressed out and overstretched as it is. But emotionally, irrationally, I want a dog so much that it's like wanting to have another baby. I stalk dog rescue/adoption sites recreationally. We live close to Rock Creek, and I am jealous every time I'm out for a walk of people with their dogs. There are a lot of dogs in my neighborhood, and an informal dog park, and I want to be part of that club. I'm working at home right now and would be so happy if I had a dog snoozing at my feet and later we could take a break by going for a walk and enjoying the decent weather. Just looking for sympathy, I guess! |
Anonymous
| You should foster. Have a dog for 2-3 weeks without the long commitment. |
Anonymous
+1 Great solution! |
Anonymous
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Do you have a friend with a dog? Can you dog sit?
Then, see about having a dog once your older two are out of the house. So discuss in 5 years basically. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Fostering is absolutely not going to work -- I can't stress my cats out with a random dog. If we do get a dog, we'd have to take our time and find the right dog to live with our cats and vice-versa. Also -- I'm not doing that to my kids, letting them get attached to a dog and then it leaves. I think fostering is fabulous when people have the right environment, but our house is not it.
I want the long-term commitment. I get what that means, because I've had it and I want it again. And I want it for my kids while they're still young and at home. I'm sad for them that they're not experiencing that bond. It's like having a disagreement with your spouse about how many kids are the right number for your family. My husband has veto here (and I understand and respect his reasons), but I am still really sad. |
Anonymous
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I've been surprised at how involved my 7 yo and 11 yo have been in caring for our dog. The 11 yo in particular- he walks her every day, makes a point of playing with her every day. He also enjoys giving her baths. Don't assume that your kids wouldn't step up to the plate! Your kids seem an ideal age to have a dog.
Also, the landscape of pet services is very different now from what it was 20 years ago. It's really easy to find caregivers, along with client ratings and feedback, online. There's doggy daycare that picks the dog up, overnight boarding in people's houses, dog walking, etc, that is easy to arrange (if not pay for). If you can afford it you can build a relationship with caregivers that can fill those gaps for you. |
Anonymous
| What a great opportunity to show your kids that one can be sad about something they want, but can't have, without losing your mind or the world coming to an end! |
Anonymous
NP here. Do you actually have kids yourself? In our family at least, our kids get these opportunities all the time. It's called life, and we already help them with these types of challenges. My kids adore animals and attach to them very easily. My youngest gets incredibly upset when we see lost pet signs posted around the neighborhood and talks about it for days. Losing one of our pets a couple of years ago was devastating to my kids. I would never set them up deliberately for attachment followed by loss. And I would never suggest a family foster a pet as some sort of mental toughness challenge for the kids. There are many great reasons for fostering, but this is not one of them. |
Anonymous
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A foster would be much harder than a permanent dog who learns the rules and schedules. You cant take on fostering with two full time working, traveling parents, anyway. No one would approve you for a foster role.
I think that your kids are old enough that I would get a dog really soon or else give up the dream now. I will say that there are a ton of dog sitters, dog daycares etc that make owning a pet easy when you have financial means. We got a dog when our kids were 6-10 and they are huge helps. I don't want to be tied to a dog long after the kids are gone from the home. |
Anonymous
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Haven't read the replies, but get a great dog sitter (Care.com or National Capital Area Pet Sitters website) for when you aren't home.
Shelters look for volunteer dog walkers, play partners, exercisers. |
Anonymous
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Me too. I can't move out of my rent-controlled apartment without leaving the area I'm in entirely, and my apartment building doesn't allow dogs.
The only solution would be for me to claim it's a support animal but I wouldn't feel good about that. |
Anonymous
| Aren't there breeds that are more laid back, with less need for exercise, and that are "OK" with being alone in the house all day? |
Anonymous
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Sounds like you're realistic about the work needed to take care of a dog so I would suggest going for it - as long as you're willing to take responsibility for it. I always tell my friends who want to get dogs for their kids - no, only get a dog if you're willing to do the work because you can't trust your other family members to step up. Get a dog if you can see yourself walking that dog every morning for the rest of its life. You sound like a person who knows that, OP.
What will help is if you get a regular, reliable dogwalker who you can call on when you're both out of the house all day. And who can housesit or come by and check on the dogs while you're out of the house overnight. Another factor for us - in addition to our dogs being family members - is that having dogs keeps the house and family safer in our neighborhood. I worry a lot less about burglars and being harassed when I'm out in the neighborhood with the dogs. Sounds like that might be less of a concern for you but it is a good reason for having a dog and it's what I remind myself when I'm tired of dealing with them. Not only do I love them but I rarely worry about break-ins. Good luck to you, OP. I totally understand your desire for a dog. Hope you can work it out somehow. |
Anonymous
I foster and we have 3 cats (mom and some kittens) Fostering is a great way to figure out if the dog can along with your cats actually. You should always have the foster doggie in control so it has worked out for us. I am picky about the dogs we foster. Also I've returned some that don't get along with cats and/or kids and that I can't control or trust (which the rescue does not like but oh well there's only so much I can handle). We had the same thing - old dog died now only cats remain. Our kitties loved our dog so that makes it easier. I also pet sit for former fosters and that's nice too. I still haven't picked out a new family dog but I get my dog fix |
Anonymous
| Sign up to be a dog-sitter at rover.com and/or dogvacay.com, on weekends. |