I'm wondering what prayer does

[Anonymous]

I'm trying not to be rude or insensitive about this. Please bear with me a little.

Here's the situation. Not quite 11 year old boy. Born with Down Syndrome. Had the open heart surgery and all forms of early intervention that were necessary, and doing ok in that regard.

At age 7, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Lots of prayers, 2 years of treatments. An extra year after he was in remission, to be sure it was gone.

At a regular check up something concerning showed up. The worst case scenario has been confirmed.. the leukemia has returned 2 years after his last treatment. (Roughly)

His parents are very strong in their faith and are asking for prayers. Which is what they do, where they find comfort. I understand that.

But what in the world do you pray for in this instance? IMO, the boy and his family have dealt with enough. His mom quotes things like "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." "God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

I'm not a praying person, obviously. I don't understand what people would be praying for. Comfort for the family? Knowledge for the doctors? I don't think praying for a good outcome is going to do much good. Why do they "need" to go through this again in the first place?

[Anonymous]

I am with you. Does it mean that someone who prayed for a healthy outcome and the subject of their prayer died it means that God didn't hear or want to answer their prayers? If so, what's the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am with you. Does it mean that someone who prayed for a healthy outcome and the subject of their prayer died it means that God didn't hear or want to answer their prayers? If so, what's the point?

OP here. My understanding is that you don't necessarily pray for a healthy outcome. A friend of mine recently explained it as praying for the pain to ease, for example. Well, if the person dies they aren't in pain anymore. Or that they be "free of cancer." Dying takes care of that, too.

In this case I just don't know. Pray that the treatments are successful again? For how long? Someone commented that they would pray for God to be with the family through this latest trial. Umm.. if the child wasn't sick again.. it wouldn't be necessary to pray for God to be with them through the "latest" trial.

I really hope someone can explain the purpose of prayer in a situation like this.

[Anonymous]

I'm a Christian and the Lord's prayer sums up prayer best for me

This link does a pretty good job of explaining

https://prayers4reparation.wordpress.com/2012/12/21/the-meaning-of-the-our-father-line-by-line/

I think like with many things some churches have twisted prayer into something it was never intended to be

[Anonymous]

I'm not religious, but always liked the serenity prayer. I've been known to say it to myself, not as a way of asking God or any higher power for anything, but as a way of focusing my own thoughts and making a conscious decision whether the situation calls for acceptance or action.

For, praying (and again, take this with a grain of salt because I am not religious) is about focusing one's mind. Group prayer, like this "keep xxx in your prayers" type of thing, it's about strengthening a sense of community and surrounding the subject with love and emotional support. If you keep them in your prayers, you'll be more likely to think about them consistently, which means you'll be more likely to check in with them, visit with them, etc. You are showing them that you care (which of course can be done in many ways, prayer is just one of them). So it's not that the prayer itself really does anything, it's the effect that the act of praying has on the person doing the praying and what it means to the person being prayed about.

I'm sure it's different if you believe there is really someone or something out there listening to the prayer.

[Anonymous]

Prayer is a way to recognize and appreciate everything you have and to remind yourself of what wonderful things you're blessed with.

There are 4 types of prayer - contrition, thanksgiving, petition, and praise.

In this instance, you're talking about petition - asking the Lord to answer your prayer. The tough thing is that the Lord doesn't always answer your prayer the way YOU want Him too. He answers and listens - yes, but sometimes the outcome isn't what you were praying for. It's tough, I know.

[Anonymous]

I can give you my opinion as a minister, but prayer is so personal. Everyone has their own stories of how prayer has affected them. Prayer and meditation are about connecting with our source. I don't pray to convince God of something. I don't pray to beg or plead my case. Bad things sometimes happen regardless of how faithful or prayerful we are. And they are necessary. We cannot learn to show compassion unless we have experienced hurt. We cannot be loving unless we know what it feels like to be rejected. When we walk through pain and suffering, we learn powerful lessons. And that's why we are here - to grow as compassionate, loving spiritual beings.

Prayer and meditation ground us. They connect us to each other and to the Divine. They help us see the big picture. They provide peace and comfort even in really, really dark times. We know that our thoughts truly create our reality. Affirmative prayer allows us to set into motion actions that lead us towards the things we seek to manifest. It doesn't mean we always get what we want. It does mean that when we align our desires with God's plan, we are better able to obtain our highest and best.

As a Hospice minister I see the power of prayer every day. When I pray with a dying patient, I can see them relax. Their pain level improves. They are less restless and more at peace. Prayer makes the dying process easier even for people who don't consider themselves as religious or spiritual. I can see the effect of prayer on family members. Their frantic breathing slows. They feel less stress. Less overwhelmed. And better able to support their dying loved one. After death, I see the power of prayer in grieving families. Prayer provides a peace that goes well beyond my understanding. It pulls families and friends together after tragedy. It feels really, really good to know that despite the uncontrollable nature of grief, you are being held in prayer.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the above response.

I still thinks Down Syndrome and Leukemia x2 is a little much Cruel, actually.. But I see what you are saying as far as stress levels, peacefulness and those kinda of things.

[Anonymous]

Prayer does nothing to stop people from getting hurt, raped, killed. Bad things happen to believers and non-believers alike. Prayers are just coping mechanism. Nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying not to be rude or insensitive about this. Please bear with me a little.

Here's the situation. Not quite 11 year old boy. Born with Down Syndrome. Had the open heart surgery and all forms of early intervention that were necessary, and doing ok in that regard.

At age 7, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Lots of prayers, 2 years of treatments. An extra year after he was in remission, to be sure it was gone.

At a regular check up something concerning showed up. The worst case scenario has been confirmed.. the leukemia has returned 2 years after his last treatment. (Roughly)

His parents are very strong in their faith and are asking for prayers. Which is what they do, where they find comfort. I understand that.

But what in the world do you pray for in this instance? IMO, the boy and his family have dealt with enough. His mom quotes things like "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." "God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

I'm not a praying person, obviously. I don't understand what people would be praying for. Comfort for the family? Knowledge for the doctors? I don't think praying for a good outcome is going to do much good. Why do they "need" to go through this again in the first place?

Taking the entirety of spirituality out of this: Prayer is a form of meditation and self-talk that helps calms your nerves. It's good for stress relief. It can reduce levels of cortisol in the blood.

At a social level, it is a practice that binds people, offering comfort among family and peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying not to be rude or insensitive about this. Please bear with me a little.

Here's the situation. Not quite 11 year old boy. Born with Down Syndrome. Had the open heart surgery and all forms of early intervention that were necessary, and doing ok in that regard.

At age 7, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Lots of prayers, 2 years of treatments. An extra year after he was in remission, to be sure it was gone.

At a regular check up something concerning showed up. The worst case scenario has been confirmed.. the leukemia has returned 2 years after his last treatment. (Roughly)

His parents are very strong in their faith and are asking for prayers. Which is what they do, where they find comfort. I understand that.

But what in the world do you pray for in this instance? IMO, the boy and his family have dealt with enough. His mom quotes things like "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." "God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

I'm not a praying person, obviously. I don't understand what people would be praying for. Comfort for the family? Knowledge for the doctors? I don't think praying for a good outcome is going to do much good. Why do they "need" to go through this again in the first place?

Taking the entirety of spirituality out of this: Prayer is a form of meditation and self-talk that helps calms your nerves. It's good for stress relief. It can reduce levels of cortisol in the blood.

At a social level, it is a practice that binds people, offering comfort among family and peers.

This definition sounds most accurate and encompassing to me. The minister's explanation, as kind as it was, presumed spirituality and a belief in god. Non-believers may relax a little, but the greater benefits go to those who believe. That may be the reality. Then again, if prayer can be defined as a form of self-talk that calms your nerves, then it's available to all.

Even as a believer, I didn't pray. It didn't make sense to me and I derived no comfort from it. Emptying my mind works best and the best way to do that was to swim. After about 10 lengths my mind is free and my breathing is rhythmic and easy.

I've read (don't have the source) that a study of buddhist and christian monks found that the same area of the brain lit up when they prayed to their different gods. I wouldn't be surprised if that part of my brain lights up when swimming or taking long walks.

[Anonymous]

Prayer gives hope where there may not be any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying not to be rude or insensitive about this. Please bear with me a little.

Here's the situation. Not quite 11 year old boy. Born with Down Syndrome. Had the open heart surgery and all forms of early intervention that were necessary, and doing ok in that regard.

At age 7, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Lots of prayers, 2 years of treatments. An extra year after he was in remission, to be sure it was gone.

At a regular check up something concerning showed up. The worst case scenario has been confirmed.. the leukemia has returned 2 years after his last treatment. (Roughly)

His parents are very strong in their faith and are asking for prayers. Which is what they do, where they find comfort. I understand that.

But what in the world do you pray for in this instance? IMO, the boy and his family have dealt with enough. His mom quotes things like "If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." "God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

I'm not a praying person, obviously. I don't understand what people would be praying for. Comfort for the family? Knowledge for the doctors? I don't think praying for a good outcome is going to do much good. Why do they "need" to go through this again in the first place?

Taking the entirety of spirituality out of this: Prayer is a form of meditation and self-talk that helps calms your nerves. It's good for stress relief. It can reduce levels of cortisol in the blood.

At a social level, it is a practice that binds people, offering comfort among family and peers.

That makes more sense to me. Thank you. (OP here).

Even when I did attend church I was like another PP. Prayer never had any effect on me when it was in the sense of "pray for... (insert reason for prayer)". I do however practice mediation from time to time and a lot of self talk. So that makes more sense to me.

Here's hoping that whatever it takes, this little guy will get through this too.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
As I understand it, you have two issues here - the down syndrome, and the Leukemia.
I think that you have not come to terms with the fact that the child has down syndrome, but I am assuming that the parents have. Down syndrome children are very loving and loveable. Your friends love their child and are very interested in the child's well being.
I would think the thing to pray for in this case would be a quick and complete recovery of the child from Leukemia.
You may want to visit the special needs forum to try and get a better understanding of families and children with down syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,
As I understand it, you have two issues here - the down syndrome, and the Leukemia.
I think that you have not come to terms with the fact that the child has down syndrome, but I am assuming that the parents have. Down syndrome children are very loving and loveable. Your friends love their child and are very interested in the child's well being.
I would think the thing to pray for in this case would be a quick and complete recovery of the child from Leukemia.
You may want to visit the special needs forum to try and get a better understanding of families and children with down syndrome.

OP is not trying to figure out which malady to pray about, but rather if prayer is of any value to the boy at all. Sounds like there is some sense that prayer can have a calming effect on the person who is praying, but no sense that it helps the person being prayed for.