Daycare Nap Fail - So Frustrated with Daycare Provider
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Anonymous
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My DS is 12mos and has been waking up at 5am for months now. We finally took him to a sleep clinic (the one founded by Dr. Ferber himself!) just to get some advice about schedule, and they put us on the following sched.
6am - wake up 9am - first nap, no more than 90 mins 2pm - second nap, no more than 90 mins 8pm - bedtime The problem is that our daycare provider either can't or won't get on board with this (he's at a in-home family daycare with mixed aged kids). They put him down around 8:30am, he sleeps for 45 mins, then they put him down for his afternoon nap at 12:30pm. So he's up by 2pm (when he's supposed to be just starting his second nap) and can't possibly make it to 8pm bedtime. He's majorly cranky in the evenings, and we end up putting him down by 7pm -- which means he wakes up at 5am, exactly the problem we were trying to avoid! I'm just so annoyed with our daycare provider that she won't work with us on this. I get that she has other kids and their nap schedules to deal with (bigger kids take one nap from 12:30-2:30ish), but my baby still needs his two naps, and I think that should trump her convenience. Any tips from folks who've experienced something similar? Please don't tell me I should quit my job to stay home with my baby if I want him on a perfect nap schedule. That is not an option. |
Anonymous
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I think most kids in daycare just have to get used to not having the most optimal nap schedule. In a few months he will be on one nap and this won't be an issue anymore.
It's expecting too much for the day care provider to follow your instructions to the tee. |
Anonymous
| If you need special care get a nanny. |
Anonymous
| Ours wasn't the best napped at first and was an early riser for a long time, so I feel that pain. Honestly, we just had to go with it until he outgrew it. I think it's a lot to ask a provider to work solely around your schedule, when they have multiple kids. Ours is in home, too, and they all take that 12:30 nap. Babies needing more than one take them morning/afternoon. If you need it super personalized, you may need a different set up like a nanny. |
Anonymous
| I don't see how those nap times are messing up his night sleep? I have a 7 month old and she does a 10 am and a 2 pm nap, but sleeps all night. |
Anonymous
For the first nap, they can't help how long he sleeps for. Maybe 45 is all they can get him to sleep. Now, for the 12:30 nap perhaps he does not make it until 2 pm? If they put him to nap at 2 and that is when everyone else is waking up, will that keep him up? His nap schedule does not trump everyone else's day- they might be heading out to a playground (for example) and can't leave him sleeping alone inside. (Just a thought) Lastly, you didn't mention another issue other than waking up at 5, so maybe he's just an early riser. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like s/he sleeps all night? Some babies are just early wakers. Parenting isn't always convenient. |
Anonymous
| I can't get my baby to sleep at daycare AT ALL. Yesterday was a 5 minute nap and a 20 minute nap. For a 7 month old!!! She's a hot mess when she comes home because of how tired she is. It's tiring. |
Anonymous
| I think day care needs to plan all the kids napping at roughly the same time. The providers need a break to eat and use the restroom, and need to operate on a general schedule. I don't understand why you are striving for your HOME to be on such a militant schedule. |
Anonymous
| Or, you could just start your day at 5am. It's just an hour away from 6am. |
Anonymous
Yup, this. If you want a nap schedule designed perfectly for your child, you need a nanny. If you can't get a nanny, you suck it up and deal with 7pm bedtime and 5am wakeups. That's what we did. |
Anonymous
Or, you know, stay home and care for your child yourself. |
Anonymous
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I understand you are annoyed but having done daycare before, it's not going to be possible for daycare providers with multiple kids to customize a nap schedule for toddlers.
If this is really important to you, get a nanny or nanny share. But then again, don't put too much stock into the schedule. It's worth trying for a while but some kids are simply early risers and will be for years and for some it will be a phase. I remember believing that if my then toddler went to sleep late she would sleep later in the morning. Nope never happened. OTOH going to bed early didn't guarantee that she wouldn't wake up super early and then not fall back to sleep. |
Anonymous
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If you're going to micromanage your kid's sleep to this extent, then you need to get a nanny. It's just not possible in a group care setting. It's not the provider's "convenience" but rather the needs of the entire group that trump your child's needs.
Naps at 8:30 and 12:30 are really pretty normal for a 1 year old baby. And if he's taking a short AM nap, that's a very long time to expect him to stay awake, almost 5 hrs! (9:15- 2pm). Also sad to say it, but waking up at 5am is actually within the realm of normal. It might be easier just to adjust the whole family's schedule to this, if you can't switch to a nanny or nanny share. Finally, he'll be switching to 1 nap in just a few months (and you can even speed this up if you want). So this is temporary anyway, and I wouldn't tank a care situation over it if it otherwise works for you. |
Anonymous
| Holy shit. You took your 12 month old to a sleep study because he wakes up at 5am?!? He is an early riser, live with it. It will change, often. Fuck the sleep study and when they say he should nap. If he is tired, he will sleep. Obviously he is tired if he is sleeping at 12:30 there. She also can not force him to sleep longer than 45 mins for the first nap. You have high, unrealistic expectations for your baby. 8pm for a bedtime is late for a one year old. Her schedule sounds better than yours. |