Slam dunk divorce case?

[Anonymous]

I would think this would be an easy judgment based on facts but I know husband will torture me throughout the process and I can't stand to think I would owe him money in a divorce or not see my kids every day.

1) we have a prenup. He declined legal counsel at the time bc he didn't want to pay for a lawyer and signed it. I read somewhere that this would invalidate the prenup, screwing me (not to mention thousands I spent in legal fees to prepare it)

2) I worked part time after having both children, now 5 and 2. He could rarely keep a job and I ended up thousands in debt and eating through any savings I had. I pay for EVERYTHING... house, car, all insurance, tuitions, utilities, food, clothes you name it. No real record of all the thousands in cash I've given him throughout 7 years, but all other paper statements in my name.

3) husband arrested once on domestic violence, completed probation now up for expungement. I know- should've divorced then but didn't "because of the kids". State picked up the charge against him bc he wouldn't give me the kids when I tried to leave. Failed drug test when arrested.

4) addict. i kick him out every time he drinks... doesn't stop him. Now gambles. Bc he doesn't even have a credit card or checking account I don't have receipts. I literally have stopped going to any social engagements in the evening bc I know he will binge anytime I'm out. It's like living with a bad teen.

I'm trying to return to full time work bc cannot afford $2000/mo childcare. We work somewhat well on scheduling so kids are covered though this will change in divorce.

would this be enough for full custody or more than 50??? If not I just have to continue living this miserable life I've created for myself.

He's also a total con artist and I feel can smooth talk a judge in his favor. Yes I've lost my shit and threw a phone at him, locked him out of house, and yelled while my kids were present. Not happy about it but by no stretch an unfit mom/incapable of full custody.

Lawyers--- what do you think?

[Anonymous]

How are you two living? Seems no one has a real job

[Anonymous]

She has been working part time while raising her kids and living off the money she's saved presumably from working full time before having children and going into debt! Read the post before trolling boards with no helpful response.

Your safety is most important. Have a safe exit plan should you file. Assuming you live together.

[Anonymous]

I was told by a lawyer in a similar situation (minus the actual arrest) that judges still go 50-50 at least in moco. They don't care about drugs, addictions, jobs, pretty much anything. Very depressing.

[Anonymous]

For your safety and your financial future, you absolutely have to work full time and divorce. Please invest $500 in a lawyer who can advise you what documents you need to collect, likely pre-nup outcome, etc. Get out ASAP, but take enough time to get your ducks in a row.

Live in a 1 Br if you have to while kids are small. Costs are easier once they are in school. If you live in DC, look into preK3 programs, which are free, but enter via lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you two living? Seems no one has a real job

Actually this. What is your field that you can work PT and pay for everything? And yes, I realize you are in debt, but sooner or later you run into your credit limit.

[Anonymous]

Even if you can't get full custody, you could get supervised visitations. Although I bet you could get full custody.

I have a hard time believing that the prenup would be invalidated by his not seeking legal counsel before he signed.

I agree with the PP that suggested the smallest least expensive place for now. Such a shame, truly, that child care is so expensive.

Please do not be above an assistance program out there that could help you.

For now, you should consult with a divorce attorney. There are a lot of ins and outs of this process and they seem to change a lot.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

You need to hire a PI, drinking and gambling are almost certainly the tip of the iceberg.

[Anonymous]

You will not owe him money in a divorce and you might be able to get full custody if you document. Take drunken videos if need be.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I've been advised to keep notes about all issues. I keep them on my phone and upload them to the cloud. I also write my detailed concerns to him in emails and blind copy myself. There is no way I would be able to follow what transpired a year prior otherwise. And yes. Get out asap.