Homework management for MS students in private/ind

[Anonymous]

My son is in 7th grade and is pretty independant with his work.
I ask when he has a test, he tells me.

I know he forgets things so we ordered a 2nd set of old books for him on days he forgets stuff.
He uses his computer a lot to type and keep track of assignments.


Recently, I have been getting a lot of text messages and hearing snarky remarks about the workload being too intense and the messages are often about how the parents didn't know a test was moved, or that a deadline was changed and they don't trust their kids.
My mom never once called another mom to ask what day a project was due or what the vocab test would entail. She'd have been mortified. "Bring in cupcakes for snack" sure. "How is Larla's Japan project coming along?". NO.

I ask my kid, and it isn't always that he has it done, but he's on the ball and will stay up late or wake up early to finish stuff on time.

He's not a genius, and he's not super organized, but if he doesn't have a clue when an exam is, I don't feel like he should be at a school with high academic standards.

How much support to do most parents offer to structure the workload of MS students?

He has a younger sibling who needs a "homework done" or a "need us to quiz you" but part of why we got on this wagon was so they'd be self-sufficient in the future.

Sorry, this is a bit of a rant, but it bugs me to see teachers thrown under the bus (or people talking crap about a school I have to scrimp to pay for) for not hand holding enough when they are expecting the kids who will be driving a car in 3 years to, um, turn in an essay on time, without a parent in the middle.

[Anonymous]

OP, every kid is different. It sounds like your kids don't have a lot of downside if you let things play out. For other parents, they worry about their kids' short term issues having log term impacts. Sometimes that comes with involved behavior. Especially if they are tussling with whether there's a fit issue or if it's just developmental. Kids are invited to leave sometimes or may be they want a certain track...

[Anonymous]

Well, all kids are different. My 6th grader is pretty independent but not always and I have had to step in with him to remind him to turn in homework. His older brother is extremely independent and never ever needs me to step in. It's a harder balance if your kid isn't doing as well and many people struggle - should I step in if he is getting Bs and I think he should get As? What if I think he should be in the higher math class? I'm not sure the answer - never had to answer it with my older one but this younger one is testing my parenting philosophy.

In general, I prefer independence over grades/rigor, but for my 6th grader, it's a choice I do have to male.

[Anonymous]

We have stayed very hands off for our kids. The teachers need an honest opportunity to evaluate their work and if we are involved at any level, then they can't do that.

[j2415]

Every kid is different. Other kids, they can work independently without their parent’s supervision, but my son who is in 10th grade is still asking for my help, though not most of the time. I helped him in some of his projects and reminds him about the deadlines. Sometimes I checked his school journal to make sure that he is meeting all his deadlines.

Parent’s support is important in helping our kids succeed in middle school, but as they grow more independent, it can be hard for us parents to know which situation needs involvement. You may try to sit down with your son to talk about his subjects , or help him establish homework schedules, encourage him to ask you if he needs help when it’s needed. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Middle school is the time for kids to fail and learn from their failures. If you enable them too much in middle school, they won't be prepared for the harsh realities of high school expectations. As a mom to a 10th grader, trust me. We learned the hard way.

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader asks for help
When he needs it. When he gets into the car we talk about our days and what homework he has for the night/week/test dates etc. if he has an activity after school, I help him with time management issues. Like finish English before tennis practice and then after dinner u can work on social studies etc. if there is an upcoming test he will study and we will go over flashcrads etc which he made himself. I think at this age learning good time management stills are key.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your kid had the opportunity to develop time and work management skills because you give him the space to do so.