Feeling guilty about treatment towards ex SIL

[Anonymous]

My brother and his now ex wife just recently got divorced. My brother cheated on her so his wife left him and rightfully so. Ever since they separated, I've been giving her the cold shoulder. On one hand, I understand why she left him, but on the other hand, I resent the fact that my young niece now has a broken home. I feel like the ex didn't try to make things work (refused counseling) and gave up. I'm feeling guilty for treating her the way I have been and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. Even if it's to let her know there's no hard feelings.

[Anonymous]

You should angry at him and supportive of her. He cheated and left the marriage. She was right in leaving him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should angry at him and supportive of her. He cheated and left the marriage. She was right in leaving him.

This. Be mad at him. He broke up the marriage, not her.

[Anonymous]

Even though I'm in the staying camp and think all these divorcees should have tried harder to work on their marriage, I still can't relate to your treatment of this woman. Seems pretty heartless of you. Please reach out and say you were processing what happened and are concerned about how she's doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should angry at him and supportive of her. He cheated and left the marriage. She was right in leaving him.

This. Be mad at him. He broke up the marriage, not her.

I'm mad at him too. He messed up a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Your niece has a broken home because YOUR BROTHER BROKE HER HOME. He's the one you should be angry at. You owe your SIL an apology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should angry at him and supportive of her. He cheated and left the marriage. She was right in leaving him.

This. Be mad at him. He broke up the marriage, not her.

Plus, you don't know if maybe he cheated before. Maybe she refused counseling because this wasn't the first time and this was the straw that broke the camels back. You just never know what else might have been going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his now ex wife just recently got divorced. My brother cheated on her so his wife left him and rightfully so. Ever since they separated, I've been giving her the cold shoulder. On one hand, I understand why she left him, but on the other hand, I resent the fact that my young niece now has a broken home. I feel like the ex didn't try to make things work (refused counseling) and gave up. I'm feeling guilty for treating her the way I have been and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. Even if it's to let her know there's no hard feelings.

Would you stay in a marriage where the man cheated? Would you want to set that example for your daughter?

Call her up, tell her you are sorry and offer to help out with your niece when she needs it.

[Anonymous]

If your the kind of person who gives cold shoulders to people you love, and if your the kind of person who chooses sides in family arguments without the facts... then

A) you should think about changing these things about yourself, and
B) maybe SIL is better off without you.

You owe her a big apology. She may not accept it. She most certainly won't go along and pretend it never happened.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about the your/you're. Typing without my glasses and I hate autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your the kind of person who gives cold shoulders to people you love, and if your the kind of person who chooses sides in family arguments without the facts... then

A) you should think about changing these things about yourself, and
B) maybe SIL is better off without you.

You owe her a big apology. She may not accept it. She most certainly won't go along and pretend it never happened.

I wouldn't blame her if she didn't accept it.

[Anonymous]

So it's definitely in your niece's best interest for you to be a total b*tch to her mother, right?

No. You suck. If I were your ex-SIL I'd make it hard for you to see my child because you are so terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his now ex wife just recently got divorced. My brother cheated on her so his wife left him and rightfully so. Ever since they separated, I've been giving her the cold shoulder. On one hand, I understand why she left him, but on the other hand, I resent the fact that my young niece now has a broken home. I feel like the ex didn't try to make things work (refused counseling) and gave up. I'm feeling guilty for treating her the way I have been and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. Even if it's to let her know there's no hard feelings.

None of this is your business! It's not your place to judge who was right or wrong. Keep your nose out of other people's marriages, and focus on being a loving, stable source of support during a difficult time in your niece's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and his now ex wife just recently got divorced. My brother cheated on her so his wife left him and rightfully so. Ever since they separated, I've been giving her the cold shoulder. On one hand, I understand why she left him, but on the other hand, I resent the fact that my young niece now has a broken home. I feel like the ex didn't try to make things work (refused counseling) and gave up. I'm feeling guilty for treating her the way I have been and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. Even if it's to let her know there's no hard feelings.

Actually, you owe her an apology. If you're lucky, she'll tell YOU there are no hard feelings.

[Anonymous]

As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water...op your brother is the asshole here and apparently you are too. I bet your ex SIL can't wait to wash her hands of your f*cked up family.