After Hours Availability - Working Parents

[Anonymous]

How available are you for work after hours?
Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent?

I am a working mom and struggling with this.
I am generally never available outside of working hours as I have a toddler who needs my full attention. I work for a global organization with people in different time zones and my unavailabity has been raised as an issue. I love my job but I'm not sure how I feel about this - I see it as an intrusion into my personal family time.

[Anonymous]

I work for myself and set the schedule. I used to respond at all hours because it was efficient and easy for me. As my kid got older and weekends got busier, I don't. If someone sends me an email at 7:15pm on a Friday I don't respond until Monday morning (I usually look at it to see if it's an emergency, but it never is in my line of work).

I'd advise you to set the boundaries here, but it sounds like your organization and line of work expects accessibility after hours (because that's your client's hours).

You see it as an intrusion on your family hours because it is. If that makes you unhappy, consider looking for a new job. It's freeing to not be tied to your work at all hours. If you can swing that, I'd do it now.

[Anonymous]

I'm 0.0 available. I'm sure it holds me back but it's not worth it to give up the limited time I have with DD.

[Anonymous]

You state the the job has requirements that you cannot or will not meet.

It's your choice. Do the job or leave the job.

This isn't done over-bearing, slave-driver boss asking for ridiculous amounts of attention for petty crap (hello Biglaw partners!). This appears to be a legitimate job requirement.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand you have a toddler who needs your attention but is it not possible to check emails once he goes to bed?

I check my email throughout the evening and will take emergency calls. I check emails between when I wake up and when DS wakes up. Typically I get several emails while I am sleeping from colleagues overseas.

OP there are no real lines anymore. Do you ever do personal things on work time? I am sure you do, we all do. Make Dr's appts for the family, run out to grab something for school. So as with everything there should be balance. In this world we do home stuff at work and work stuff at home. Balance is key. Don't give up your home life to work but do make an effort to be available sometimes. Even if it is 30 min from 10:30 - 11:00.

[Anonymous]

Big law senior associate on a reduced schedule with a toddler here. My speciality doesn't really require 24/7 availability, but I have clients on the west coast, so their afternoons are my evenings.

I'm marginally available out of work hours - meaning I typically respond to emails, but usually not anything that takes more than ~5-10 minutes (but that can add up). Sometimes it means something time consuming, but I try to keep that to after my LO's bedtime.

It's expected in my job, and something I'd want the junior attorneys who work with me to do, what the partners do, and what the clients expect (and pay for).

I hate it, but I otherwise have a lot of flexibility and independence and the money is good. But it's the main reason I dream of an in house job with fixed hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How available are you for work after hours?
Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent?

I am a working mom and struggling with this.
I am generally never available outside of working hours as I have a toddler who needs my full attention. I work for a global organization with people in different time zones and my unavailabity has been raised as an issue. I love my job but I'm not sure how I feel about this - I see it as an intrusion into my personal family time.

So, what was the solution for this? Did you agree to be available 24/7? Maybe turn on the auto out of office email reply that you're not availalbe from 5pm to 10pm EST.

What did your boss say about being constantly available? Can you delegate to others once you leave the office?

[Anonymous]

How available are you for work after hours? Available after bed time (7:30pm) but not every single night. This is only for urgent items. Luckily this is a rare occurrence for me and happens maybe once every few months.

Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent? Only if they are urgent. I initially made the mistake of constantly answering emails but then slowly extended my reply time on the weekends. Sometimes I'll reply Sunday evening, otherwise it can wait until Monday morning.

[Anonymous]

I'm a litigator and occasionally put in after hours work. usually, I can plan it ahead of time (eg - there's a court deadline that I know i'll be scrambling to meet; so DH and kids are on notice that I might not be around a couple of evenings). when there is nothing expected, i'll check my work phone most evenings once and most weekends twice just to make sure there is no emergency. there usually is not, and people don't bother me at home.

Still, even when things come up, some things are nonnegotiable. when my DH is out of town (frequent), I do school pickup, often leaving the office at 5. also, we try to do dinner as a family, even if one or both of us go back to work after. phone is off during dinner and bedtime, even if I have to log back on later. kids are small and generally in bed by 8. so, absent some planned deadline, I am generally totally unavailable from 530 to 8pm. i'll pick things up after that if necessary and it can't wait until the next workday. mostly, my workplace is pretty respectful of that and doesn't insist on after hours responses unless there is a genuine need.

honestly, if after hours responses were generally expected, I'd be looking for other work. I had a supervisor a few years back that was in the habit of sending emails last thing before she went to bed at night and first thing in the morning. so, at 8am, I would log on to find messages from her on the same topic sent at 11pm and 6am. After a few weeks of that, I found some way to inquire as to whether she actually thought I should be checking messages in between there. she said no! she in fact seemed a little horrified that it made me worried; that's just her preferred rhythm for getting work done -- clearing out her inbox morning and night, and sometimes she would think of something different by morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How available are you for work after hours?
Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent?

I am a working mom and struggling with this.
I am generally never available outside of working hours as I have a toddler who needs my full attention. I work for a global organization with people in different time zones and my unavailabity has been raised as an issue. I love my job but I'm not sure how I feel about this - I see it as an intrusion into my personal family time.

I think you aren't willing to meet the requirements of the job. I work for a company that has global offices - at this point in time, I do not have any co-workers that are not in the US. I know that if I take a different job that has more of a global function, I WILL have to have some wonky meeting hours, and check email once or twice before bed. That's the nature of that beast. I think you should look for a different role. You will continue to get dinged for this, and rightfully so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How available are you for work after hours?
Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent?

I am a working mom and struggling with this.
I am generally never available outside of working hours as I have a toddler who needs my full attention. I work for a global organization with people in different time zones and my unavailabity has been raised as an issue. I love my job but I'm not sure how I feel about this - I see it as an intrusion into my personal family time.

Oh man, I feel this, OP. When my son was little I worked for an international org and had similar issues. I did some combo of holding firm, making clear my afrerhours availability to overseas colleagues (setting aside some time when necessary), and eventually finding another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You state the the job has requirements that you cannot or will not meet.

It's your choice. Do the job or leave the job.

This isn't done over-bearing, slave-driver boss asking for ridiculous amounts of attention for petty crap (hello Biglaw partners!). This appears to be a legitimate job requirement.

I disagree. If her office has clear expectations of what working hours are, it may not be. Also, we don't know if this is just one colleague who complained/snarked, or if a bigger stink is being raised about it.

[Anonymous]

I'm working on my commute home. Once I get home I'm unavailable until the kids go to sleep. From 9-11 I'm available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How available are you for work after hours?
Do you immediately respond to work queries while you're at home and if yes how do you balance this with being a fully present parent?

I am a working mom and struggling with this.
I am generally never available outside of working hours as I have a toddler who needs my full attention. I work for a global organization with people in different time zones and my unavailabity has been raised as an issue. I love my job but I'm not sure how I feel about this - I see it as an intrusion into my personal family time.

I think you aren't willing to meet the requirements of the job. I work for a company that has global offices - at this point in time, I do not have any co-workers that are not in the US. I know that if I take a different job that has more of a global function, I WILL have to have some wonky meeting hours, and check email once or twice before bed. That's the nature of that beast. I think you should look for a different role. You will continue to get dinged for this, and rightfully so.

+1. My colleagues are in Australia, India, Europe, and Egypt. We rotate weekly meeting times so at one time or another, we all have to be on a call in the middle of the night. For the most part, my group is pretty small. If it's a true emergency and they know it's nighttime on the East Coast, they'll call my cell. Emails I usually check one last time before bed, once when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, and first thing in the morning. That way, if there is anything bubbling about, I can address it while they're still at work. Yes, that sometimes leads to unexpected middle of the night meetings.

The flip side is that no one cares that I don't start my workday until 10am US time, that I run personal errands during work hours, or that I attend school functions. It's all give and take. I would be pretty annoyed if a colleague in India or Australia was constantly unavailable when I needed to speak with them or if they demanded that meetings always occurred during their working hours.

[Anonymous]

My rule is unavailable except emergencies from 5:30-7:30pm. Once the kids are asleep, I'm then available until 9-10pm whenever I go to ned.