Anyone pregnant with their third?

[Anonymous]

I am having LOTS of anxiety right now and I need someone words of wisdom or advice or anything to make me feel better. I am currently pregnant with my third. My oldest is 9 and my second is 5. We live a great life and the kids get along wonderfully. And now, here I am pregnant with number three. Here are my worries keeping me up every single night:
I am worried about how number three will fit into their awesome dynamic. I am worried about being sleepless and having to go to work eventually. I am worried I won't be able to give my older two the attention they need and deserve because i will be nursing/ changing/ rocking/ number three. I am worried that paying for three college tuitions will be too hard. I am worried that number three won't be as lovely as number 1 and number 2. I am worried that I am too old to be having this baby (39!). I am worried that my family thinks I'm crazy that I am pregnant again with advanced maternal age risks. I am worried that we won't be able to travel as freely as we do now. I am worried that out small house won't be able to fit three kids- but I love it so much and I love our neighborhood.

I have more but I think I'll stop there for now.

[Anonymous]

So I had all these worries with my number four. I had the 4th a few weeks ago, and whilst I can't pretend all my worries have gone away (college fees!!) the baby has slipped into our lives so beautifully, many of the more general worries have been eased. In particular my eldest (9) who was totally indifferent (verging on against) my pregnancy has become so responsible and loving towards the baby that it's not only lovely to see but it's a huge help to me and I feel like I'm bonding with him all over again.

Babies do change the dynamics of a family but the good parts are often so wonderful that they outweigh any downsides.

Good luck to you, and I hope the fears ease and the excitement takes over!

[littlestarsmum]

Hi there. I can totally understand your concerns. You don’t need to worry about what the future holds for you and your family. Most of my friends got married in their 30’s and had kids. They do a wonderful job with their kids. Remember, worries will never make things better. When God gives children, He also provides for all their needs, gives us His grace and strength to take care of them. I’ve been experiencing this in my life, and I’m sure you’ll do too. Children are a gift from God and they bring so much joy in to our lives. Yours is a precious perfect gift from Him. Please don’t worry over this, but start enjoying your life. Wishing you all the best for a safe and healthy pregnancy. Sending hugs & prayers your way!

[Anonymous]

OP, I am literally in the exact same position as you are: same age and exact same kids' ages. I'm also a bit anxious about giving birth again (though previous pregnancies and births were easy and quick), and about what it will be like going through the infant stages again and with two older kids. However, I'm looking on the bright side. My kids are thrilled they're getting another sibling (my oldest is even asking if we can have a fourth later!). While pregnancy has been more difficult this time around (age does take a toll), I'm full term now and it has been a healthy pregnancy and genetic testing indicated that all is well early on. The fact that I easily became pregnant with this one speaks to the fact that I'm still in good health and research shows that older mothers end-up living longer . The older kids are more independent, and in school all day, so having a new baby will actually be easier on all of us as I will have most of every day to just take care of the new baby. The older kids can also help with the baby. For example, they are old enough and responsible enough to watch her while I cook meals or take a shower. They can both read independently at this point, so they need less help with their studies...the older one does his homework by himself and he can help his younger sibling if needed. They will both be excellent roll models for the youngest as she grows and I will have two helpers who can read to and play with her, which takes some of the time pressure off me! Travel will have to be sacrificed for the near future, but with the age differences, it will not be as difficult later. Big kid will be a great help on trips with his younger sibs! He has already helped me a great deal during this pregnancy by helping to carry things and by picking things up off the floor for me so that I don't have to bend down. Recently, both of my kids even helped me put my boots on when they saw me struggling to reach over my huge belly, lol! My own parents, who were initially in shock that we are having another one, now can't wait to meet the new addition and are more excited than I am. For our family, the additional financial burden of a third has been minimal as we still have many things left over from the older two. As for housing, kids don't really need that much space. Ours share a room and a bunk bed and despite a vast collection of toys and books, it doesn't feel cramped at all. Doing the older kids' various extra curricular activities will be more difficult, but most things take place at their school right after the regular day ends, and my husband will just have to help a bit more with the other stuff, so we'll manage. Last, but not least, the truly difficult period is only the first couple of years, and I already know how quickly they will fly by! You can appreciate the time with your last baby to a greater extent because you already know what' s ahead and how minor the various "problems" will seem in retrospect. Good luck, OP, everything will be fine!

[Anonymous]

This might be me in four years!

Obviously I don't have three, but I was very nervous about how life would change with a second. The one thing I think would have made the transition easier for DD is if she had another sibling to keep her entertained while I had to care for baby. And your children have that!! They will bond over caring for baby, but also keep each other company when you can't be available. It's great that they have such a good relationship. That will work in your favor, I believe. There are multiple ways to get around the logistics of "later", like college, travel, etc. You will start to work those things out gradually as you navigate life with three. That's why it all doesn't happen at once!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am literally in the exact same position as you are: same age and exact same kids' ages. I'm also a bit anxious about giving birth again (though previous pregnancies and births were easy and quick), and about what it will be like going through the infant stages again and with two older kids. However, I'm looking on the bright side. My kids are thrilled they're getting another sibling (my oldest is even asking if we can have a fourth later!). While pregnancy has been more difficult this time around (age does take a toll), I'm full term now and it has been a healthy pregnancy and genetic testing indicated that all is well early on. The fact that I easily became pregnant with this one speaks to the fact that I'm still in good health and research shows that older mothers end-up living longer . The older kids are more independent, and in school all day, so having a new baby will actually be easier on all of us as I will have most of every day to just take care of the new baby. The older kids can also help with the baby. For example, they are old enough and responsible enough to watch her while I cook meals or take a shower. They can both read independently at this point, so they need less help with their studies...the older one does his homework by himself and he can help his younger sibling if needed. They will both be excellent roll models for the youngest as she grows and I will have two helpers who can read to and play with her, which takes some of the time pressure off me! Travel will have to be sacrificed for the near future, but with the age differences, it will not be as difficult later. Big kid will be a great help on trips with his younger sibs! He has already helped me a great deal during this pregnancy by helping to carry things and by picking things up off the floor for me so that I don't have to bend down. Recently, both of my kids even helped me put my boots on when they saw me struggling to reach over my huge belly, lol! My own parents, who were initially in shock that we are having another one, now can't wait to meet the new addition and are more excited than I am. For our family, the additional financial burden of a third has been minimal as we still have many things left over from the older two. As for housing, kids don't really need that much space. Ours share a room and a bunk bed and despite a vast collection of toys and books, it doesn't feel cramped at all. Doing the older kids' various extra curricular activities will be more difficult, but most things take place at their school right after the regular day ends, and my husband will just have to help a bit more with the other stuff, so we'll manage. Last, but not least, the truly difficult period is only the first couple of years, and I already know how quickly they will fly by! You can appreciate the time with your last baby to a greater extent because you already know what' s ahead and how minor the various "problems" will seem in retrospect.
Good luck, OP, everything will be fine!

Wow, this is so nice and helpful! Thank you. I wish I knew you in real life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might be me in four years!

Obviously I don't have three, but I was very nervous about how life would change with a second. The one thing I think would have made the transition easier for DD is if she had another sibling to keep her entertained while I had to care for baby. And your children have that!! They will bond over caring for baby, but also keep each other company when you can't be available. It's great that they have such a good relationship. That will work in your favor, I believe. There are multiple ways to get around the logistics of "later", like college, travel, etc. You will start to work those things out gradually as you navigate life with three. That's why it all doesn't happen at once!

Thanks for this. This is a great thing for me to remember- not everything happens at once!