Would moving in with my mother be a mistake?

[Anonymous]

I'm finally ready to leave my emotionally abusive boyfriend. I want to move in with my mother but sometimes other people's opinions bother me.

My soon to be ex and I actually lived with her in the samw house she resides in currently. We decided to find a larger place since I was pregnant and thought it woukd be a great idea to invite her too. She was living in my brothers apartment after a bad break up and seemed to be going through a bout of depression.

We all moved in together and everything was great, until my mom met a guy that I absolutely could not stand to be around. We decided to let her and her new boyfriend have the house and we moved into a condo.

Long story short, I'm lonely and I miss the house. I hate how my boyfriend treats me. I hate life right now. He doesn't help with anything, not even our kids. I'm done with him after 9 years.

I don't have any friends in this city, I only have my mom. I used to l9ve living with her. I actually had someone to talk to. I just hated that my boyfriend's family used to say I can't take care of my kids on my own because I need to live with my mom. I felt like a loser even though I knew I paid my share of the rent, the entire energy bill and bought everything for my children. I just hated people thinking I need help. I don't need help. I'm honestly just lonely and enjoy my mothers company. My boyfriend never talks to me or goes anywhere with me or our daughters.

Would it be stupid to move back in to the house with my mom when my boyfriend and I break up? Would everyone think I'm a loser again?

[Anonymous]

Who cares what anyone else thinks? This is your life. You deserve to be happy and in a good relationship. If your mother's support helps you right now, don't even think twice.

You do you.

[Anonymous]

No, it doesn't sound like it would be a mistake. Make clear ground rules with your Mom and make sure to let her know how much you appreciate her being there for you and your child. Never worry about what other people think of you - other people's opinion of you is never as good as you hoped or as bad as you feared anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP, it doesn't matter what your ex's family says. His parents raised an abuser. Don't value their opinions.

If moving in with your mom makes the most sense for you and your mom, do it. Condense bills. Save money (both of you). I agree with PP, set ground rules, and go from there. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, but you will almost certainly be better off either way than you are now.

Go with your gut, and do it.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are way too concerned about other people's opinions. The only person living your life is you.

[Anonymous]

But your mother lives with a guy you can't stand. You're going to live with him too.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I forgot to mention they broke up!

[Anonymous]

Didn't you just post about this?

[Anonymous]

You can move in with your mom, but she doesn't sound very stable, and when she brings in yet another loser boyfriend, will that be a good thing for your daughters?

[Anonymous]

No you should not move back in with your mom.

You are co-dependent and you will be unhappy regardless until you get help for yourself.

Instead of moving, look into counseling and meds. If you can't do it for yourself yet, do it for your kids who need you not to be moving and living in co-dependency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can move in with your mom, but she doesn't sound very stable, and when she brings in yet another loser boyfriend, will that be a good thing for your daughters?

NP - this would be my only hesitation.

Otherwise, who the F cares what anyone else thinks? Life is too short.
But the primary issue should ALWAYS be - what's best for your daughters?
Will your mother's home be stable for them? Will there be a revolving door of men who will have access to your daughters?

[Anonymous]

I think you had a similar thread a few weeks ago? I remember your story.

Move back in with your mom. If you're breaking up, you'll never need to contact your bf's family again and won't care what they think.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a plan for the next 9 months of your life? Or, are you simply checking in to her home for a vacation away from your BF?

If you really want to change your life for the better then begin a written set of goals and a plan, however partial it might be, to move your life forward for you and your children. Counseling, school, work....things that will get you to a place of peace within and positive accomplishments. And since you would be moving in with her don't dictate but work out something together. After all, it's like I told my daughter when she moved back in, there will be things required and while you aren't a child you will have some rules. And most importantly, I want you to have a vision of getting back out on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Didn't you just post about this?

It was just as confusing the first time around too.

[Anonymous]

worry about you, and what's in your heart. not what anonymous trollers think. good luck.