Has This Ever Happened To You During The Sign of Peace at Mass?

[Anonymous]

I've visited the Catholic parish (which is predominately white) near my home three times now. However, I have encountered some odd behavior and even glares during each of my visits. During the sign of peace on three occasions I have had the people sitting next to me refusing to shake my hand. No, I'm not dirty and I always wear dress suits to church. It has happened to me again this morning when I attended mass. At first I thought nothing of it until today. I'm a minority and the family sitting in front of me were minorities as well. The lady sitting next to me didn't shake my hand nor the minority family's hands during the sign of peace. The other people near me just looked at me like I was crazy when I put my hand out to shake their hands. This has happened to me three times at this particular parish. The thing is that I've visited various Catholic parishes all over the country and I have never had this happened to me before. This parish is in Howard County. Even though its near my home, I have to look for another parish to attend. I was looking for a home parish since I just relocated to the area, but this one is not welcoming at all. When you say, "Good Morning" or "Hello" people look at me like, "Why are you here?" It's not just during the sign of peace. The overall attitude and behavior (for example: like not wanting to sit next to me) are just extremely peculiar. I've visited countless Catholic churches over the years. I can honestly say that this particular one is by far one the least welcoming and cordial.

I just want to know has anyone ever experienced this or not? Do you find people outright refusing to shake your hand during the sign of peace at mass?

[Anonymous]

Nope. We've been to lots of churches and I've never seen anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Are they shaking hands with anyone else? We used to attend a very high-church Anglican parish. No one shook hands during the passing of the peace. People nodded and smiled, but no handshaking. It was a particular quirk of the rector and the parish, and the only place I've ever experienced that.

[Anonymous]

I've had a few people here and there that are visibly coughing/common colds not extend their hands out simply out of respect and keeping their distance, but never all out ignored (like you describe).

Are they at least giving you a small smile or a wave? Some sort of acknowledgment?

Otherwise, no, OP, I haven't experienced that and I, too, have been to Catholic churches all over the country and world.

[Anonymous]

Are other people shaking hands and then not shaking your hand only? They may be more concerned about spreading germs. I'm also fine to bow out of shaking hands.

[Anonymous]

My MIL's church completely dispenses with shaking hands in the winter because of germs. I did it myself last weekend since I have a cold. A lot of older folks at our church do that for the same reason, especially during the winter.

[Anonymous]

Nope - never had that happen! The only non-contact 'sign of peace' experiences have been the rare times I've gone to 6AM before work Masses. A quick nod seems the norm. If you like other things about the church maybe make appt to talk to priest but sounds like a very unwelcoming place

[Anonymous]

In my 30 years of attending catholic mass i've had someone turn away from the peace one time.

Christmas mass this past year I was with my DD and mom and we were talking at one point and she shushed us and seemed peeved the rest of the mass and then refused to shake our hands (it was the children's christmas mass too so it was hardly a solemn and quiet affair). We were both incredulous and talked about it a lot afterwards since its essentially against the entire concept of the activity.

Very unusual OP, not only would I seek out a different church but I would talk to the priest and let him know this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Germs. During flu season some churches recommend this. If you closely watch the Lay people you will see they use Puracell before administering communion.

[Anonymous]

You would think that if it were parish policy to not shake hands during flu season, hey would make an announcement at the beginning of mass.

Never experienced anything like that, OP.

[Anonymous]

It is flu season? But that is ridiculous

[Anonymous]

I'm a POC and have never experienced anything like that. I would look for a new parish and avoid that one at all costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Germs. During flu season some churches recommend this. If you closely watch the Lay people you will see they use Puracell before administering communion.

+1.

[Anonymous]

A lot of old people at my church don't like to shake hands--they just nod. They're clearly worried about germs.

I often won't shake hands because I have bad allergies and I figure people are grossed out by the fact that I've been wiping my runny nose all mass. But I always smile and say peace be with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a POC and have never experienced anything like that. I would look for a new parish and avoid that one at all costs.

+1. I'm sorry that happened to you.