Is raising your voice with co-workers acceptable at your workplace?

[Anonymous]

My staff member complained to me that someone raised their voice at her. She walked in on a "slightly elevated" discussion in someone's office (she was returning an office key). She intervened in the conversation because she had some clarifying information that she thought would help the situation. The person who was acting heated then "raised his voice at her." She is in an extremely low position relative to him, and she said she felt uncomfortable. I took it to my boss, who didn't care and thought she was being too sensitive. I raised the issue with someone else, and they also thought she was being too sensitive. They are going to ask the person to apologize, but it's clear they don't think he did anything wrong.

Maybe she's being sensitive, but if I were to reverse the situation, and I raised my voice at someone and then heard they felt uncomfortable and were complaining, I would feel very embarrassed and apologize to that person.

Separately, someone was very rude to me - I invited him to a meeting at the request of his boss, and he snapped that he didn't have time to waste at meetings. I was very put off by this rudeness.

Maybe I'm just used to working in more cordial places? Just wondering what the norm is in your workplace when it comes to raising your voice when talking with a co-worker.

[Anonymous]

Has happened maybe once or twice in ten years and then only in the most intense circumstances. No one should be snapping at anyone and if they do, of course they need to apologize. Especially if they are high level bc they set the tone for what everyone else will think is acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Not professional and should only happen in emergencies.
That said, I work with someone whose volume rises with the intensity of the discussion--not out of anger or anything. I think the person might actually have some kind of hearing problem. But still...not good.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she is being too sensitive.
I can't believe you ever raised this with your boss.

Conflict is a natural part of work and sometimes people will raise their voice. If it happened all the time, that would be a different issue.

[Anonymous]

It's possible she shouldn't have intervened right then. However, raising your voice at someone in the office is very unprofessional. An apology would be good, but so would some self control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, she is being too sensitive.
I can't believe you ever raised this with your boss.

Conflict is a natural part of work and sometimes people will raise their voice. If it happened all the time, that would be a different issue.

Not in my work place. Fed office with 150+ people. I've only heard of it happening (through the grapevine) two times in 8 years and both times were severely dealt with by the management.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, she is being too sensitive.
I can't believe you ever raised this with your boss.

Conflict is a natural part of work and sometimes people will raise their voice. If it happened all the time, that would be a different issue.

Really? I can't believe you have ever raised your voice with your boss! Not saying that to be snarky, and I am not a person who avoids confrontation. I just wouldn't raise my voice with my boss (or anyone else at work) because I keep it in check and want to protect my reputation.

[Anonymous]

She should not have walked in. And no, nobody yells at my law firm, except lawyers when they're on speakerphone. But we don't yell at coworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should not have walked in. And no, nobody yells at my law firm, except lawyers when they're on speakerphone. But we don't yell at coworkers.

What does walking in have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

There is no place for raising your voice in the workplace. None. Whatsoever. If you can't control your temper enough to speak to others in a calm and collected manner, you don't belong in your job. Plain and simple. It is entirely unprofessional for any adult to raise their voice at another adult in the workplace. This employee is not being "too sensitive" and being dismissive of her feelings is not the path you want to go down.

[Anonymous]

I just started a new job and I am yelled at on a weekly basis. When I mentioned it to my boss, she said that is just the culture at this organization and not to take it personally. Looking for a new job ASAP.

[Anonymous]

This isn't a simple case of someone raising their voice to this person. She walked in on an already heated discussion and proceeded to interject herself into it. How was that going to turn out well? She is not an innocent victim here. Painting this as if she suddenly got yelled at out of the blue is disingenuous. If that were the case, certainly that would be misconduct. But it's not the case. She stirred the shit here and some got on her.

[Anonymous]

It's acceptable if your organization says it's acceptable. I'm making the assumption the boss in question would be able to hold his temper and not raise his voice to a client/customer/his boss so clearly he has the ability to do so but elected not to use that self control in the office discussion.

So the real question is why was the person not in control of his emotions? Was it embarrassment when she clarified a piece of information? Was it pressure from his boss? Oh and as a side note, if a woman supervisor raised her voice and was yelling, they would say she was PMSing and overly emotional, but now because a woman is saying a man is doing so, she is overly sensitive and he is just letting off steam. Bottom line isn't getting some half -a^^ apology but getting the person to acknowledge he wasn't in control of his emotions, why, what would he do different next time and does he want an environment where people are afraid to come to him with important information or not? There has to be some incentive, gee whiz, this is why it's important not to yell at folks and get to the bottom of what's going on moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't a simple case of someone raising their voice to this person. She walked in on an already heated discussion and proceeded to interject herself into it. How was that going to turn out well? She is not an innocent victim here. Painting this as if she suddenly got yelled at out of the blue is disingenuous. If that were the case, certainly that would be misconduct. But it's not the case. She stirred the shit here and some got on her.

Agree with all of this. She is also much lower than the yellee. She could have interjected with what she thought was clarifying information and it was just completely out of context and off the wall. That could be very irritating. I'm not saying yelling is OK but some of these employees are clueless. If the yeller had just smiled condescendingly and said "Thanks Larla, but you know nothing about this. Please shut the door behind you and don't interrupt again." Perfectly polite but could also miff someone.

[Anonymous]

I think raising your voice and/or using profanity is unacceptable, but I seem to be a dying breed....it's always funny when someone uses profanity in my presence (even if we're out for a team lunch for example) they immediately profusely apologize, like I'm their Mom or something...