Examples of codependent behavior

[Anonymous]

I am having a hard time understanding what codependent behavior is, and what it means.

Can someone try to explain it to me, or give some examples?

[Anonymous]

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency


Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
An extreme need for approval and recognition
A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
A compelling need to control others
Lack of trust in self and/or others
Fear of being abandoned or alone
Difficulty identifying feelings
Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
Problems with intimacy/boundaries
Chronic anger
Lying/dishonesty
Poor communications
Difficulty making decisions

[Anonymous]

Thanks for posting that list.

What I meant was an example of codependent behavior in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Well, here's an example.

40-something SIL lives with MIL. SIL is able-bodied, has a college degree, lots of talent, and possible job opportunities.

MIL has $, fairly good health, and doesn't have to work. Instead of encouraging SIL , MIL makes clear every decision they make or thing they do is not what she would do or as good as she would do it. When SIL was in her 20's, she had job opportunities in NYC. Instead of encouraging her, MIL told her she would never make it there and discouraged her from moving away.

SIL has low self-esteem as MIL's constant jabs for 40 years makes her second-guess every instinct. Because of this, SIL doesn't have a full-time job lives in MIL's house, thus accomplishing MIL's goal of keeping SIL close to her.