Does anyone have/or had a child who was homesick?

[Anonymous]

My daughter is a freshman at UMBC. She started back in August and went back for the spring semester last week. She came home this weekend and when I took her back to school she was in tears asking if she can transfer to a school closer to home so she doesn't have to live on campus. She said she doesn't like being away from home for so long and she misses being home. I told her to hang in there and maybe we'll revisit it in another month or so. Has anyone dealt with homesick kids and if so, how did you handle it?

[Anonymous]

My friend's child did and she did end up moving back home (and kept going to school). She was much happier.

[Anonymous]

My son was. He went to school across the country. We promised him that he would see at least one family member in person each month. It was expensive the first year with all the cross-country flights. But he was proud of himself for sticking it out and now he lives out there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my son was first semester freshmen year. He joined a sports club and that was the glue that kept in school. Is she involved at school? It can be lonely if you are not in a sport or fraternity /sorority , or club.

It's very normal for kids to get homesick in collage. I was so shocked when it happened to my son because he never got homesick and he went away to several camps from a small child.

[Anonymous]

UMBC? Like an hour or less from DC?
Why can't she come home often or you visit often?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMBC? Like an hour or less from DC?
Why can't she come home often or you visit often?

Maybe going home each weekend isn't enough for OP's DD? Maybe she's a little immature and not ready to live away from home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMBC? Like an hour or less from DC?
Why can't she come home often or you visit often?

I'm working on getting her own car so she can come home when she wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my son was first semester freshmen year. He joined a sports club and that was the glue that kept in school. Is she involved at school? It can be lonely if you are not in a sport or fraternity /sorority , or club.

It's very normal for kids to get homesick in collage. I was so shocked when it happened to my son because he never got homesick and he went away to several camps from a small child.

No she's not in any activities. She hasn't found one that she's interested in.

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to tell what's a normal or acceptable level of homesickness or when it's too much.

[Anonymous]

I had two friends who had really homesick kids last year. One ended up leaving the school (an Ivy, too!) and transferring to a closer school. The other ended up sticking it out and loves it now. I have no idea how the parents in each case decided to take the routes they took.

[Anonymous]

[wmv]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my son was first semester freshmen year. He joined a sports club and that was the glue that kept in school. Is she involved at school? It can be lonely if you are not in a sport or fraternity /sorority , or club.

It's very normal for kids to get homesick in collage. I was so shocked when it happened to my son because he never got homesick and he went away to several camps from a small child.

No she's not in any activities. She hasn't found one that she's interested in.

I went to college close-ish to home and I was miserable my freshman year because I hadn't found any good friends yet. I told myself I was homesick but really I was lonely in general.

I would encourage her to stick it out and put herself out there and try clubs/activities/volunteer as much as she can. It's not going to fall into her lap, she needs to really try hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[wmv]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my son was first semester freshmen year. He joined a sports club and that was the glue that kept in school. Is she involved at school? It can be lonely if you are not in a sport or fraternity /sorority , or club.

It's very normal for kids to get homesick in collage. I was so shocked when it happened to my son because he never got homesick and he went away to several camps from a small child.

No she's not in any activities. She hasn't found one that she's interested in.

I went to college close-ish to home and I was miserable my freshman year because I hadn't found any good friends yet. I told myself I was homesick but really I was lonely in general.

I would encourage her to stick it out and put herself out there and try clubs/activities/volunteer as much as she can. It's not going to fall into her lap, she needs to really try hard.

That's what it sounds like to me too. Social pressure maybe? Or she expected college to be different than it is. Definitely get involved in things.

Coming home is fine but I'd discourage her from coming home too often as that will ensure that she doesn't get involved.

[Anonymous]

Hi Mom! YES! We had some homesickness too. My daughter went to college about an hour away from home, so it was easy for me to go see her frequently those first few month.

Have you had a chance to ask your daughter what would make her feel more comfortable there? (Maybe) my daughter had a little bit of a sheltered life.. so she just was overwhelmed with what was going on at her campus. Too much partying and she just didn't know how to deal with it. And she felt like if she didn't join in..she was an outsider. I hope that your daughter can find a group of like minded girls to bond with. A turning point for my daughter was when she joined the dance team. It gave her a social outlet outside of classes, and it helped for her to manage her time.

Is there anything your daughter is involved in? There should be plenty of opportunities with clubs on campus.

Another thought would be to see if she can get a job on campus. That too, could give her a chance to make some friends.

Its heartbreaking when our kids aren't happy. But as they get older, we can't fix everything for them. They need to figure it out. All that we can do is try to ask the right questions so that they can figure out the right answers.

Hope to hear that she is able to get a little more connected at school.

Bunny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:UMBC? Like an hour or less from DC?
Why can't she come home often or you visit often?

I'm working on getting her own car so she can come home when she wants to.

Why can't she just ride-share? A student living on campus shouldn't need their own car as a freshman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi Mom! YES! We had some homesickness too. My daughter went to college about an hour away from home, so it was easy for me to go see her frequently those first few month.

Have you had a chance to ask your daughter what would make her feel more comfortable there? (Maybe) my daughter had a little bit of a sheltered life.. so she just was overwhelmed with what was going on at her campus. Too much partying and she just didn't know how to deal with it. And she felt like if she didn't join in..she was an outsider. I hope that your daughter can find a group of like minded girls to bond with. A turning point for my daughter was when she joined the dance team. It gave her a social outlet outside of classes, and it helped for her to manage her time.

Is there anything your daughter is involved in? There should be plenty of opportunities with clubs on campus.

Another thought would be to see if she can get a job on campus. That too, could give her a chance to make some friends.

Its heartbreaking when our kids aren't happy. But as they get older, we can't fix everything for them. They need to figure it out. All that we can do is try to ask the right questions so that they can figure out the right answers.

Hope to hear that she is able to get a little more connected at school.

Bunny

I tried to talk her into joining the dance team since she loves dancing and has taken dance since she was 4. She said she went to one audition and felt intimidated by the other girls and didn't go to the other auditions.