I need a swim mom pep talk
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Anonymous
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DD has swum for years. Starting HS next year at a quite competitive level. I'm looking at four more years of setting my alarm before 5:00 several times a week to support her. She's presently highly motivated and aiming for national level competition (she recently qualified for junior nationals after years of being good but not outstanding). This is all great. I was a swimmer and I know there's value in the commitment, hard work, discipline. But I am feeling burned out. And I don't even do the swimming! I'm worrying about how I will get her from HS to afternoon practice next year, which will squeeze my already tight work schedule (I work part-time and from home often already).
I'm not really considering telling her she can't pursue her dreams. Anyone BTDT who can tell me she'll eventually find a ride with HS drivers to practice and that it's all worth it (not because she's going to make the Olympics, but because she loves it and it keeps her out of trouble.) |
Anonymous
| To give you some perspective. Katie Ledecky's father left his Biglaw partner job to support Katie. Not saying your DD is Katie or your family situation can support the Ledecky lifestyle, though your DD should try her absolute hardest and strive to be like her. |
Anonymous
| Are you a single mom? Where is DD's dad? Are there parents nearby whose kids swim and you can do morning carpools? |
Anonymous
| I have a kid who is a high level gymnast and practices every day. I pay people to drive her. |
Anonymous
| Can you buy her a cheap car? |
Anonymous
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What about finding ways to maximize the morning hours? You could go for a run or a swim, or you could visit the gym yourself. You could hang out at Starbucks with a book.
Your daughter sounds incredibly successful and motivated. It would be hard not to support her dream, but it does sound miserable to get up at that hour every morning. We have a younger swimmer and we hear parents worrying about the lifestyle you are describing. |
Anonymous
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I had a kid like this in a different sport and it is hard and our family did make some sacrifices to make it work. But four years will go by more quickly than you realize!
Our kid got college scholarships to do his sport and is doing it professionally now, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. |
Anonymous
| OMG, your post title has me laughing. I'm a swim mom too and it's a BRUTAL commitment. It sounds like you have a decent arrangement with working from home, etc. Lately my child and I have been coming up against some swim issues and there is part of me that wishes I were a SAHP because it would be easier to manage everything. But not an option for us. You really only have two years left though if she's going to be a freshman? Any chance she could set the alarm on her own on the days you aren't driving her (if you are in a carpool) If you aren't in a carpool, find one, or find a more convenient local club. |
Anonymous
Kid is headed into Freshman year. I doubt she's old enough to drive. |
Anonymous
x2 - Father of a 14 yr old Freshman in HS |
Anonymous
| carpool with others, i know this is a new concept but it might take off, you contact other parents on the team and you each take turns driving. |
Anonymous
| carpool with others, i know this is a new concept but it might take off, you contact other parents on the team and you each take turns driving. |
Anonymous
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Chiming in as a former high school swimmer whose high school used a pool across town from school. My mom would never drive me to morning practice (4x a week was required and I was lucky to get to one) and I had to scramble and beg to get to afternoon practice. My mom wouldn't go in on a carpool because she "hated owing people". I told myself that I just wasn't dedicated enough and that she didn't want to drive me because I wasn't fast or hard-working and it are away at my confidence in sports. I still have anxiety dreams about missing practice and not qualifying for meets! I love swimming and it's still a huge part of my life, but I feel sad that I couldn't have put more into it in high school. Wanting to work at something hard and not having the opportunity to do so is such a defeating feeling.
So that's my way of saying that hs and the terrible mornings (or insert any other thankless parenting chore here) will be short, but your swimmer will remember your support (or lack of it) for decades after. |
Anonymous
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First off, you are not alone! The time commitment is brutal and we're all there with you. The upside of finding a carpool is that it gets easier on you. The downside is that you do lose some quantity of quality time with your child.
The only thing I can do is to tell you to keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. It is there and in 4 years you will be out from under ... wondering how the time passed so quickly and how you want some of that time with your kid back! Oh, and on the plus side, morning practices mean you miss the evening rush crush that other sports have to face getting from Point A to Point B in rush hour traffic. So you may be in the dark in the morning but at least by 7 am you know that one thing is off your list! |
Anonymous
Not sure if your kids are swimmers, but lots of kids on high level club swim teams do not live near each other. So finding carpool buddies before 5am is not the same as driving carpool to evening rec soccer practice. |