12yo academic difficulties: Should we seek an evaluation?

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to figure out if we should seek some evaluation/help for our 12yo son's academic issues, and if so, from whom. He's having a horrendous 7th grade year in MCPS; a wild mix of As and Es, often because he simply forgets assignments or doesn't turn them in. We check Edline obsessively, have a math tutor (and moved him out of the advanced math class) which has helped. But he broke down crying last week saying that he doesn't know why he can't keep track of things or do better in school.

Fwiw he's never enjoyed school and claims he doesn't care about his grades (but gets upset about bad grades.) I've wondered if he has some fine motor issues - his handwriting looks like a first grader's, and he often misspells basic words that he clearly knows how to spell correctly (e.g., always did great on spelling tests but when writing spells simple words incorrectly.)

My husband is convinced his issues are simply about lack of motivation, and I'd heard that MCPS typically 'catches' any serious issues by middle school. I'm also a bit dubious about pathologizing what are just normal tween behaviors. But I think we have to at least contemplate the possibility that there is something beyond the usual kid laziness here. Can anyone recommend next steps here? Any suggestions on a professional or a private practice that might be helpful in assessing and working with a kid like this?

[Anonymous]

What you wrote screams ADHD and perhaps dyslexia. Please assume that he's trying his best and wants to succeed as much as you want him to. Get him evaluated. Several years ago, Stixrud was the place to go, but there might be better places now. It costs several thousand dollars, but if you can possibly afford it, it's worth it.

[Anonymous]

Your DH is wrong on this one OP, but he is the only dad who has gotten on the train screaming and dragging his feet the whole way. Dad's are usually the last to recognize and admit that they have a child who needs extra help. So go easy on him.

Agreed on the ADHD but not seeing anything that says dyslexia but we aren't doctors....just parents who've been there and done that.

With regards to the handwriting - many times ADHD is accompanied by a delay or weakness in fine and gross motor skills.

Get an evaluation, and if you can swing it go private. It will run you around $3K but you'll find that it is money well spent. And if you plan to get accommodations for your child you'll need the eval anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is wrong on this one OP, but he is the only dad who has gotten on the train screaming and dragging his feet the whole way. Dad's are usually the last to recognize and admit that they have a child who needs extra help. So go easy on him.

Agreed on the ADHD but not seeing anything that says dyslexia but we aren't doctors....just parents who've been there and done that.

With regards to the handwriting - many times ADHD is accompanied by a delay or weakness in fine and gross motor skills.

Get an evaluation, and if you can swing it go private. It will run you around $3K but you'll find that it is money well spent. And if you plan to get accommodations for your child you'll need the eval anyhow.

that should say ISN'T.

[Anonymous]

Yes, get an evaluation. I would start with the pediatrician and also with the school counselor. You can ask the school counselor an evaluation and it will start a time line for getting it done.

My personal experience has been this. Our MCPS MS falls all over itself to provide assistance and make your kid successful. But, my ES and HS experience are not the same. I found it really helpful to have medical back up to support what I was requesting for my son. In fact, my son, who struggles just to get a D, would not have services if I had not had outside evaluations. That being said, the outside evaluations do not have to be full blown neuropsych evaluations - which is not to say that this isn't a good idea, just that you don't have to wait for this to get the ball rolling on getting services and accommodations that your child would benefit from in school.

One last thing - and this is for your husband. It's easier to get things into place in ES and MS than in HS. I (and everyone I know) feel like HS expects so much and offers so little to help kids be successful. I spend far more time making things work in HS and before HS, I never had to call to be sure the IEP was being followed. Now, it's at least a quarterly event.

[Anonymous]

Is 7th grade the first year of MS? If not, how did he do in 6th grade? Many kids, esp boys fall down when they hit MS. It's a lot different than ES. 7 classes a day, 7 teachers a day, 7 HW assignments, etc.

[Anonymous]

Op, I will be following this thread because your post pretty much describes my son except that he is in 5th grade rather than 7th. We had the Vanderbilt forms done by our pediatrician, which showed mixed results with our assessments being much more in line with ADHD than his teachers assessments, so the pediatrician did not give him a diagnosis. Still, he's struggling in school and his grades are all over the place. I don't know where to go next.

[Anonymous]

For the OP and the last poster, you might get a better result by considering a full evaluation from a private source. It would be to identify any special needs as well as to indicate present level of performance and make recommendations on accommodations that are needed to improve academic outcomes. A private evaluation would usually be more comprehensive than a school divisions, especially the first time in making a diagnosis when one does not know what to expect. It might also help you see if your MS student needs a 504 or IEP or rather tutors for specific things such as executive functioning or organizational skills, a specific subject etc. One would have to say that school divsions are not going to go out of their way to find issues necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I will be following this thread because your post pretty much describes my son except that he is in 5th grade rather than 7th. We had the Vanderbilt forms done by our pediatrician, which showed mixed results with our assessments being much more in line with ADHD than his teachers assessments, so the pediatrician did not give him a diagnosis. Still, he's struggling in school and his grades are all over the place. I don't know where to go next.

This sounds like my ADHD-PI DD. In 5th grade her teachers saw no issues even though we certainly did at home. Her grades were fine but it was clear to me she was struggling. It became VERY apparent in high school that she needed medication, which made a world of difference. Her self-esteem took quite a hit though. I wish I had had a neuropsych done in middle school so that we could have had support set up for her in high school before she got in over her head.

[Anonymous]

I will be a dissenter about getting tested. I don't see huge red flags other than becoming a teenager and not thrilled about school.

The one recommendation I would suggest is brushing up on his study and organizational skills. These are skills that can be worked upon and improved just like anything else. I really like the Homework Made Simple book by Ann Dolin.

Have a sit down with your kid. Review the strategies/schedule for this coming semester. Get his input on how to do better. He may not want to or like it, but he needs to. If he put the work into an assignment, he might as well turn it in.

You may need to a little more hands on for a few weeks until there's more of a system in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be a dissenter about getting tested. I don't see huge red flags other than becoming a teenager and not thrilled about school.

The one recommendation I would suggest is brushing up on his study and organizational skills. These are skills that can be worked upon and improved just like anything else. I really like the Homework Made Simple book by Ann Dolin.

Have a sit down with your kid. Review the strategies/schedule for this coming semester. Get his input on how to do better. He may not want to or like it, but he needs to. If he put the work into an assignment, he might as well turn it in.

You may need to a little more hands on for a few weeks until there's more of a system in place.

Listen to this person at your peril, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why would you not get him evaluated? What is the negative. You'll either find out you're right and can act accordingly to get him help or it will put your mind at ease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you not get him evaluated? What is the negative. You'll either find out you're right and can act accordingly to get him help or it will put your mind at ease.

What does the evaluation entail? Where do you go to get it done? If the Vanderbilt is inconclusive, what next?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to figure out if we should seek some evaluation/help for our 12yo son's academic issues, and if so, from whom. He's having a horrendous 7th grade year in MCPS; a wild mix of As and Es, often because he simply forgets assignments or doesn't turn them in. We check Edline obsessively, have a math tutor (and moved him out of the advanced math class) which has helped. But he broke down crying last week saying that he doesn't know why he can't keep track of things or do better in school.

Fwiw he's never enjoyed school and claims he doesn't care about his grades (but gets upset about bad grades.) I've wondered if he has some fine motor issues - his handwriting looks like a first grader's, and he often misspells basic words that he clearly knows how to spell correctly (e.g., always did great on spelling tests but when writing spells simple words incorrectly.)

My husband is convinced his issues are simply about lack of motivation, and I'd heard that MCPS typically 'catches' any serious issues by middle school. I'm also a bit dubious about pathologizing what are just normal tween behaviors. But I think we have to at least contemplate the possibility that there is something beyond the usual kid laziness here. Can anyone recommend next steps here? Any suggestions on a professional or a private practice that might be helpful in assessing and working with a kid like this?

It sounds like ADHD and executive functioning issues. I don't know much about dyslexia, but I know that the quality of my son's writing (ADHD and executive function challenges) varies wildly. It has a lot to do with how well he can regulate his attention to the writing and how much structure the writing assignment involves. Book reports are torture.

Some forgetfulness is normal, but not to the point where it's badly affecting grades. Claiming not to like school or not to care about grades is a defensive maneuver for a kid who is struggling. Middle school is where these issues hit a critical mass and students who previously held it together better, really start having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I will be following this thread because your post pretty much describes my son except that he is in 5th grade rather than 7th. We had the Vanderbilt forms done by our pediatrician, which showed mixed results with our assessments being much more in line with ADHD than his teachers assessments, so the pediatrician did not give him a diagnosis. Still, he's struggling in school and his grades are all over the place. I don't know where to go next.

PP, you might want to get an evaluation by a neuropsychologist. It is possible that the teacher didn't objected rly evaluate your child.

I had this with my spouse. What happened was that she only considered his behavior when she worked with him o e on one with a project and only after he got engaged on something he liked. Our doctor discounted it because he even found the evidence to be so off what the other two found and what he had been seeing for years.